It ain’t half hot mum – the Coronation Street Tram Smash (From The Argus)

It ain’t half hot mum – the Coronation Street Tram Smash

9:51am Wednesday 8th December 2010

• Print
• Email
• Comments(12)

By Emma Cave - Telly Belly »

Ah, the Corrie tram smash. Such a lovely idea. What better way to mark the 50 year anniversary of the UK’s premium soap? Because despite what the Soap Awards results may tell you, Corrie is da bomb. This programme been documenting the everyday misery of British folk since the day it began, so why break with tradition?

It’s still not entirely clear who is going to perish in the inferno (well, except the tram driver, that’s kind of a given) and I can’t help but hope that this may be a timely excuse to get rid of some of the street’s most tedious characters. Such as:

Nick Tilsley - I am tired of Nick whining at Leanne to come away with him and forget all this blah blah. He may be offering her the world but I can guarantee they won’t get further than Leeds. She may as well stick with Peter, who is probably raking in a decent enough amount of child benefit to keep a girl in Claire’s Accessories.

Kieran Boyzone - Kieran is clearly cannon fodder. He hasn’t had a decent storyline in months. And he bores me rigid. Didn’t he get that exotic job offer in Scotland? What is he still doing here? GET RID!

Gail Platt - It irks me that Gail broke patient confidentiality by reading aloud to Nick from Natasha’s medical records, yet somehow she still has her job. Many many people have tried and failed to kill Gail, including her own son. Surely a tram should do it?

Eileen Grimshaw - I hate Eileen. She is misery personified. Nothing ever makes her happy. Not John Thomson, not 10 pints of lager, if this woman won the lottery she’d be moaning about having to buy a new wallet. She needs to go. Please.

Claire ‘n’ Ashley Peacock - Nothing against these two per se but they are just…so…dull. If they survive and move to France, there’s a decent chance they will come back. I can’t see Ashley mastering the lingo. I can’t see Claire coping with having to smear the kids with Factor 100+ every 15 minutes. No. Finish it. Finish them.

John Stape - I cannot bear to watch this man. His relentless good intentions. His terrible luck and appalling decisions. The fact that Fizz seems to remains oblivious, no matter how many corpses he may stash in the airing cupboard. It’s just painful. He needs putting down. It’ll be best for everybody. He won’t feel a thing…

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here