Given free rein to visit anywhere in and around Brighton I ventured a little further afield this week and found myself at The New Bush.

At first I thought it was closed but when I asked the nice lady cleaning the bar mirrors she assured me they were open for business.

I was the only person in and there wasn’t a lot of choice on tap so I went for a pint of Kronenbourg and sat in front of one of the three screens in the main bar. There was a programme about 1967 showing and it didn’t seem too out of place.

At this point I was given a very timely warning from the behind the bar that traffic wardens are ‘hot’ in this area. The machine I’d tried to use was out of order but my bar lady assured me this wouldn’t make any difference and I’d still get a ticket.

By the time I’d sorted out the parking issue the headcount in the bar had doubled as I’d been joined by a young lady in a very pretty spotted dress.

Through her blue bubblegum she explained she was bored and only had a red balloon for company.

She then started a game of jumping from one piece of bar furniture to the next – it looked great fun and for a moment I thought about joining in – to be frank you couldn’t really have made the seating look any worse. However, this game was short lived as she’d found her scooter and was now whizzing about the bar at a rate of knots. Clearly fearing for the safety of her sole customer the nice parking-aware lady persuaded her to move to a different part of the bar.

So, left to myself again, I took in the full vista.

It’s a big open L shape with plenty of nods to the Seagulls (pictures, signed shirts etc). There’s a pool table, a jukebox and a dart board and one end is given over to storing tables, chairs and old signs. I’d say the paint was probably red when it went on the walls, but is now more of a dark pink and the conservatory out the back is decidedly tatty.

Looking into the back garden there was a multitude of old, discarded kids’ toys, but I guess that if you had youngsters there in the summer they might find them interesting enough to play with.

Having restocked the bar it was back to cleaning the mirrors, with newspaper I’m pleased to report.

I remarked that giving me the tip of cleaning windows and mirrors with old newspapers was the only useful thing my ex-mother in law had ever done for me. The Ed will be pleased to note it looked like an old Argus that she was using.

The gents was serviceable without being pleasant – I noted that Ben would be singing songs through the years for Shelley’s birthday on February 18. There was also a mirror you’d have to see to believe and a Football fans against The Sun sticker.

Back in the bar I was reacquainted with my favourite seven-year-old who, after I’d got it wrong three times and called her Lily, finally managed to make me understand her name was Millie that’s m i l l i e, she even spelt it out.

A sign proudly proclaims wi-fi is available, another that a bottle of Cobra is £2 and there’s even an RLNI collection box, which is always to be applauded.

At this point the bar lady proudly informed me a traffic warden had walked past and it was a good job I’d listened to her.

So, despite the fact there’s only Carlsberg, Fosters, Guinness, Cider and my Kronie on tap and traffic wardens target it I actually didn’t mind having one in the New Bush.

Sure, it’s tatty and a bit smelly, but it’s a real pub and unapologetic about it. I bet Shelley’s party will be great tomorrow and I’d definitely pop back if there was footie I wanted to watch.

The New Bush, Arundel Road, Brighton

Decor: ★★★ (out of five)

Tatty, like a real pub – there’s even a mini glitter ball

Drink: ★★

Very little on tap, just the usual suspects

Price: ★★

£3.80 for a pint of Kronenbourg

Atmosphere: ★★★

Tricky this one as I was alone but Millie was worth several stars

Staff: ★★★★

Pleasant and an expert on parking

Food: 

No sign of food on offer

  • Do you know a local pub I should visit? I’m happy to try the good, the bad and the ugly. Let me know at: pubspy@theargus.co.uk