In my experience Greene King follows a tried and tested path – it takes the traditional pub experience, adds in as many offers as possible and then makes sure each local hosts its own events.

The Palmeira is a perfect example of this winning formula.

It’s a big, open place with plenty of standing room for busy nights – most surfaces have been tiled, in a wide variety of different patterns.

When I visited there were four separate TV screens all showing a variety of different sporting programmes, ranging from live cricket to a documentary about Steve Redgrave.

The sound is turned down on all screens and there’s music playing at a decent level in the background.

But, the volume must increase when “Live at your Local”, which is prominently advertised, kicks into action.

I found time to fit in a southern fried chicken sandwich on brown bread which, at £5.29, came with sensible, no-messing chips and salad with a fairly powerful peppery dressing.

As I’d opted for a light bite I felt justified selecting a slightly heavier liquid option.

The friendly, helpful barmaid kindly offered me the chance to sample several beers before making my selection.

The first option was Amplified Pale Ale Radio X – a mash up. It was just four per cent and 20p from every pint sold goes to charity, but it tasted even worse than its names sounds.

Sadly I wasn’t feeling anywhere near charitable enough to drink this awful concoction.

I chose instead Buffalo Buffalo, a 5.1 per American ale for £4.

It is a dark amber beer with a foamy tan head and while all profit goes directly to the pub, rather than any good cause, at least it’s drinkable. In fact, it’s a very palatable pint.

The barmaid certainly works hard. As well as serving everyone, collecting and dishing out the food, whenever she had a spare moment she found time to clean the place and had everything behind the bar sparkling.

Turning back to my sarnie I noticed a completely separate menu which I hadn’t spotted previously containing three burgers with a difference.

A pity as I’d have been happy to try a chicken and calamari burger for £8.99.

The documentary had changed to Torvill and Dean so I opted to gaze out of the window instead.

I noticed the floodlights from Sussex Cricket Club, which I hadn’t realised was so close by – I made a mental note to see if I could try its bar in the future.

The pub was filled with a variety of different people, but in between songs I noticed it was almost totally silent.

One guy in a cap was doing a crossword and a lady had brought her dog in a basket on wheels. It sat on her lap through lunch before being wheeled back out again – it’s a dog’s life.

There are some nice touches, fresh flowers in an Absolut Vodka bottle. It’s comfy and well decorated and there’s a pleasant outside seating area at the back.

There’s one fruit machine, no pool, no darts and no jukebox.

Like so many other local pubs, I noticed there is a small area behind the bar set aside for an homage to the recent success of The Seagulls.

There was also a sign saying a new music quiz will take place every Wednesday at 8.30pm.

It was time for me to head for home, which was a shame, as I spotted yet another deal, £2.99 for coffee and cheesecake – maybe next time.

  • Before I go, I must be fair and mention the County Oak. My review of this one has become infamous but credit where it’s due. The pub has undergone a change of hands and the approach from the new man in charge already seems to be making a difference. I popped back for another look and congratulations must go to Simon Parsons for taking some big strides forward.

Well done and I’ll ask the editor if he’ll send you a nice new frame for my review which you’ve got on show by the door.


Decor: ★★★★☆

A bit trendy maybe, but generally tasteful

Drink: ★★★☆☆

There is a wide range, with several decent ales to choose from

Price: ★★★☆☆

The sandwich was reasonable and pint not too bad at £4

Atmosphere: ★★☆☆☆

Almost silent, when the music stopped

Staff: ★★★★☆

One of the hardest-working barmaids I’ve come across

Food: ★★★☆☆

A decent sarnie, but I’d be more experimental next time