All humans go through hard times. Things go wrong with bodies and minds. Not everyone has the faculties to deal with them. Sick! Festival explores “new ways of talking about and dealing with bad times”.

The month-long series of arts events highlights issues which are often hidden or misunderstood.

A month before the main festival kicks off, four real-life stories illustrated by comic artists opens in Jubilee Square. Woodrow Phoenix, whose work has been serialised in The Independent on Sunday, has illustrated the story of a superfit 38-year-old PE teacher who, before having a stroke, cycled 150 miles a week and played basketball.

Duncan Harrap has not only had to deal with his life having been altered forever by the illness but also the separation from his wife and mother of his two children. The teacher from Michael Hall School in Forest Row shares his story...

“I was getting ready for work one day and I felt very strange. I started to feel distant from what was going on around me. I collapsed against the wall, slid down it and ended up face down on the bathroom floor.

“I couldn’t get up. The whole left side of my body was paralysed. I thought I must be able to get my hands under my chest to do a half press-up to get off the ground, but I couldn’t move my hands.

“I was banging around so my wife came in to see what was going on and she found me on the floor. My son went to get the neighbours, who phoned an ambulance.”

Harrap was rushed to hospital and spent two weeks in the high-dependency unit. He had a further five weeks in the Sussex Rehab Centre for stroke survivors in Haywards Heath. After seven weeks, he half-walked out of hospital.

“I’ve often been referred to as stubborn but I prefer determined. One of the first doctors on the ward said, ‘What do you like to do when you are not at work?’ “‘I ride bicycles and I play basketball.’ “He said, ‘I would forget about that if I were you and just be grateful if you ever walk again’.

“I thought that is not an option. I am a PE teacher. I am young. I have two small children.” Harrap was lucky. He could still have conversations with people despite initially losing the ability to speak. He hadn’t lost his memories. He could remember his parent’s and children’s names. He says it was terrifying not being able to move but strangely relaxing. “It was very calming, but then you have moments of clarity when the rational part of your brain kicks in and says if it feels this relaxing it’s got to be serious. “It was like that feeling when the alarm goes off on a winter’s morning. The bed is holding on to you. It is warm and cosy. You put the alarm on snooze and you think, ‘I could sleep for the rest of the day’. But I had to grit my teeth because I could sense the panic of the ambulance crew and my family.” A year and a half on and Harrap has full sensation in his limbs again. He can lift his left arm above his head. But his left hand has little dexterity and he can’t raise his left eyebrow. He can walk long distances on flat surfaces but has a limp. He is hoping to return to work to teach PE again.

“I need an income. I’m living off disability benefits and they are all being slashed. I am too fit for the higher level of disability benefits and need to buy food and have kids to help look after. “I don’t like being dependent on people. I can find simple tasks such as following multiple conversations at once overwhelming. A trip to the supermarket can be exhausting because of the choice of things.”

Then there is the fact he has had to start a new life away from his wife – though he has moved on and now has a new partner. He finds it difficult to play with his kids in the park but his main goal is to show them that there are different types of family; that there are different types of role models.

“Having a stroke is a bit like somebody in the family having a baby. The effect is felt by everybody in the family – grandparents, parents, partners, close friends. I am the bearer but the impact and implications are felt far beyond me.

“It makes you sit up and think, ‘Life is short, where am I in life?’ “That happened with my wife. She thought, ‘Am I happy with everything in my life?’ “It turned out she wasn’t happy with everything. One thing was me. So it became clear soon after I left hospital our relationship had deteriorated and there was no marriage left.”

He’s philosophical about the past.

“You can’t change what is behind you. In my case it made me feel sick and unable to get on with my rehab. I focus on the positive stuff and put my energy into that. “My illness and the fall-out were not ideal. I could question her timing. But life is a strange thing. Who knows why anything happens? Who knows why I got sick in the first place?”

  • Sick! Festival – Stories From The Front Line, Jubilee Square, Brighton, Monday, February 10, to Friday, March 31
  • Call 01273 699733. Visit www.sickfestival.com