I’ve been spying the good, bad and ugly pubs of Brighton for six months now and am pleased to say I’ve found far more praiseworthy watering holes than complete dives.

However, I haven’t as yet made it to the marina so decided to put that omission right this week.

There seemed to be two main choices and although the view from the West Quay’s balcony looked spectacular, I decided there is an element of “seen one Spoons, seen em all”.

So I found myself in the timber-clad Master Mariner, gazing out on a whole lot of yachts you and I are never going to be able to afford.

Beautiful surroundings though, and some rays of sunshine to boot, so I decided I’d take my lunch al fresco.

That’s not to say it didn’t look good inside – stacks of seating and even a nice old piano.

It was decision time at the bar so I tasted the Gun Brewery Pale Ale, suitable for vegans and weighing in at 4.6 per cent – having tried it I decided to leave it to the vegans and opted instead for George Gale Seafarers at 3.6 per cent. Then, having adventurously tried the vegan beer I even more adventurously ordered a crocodile burger.

It was a difficult choice, but one by one I rejected the alternatives of kangaroo, wild boar, zebra, llama, camel – this was no snap decision. The pub proudly announces it supports local produce but I haven’t noticed zebra and camel in the fields near me.

Before I headed for the sunny deck outside a woman came into the bar and asked for the keys to the fruit machine and quiz machine. They’d never seen her before but seemed happy to let her check the machines and empty the cash. No ID was requested before they looked behind the bar for said keys – I almost wished I’d come up with this wheeze myself.

She looked like a woman who’d turned up with a bag but to be fair, when she went to work she knew what she was doing.

Once outside I sat down and did something I haven’t felt the need to do in Brighton before. I returned my half full pint to the bar. It wasn’t that it was off, or anything like that, it was just that it was too boring to drink, too tasteless, too uninteresting, a touch too cloudy.

It’s hard to believe it, but I purchased myself a pint of Moretti instead and was much happier.

The bearded Irish barman who served me looked a bit quizzical but then he’d already experienced a crocodile-eating vegan so this was much less strange.

My croc burger was fine, though not remarkable – it could have been anything to be honest, the chips with their skins still on were excellent but the shredded carrot/cabbage was a very dry, unnecessary addition.

I was suddenly surrounded by a flock of seagulls (not the band) and while I felt capable of protecting my lunch I did fear for the rat-like dog that had arrived at the next table – they definitely could have snatched him.

Immediately the last mouthful was gone these noisy, but clearly practised, beggars, shifted their attentions elsewhere.

Then I felt safe to have a pudding and chose a chocolate brownie – the best part of the meal by far.

The editor will be pleased to hear a man in blue shorts supping on a Strongbow discarded all the national papers to get his hands on an Argus.

If you don’t fancy climbing the stairs to the gents you can opt for the Stannah lift, which is a little strange as the disabled toilet is downstairs. Though thinking about it, there is a function room upstairs – it was locked for my visit but is free to hire.

There’s not a great deal more to say other than I reckon it would be warm and inviting in winter with the real fire alight.

There’s nothing wrong with this pub whatsoever and I would return, though it feels it’s set up more for tourists than for locals.

The Master Mariner, Brighton Marina

Decor: ★★★☆☆

In keeping with its nautical surroundings

Drink: ★☆☆☆☆

Both beers I tried weren’t great

Price: ★★★☆☆

About what you’d expect with the view

Atmosphere: ★★☆☆☆

It felt a little bit out of the way

Staff: ★★★☆☆

Plenty of staff working

Food: ★★★☆☆

Exotic fare on offer, tasted fair enough