YOUNGpeople constantly surprise us by doing and understanding more than we ever thought they would. We must encourage them to recognize their lives are full of opportunities to discover more about themselves, says Carolyn Shaw, Roedean headmistress.

The value added to a child's education is rooted in their overall development.

Part of the reason that girls do so well academically at Roedean is that they have so many opportunities to lead a rich and fulfilling life outside the classroom. These activities arguably have a greater influence on their future than the academic curriculum. The latter provides the all-important entree to university, which in turn paves the way for career opportunities.

We tend to be too prescriptive with our children, to give them too many instructions. Pupils from the earliest possible age must be encouraged to be independent and make their own decisions.

The ability to work with other people in both a leading and a following capacity is a vital life skill. Schools should allow opportunities all day and every day for pupils to experience both.

Those who are what we call "natural leaders" must also learn to be supportive team members; and it is sometimes amazing how timid watchers can flourish when they are encouraged to lead. So schools add value by nurturing not just their brightest stars but by offering flexible opportunities to everyone.

Pupils benefit immeasurably when they trust and respect the staff who teach them and look after them. They learn that mistakes are valuable and create opportunities, not disasters to be ashamed of. They do not waste emotional energy on anxiety and approach their studies with energy and enthusiasm.

The best teachers have more than just knowledge: they add value to their students' academic achievement because of their absolute belief, conveyed consistently in everything they do, that each pupil is already on the way to success.

So when you are looking at schools, look out for signs of good relationships between pupils and adults; laughter and engagement in the classrooms and around the corridors; ask how easy it is to be in a team, orchestra, or appear on the stage; ask if the staff are trained in understanding pupils' behaviour and learning styles. And finally look for signs of pride in staff and pupils.

Where you find all this you will find a school where the pupils are likely to achieve their best possible academic results. But even more than that, such a school will be turning out adults who will thrive in a complex world.

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