This was the very first performance of Quantagasm, Malcolm Boyle's solo powerpoint presentation, and it showed.

Smooth talking Thought Consultant John Kyron, played by Boyle, was selling the answer to everything, namely Purons, an invisible solution to all things negative and conspiratorial in the universe, especially The One World Government.

Boyle was attempting to satirise the big commercial sell that prays on our insecurities and causes us to believe in and purchase any cranky product that might make everything better. If you're not sure you want it, then buy it!

This performance was too soft a sell, Kyron had all the words but not the killer attitude to clinch the deal. It looked as if his degree from The Mexican Institute Of Absolute Wellness had sold him short.

In a world where happiness and wellbeing have become the new sin, where mental and physical fitness is so vital, Boyle has a big fat target to aim his Puron Beam Gun of satire at.

But on this occasion not one person in the audience was willing to fork out £200 a month for salvation on The Kyron's Golden Arc, and instead wandered away to find temporary sanctum at The Cult of The Bar.

Two stars