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Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year

9:57pm Tuesday 20th December 2011 in Blogs Photograph of the Author By Claire Banks - Contented Mummy

Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year

Are you sick of it yet? Where most people have been ramping up the festivities since 1st December, I retreated into a bubble. I don't think Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.

It's two days. Just two, out of 365. We cram in more tasks than we achieve the whole year round. We fill our diaries with endless get togethers, frightened that people will be offended if 'we don't get together before Christmas'. The shops will close for two days but we buy enough food and supplies in case the world ends on 26th December. Am I the only one who thinks it is daft? I watched my mother go the extra mile to make Christmas special but nearly lose the plot in the process.

Talking to another mum at the bus stop today, she exclaims how her two boys under 5 are completely wound up with excitement for Christmas. Which is an argument for tapering down the fuss. It is completely possible to make the festive season special for the kids without having a nervous breakdown. After all, most kids under five, won't remember the build up a week later, they have memories like goldfish only retaining snippets of amazing moments.

Before you write me off as a complete Scrooge, I am getting in the festive mood. All the kids activity classes are on holiday, no dancing, no swimming. CBeebies Bedtime Hour has been replaced with Jackson Five's Santa Claus is Coming to Town and other festive oldies. I will be spending whole days in the kitchen cooking, which, for me, is a sort of therapy. We have time as family to prepare together and have some fun.

For many people, Christmas is a time for being with loved ones. Which is why, when those loved ones aren't around anymore, the day can be a stark reminder of their loss. If you're single, divorced or can't be with your family for whatever reason, you'll undoubtedly feel more lonely than you've ever been made to feel. It can be a very cruel occasion.

For my brother-in-law and a close friend, 2011 has been the year of cancer. This will be their first Christmas without their mums. It's probably the toughest hurdle for their grieving process so far. They will be spending it with their families which could ease the pain but equally being altogether may make them aware of who is missing. I know I'm going to be supping back a Baileys for someone who won't be at our table and I hate the stuff. I can't really decide if it is a good thing to be reminded of all the bad stuff or healthy to take stock and reflect.

Whatever the outcome, I won't be sorry on 27th December that Christmas is over, it won't be an anti-climax. I'll be relieved to get on with more important things in my life, like starting a business and dealing with the fact i won't have a job come May 2012. Merry Christmas, I promise I'll cheer up by the 25th.

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Comments(7)

JoeBlow says...
3:36am Wed 21 Dec 11

I guess you've never heard of the 12 days of Christmas.

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rick_farrar says...
11:35am Wed 21 Dec 11

At last! Someone who speaks sense.Thank you for your common sense approach to this madness that seems to overtake so many at this time of year. Lest we forget the reason for this joyful occasion: a child was born. If all the hype of the fairy tales is to be believed, he was something special. All new born babies are special so the season is designed to be a celebration of the promise of what is to come when the cold, dark winter days are over. The pity of it is that the good cheer and goodwill towards others will not last the year. As Roy Wood said in his song: "I wish it could be Christmas every day". If that was the case then this hype wouldn't happen and goodwill would be there every day and we would all be the better for it.

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Advokat says...
12:37pm Wed 21 Dec 11

Wonderful article - totally agree - it says it all when the only main concern on the News is how much profit the shops are making - with a day to description of percentages comparable to last year. Not religious myself but admire those who stick to what it is meant to mean - as for those of us on our own - don't be too sad - I told friends I was spending the time with relatives and relatives that I was spending the time with friends - result is I lock the door - eat what I like, doze when I like and watch what I like before the madness of the New Year starts to hit.

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anubis says...
1:27pm Wed 21 Dec 11

Dear Claire – like all social species we humans seek and enjoy communal celebrations … what we choose ‘to celebrate’ is secondary. In most known cultures an individual’s ‘date of birth’ is an event readily ‘re-lived’ whenever the date recurs each year, especially if the person is ‘young’ (after all, what else is there to celebrate in this regular fashion?). You offer no alternative(date) suggestions (presumably you are not against ‘celebrations’, ‘per se’?) Look through photograph albums, covering childhood years, there will invariably be pictorial evidence of these childhood events where we often see ourselves, along with long departed relatives and/or neighbours from ‘next door’).

It’s hardly surprising this ancient, cross-cultural family practice expanded – and the ‘birthday celebrations’ expanded into tribal/ethnic celebrations accompanying anniversaries of births of gods and goddesses, witness Greek. Roman and countless less known peoples studied by today’s anthropologists; the majority of these primitive theologies revolved around worship of the sun-god, the ‘birth date of that God’ placed in the calendar around the time of the vernal equinox (21sst December) – when the days begin growing longer, get warmer and the crops begin to grow. It is hardly surprising numerous mythologies, like the Christian one, ordained this was the time of year when the entire community could come together to celebrate the Sun’s bounty. (The ‘halo’ surrounded pictures of Christ’s head witness to this primordial solar association!) In spite of the routine ‘religious’ indoctrination today’s children get at school, for the overwhelming majority of young children, it’s ‘Father Christmas’ rather than the ‘child Jesus’ seen as the ‘causation’ of all the the hullabaloo.

Even if you are correct (I’m not convinced you are!) that in later years children have little recollection of the extra workload the feasts and parties engender, I cannot understand your making that a negative factor; without question, the huge family get-togethers that happened during my childhood years, remain my very vivid memories. Of course, my recollections probably bear very limited relationship to what actually happened, but every time the Christmas festival takes place, all those (albeit distorted!) memories ‘live again’ … for reasons you have spelled out, they are indeed often very sad (most of the other participants now well and truly dead) – these poignant recollections sobered, however, by the presence of the nine grandchildren, whom, I hope, will spare a kindly thought for me in years, soon to come, when I’ll no longer be around to participate.

Of course the vulgar and excessive commercial razzmatazz that surrounds us everywhere in weeks prior to the events becomes irritating to us older ones (I’m sure it doesn’t hit the kids that way) – but that ‘commercialism’ is with us everywhere; the market economy invades everywhere … today it’s difficult to read the results of medical or scientific research, without carefully isolating and eliminating the covert commercial bias motivating those carrying out or reporting the investigations. Note that even Claire Banks accords as ‘being important’ the “starting a new business”; presumably the ‘business’ she has in mind perceived as ‘different’ from the ‘businesses’ making Christmas cards, Christmas trees or the other associated relevant ‘gifts’.

So, generally speaking, Claire, perhaps everything you say is indeed true -- personally, I think ‘half-truth’ might be the more appropriate term. I’m sure your ‘little one’ agrees with me!

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Claire Banks says...
12:42pm Sat 24 Dec 11

Blimey Anubis, we could turn your comment in a counter post! But i have to say I'm relieved at the sensible comments and good debate. Unlike some of the Argus trolls on the flash mob articles!!! Merry Christmas all and thanks for commenting.

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mcsofa says...
9:05am Sun 25 Dec 11

Hmm, yeah, bits of it are good, bits of it are stupid. Ready Meal and Scratchcard portray the negatives quite effectively:

http://www.youtube.c
om/watch?v=R3K1Zukdt
dU

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Dragon Slayer says...
8:18pm Tue 3 Jan 12

Excellent piece, as usual Claire.

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