What about Daddy? (From The Argus)

What about Daddy?

3:34pm Tuesday 7th April 2009

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By Claire Banks - Contented Mummy »

How could I have forgotten Daddy? I was so enthusiastic about my own experiences I have shamefully overlooked the role that Little L’s father has played in these last six months. The simple fact is I could not be such a contented mum without his support. With running the household plus dad is working full-time, we don’t have oodles of ‘isn’t-life-amazing-being-a-parent’ heart to hearts. It was an enlightening exercise to listen to my partner’s life as Dad.

A father’s role in starting a family is very important and not just the biology! During pregnancy Claire suffered with morning sickness for over three months. Not only did I offer emotional support but was doing most of the housework and cooking during that time. After the birth, while Claire and Little L were focussing on breastfeeding I made sure the environment was optimal for getting it right e.g. space, comfort, and cups of tea on demand!

The first few weeks after the birth I felt a mixture of pride, happiness and nervousness. We had attended ante-natal classes which helped me understand the basic care needs of a baby. However, nothing compares to a real life crying, dirty, hungry baby so it was slightly overwhelming. Newborn babies don’t engage with you, although I blatantly loved her to pieces, I found it difficult to connect with her in the same way as her mother did.

The first time I had to care for my daughter alone was when Claire had to go back to hospital 11 days after the birth. Aside from the fact I was worried about Claire, I was petrified about being thrown in the deep end so soon. Luckily it was nothing serious and Claire was back after a few hours but I was extremely grateful for her parents coming over to help me. As the months have passed, I have spent more time alone with my daughter and grown bolder. It doesn’t faze me at all to spending a whole day or evening looking after her. What makes a contented parent? I do think having children when you are ready helps, you are more than likely in the mindset to take responsibility for another person other than yourself. However, I think many people rise to the challenge regardless of timing. With each new week, a different challenge can present itself, so I’m well and truly kept on my toes. I talk with other dads to get ideas and build my confidence. The rewards are unfathomable. When I arrive home after my night shift and see my daughter awake in her cot, grinning back at me by heart melts. She also makes me laugh out loud when things don’t go to plan, such as her weeing on the bed when I turn my back for a split second.

I have learned a lot about myself but I firmly believe you don’t have to become a parent to be a better person. It is just a different path in life; a brilliant, awesome one at that.