Home page
Real life
Health features
Horoscopes
Staff blogs
Reader blogs
Bloggers
Meredith Shaw
Sandra Carey-Boggans
Phil Gardner
Sarah Whittaker
Independent education
Site Map
Search Advanced Search
Phil Gardner
Phil GardnerGone to the dogs...
Posted by Phil Gardner at 3:32pm on Tue 4 Mar 08
Sunday was of course Mother’s Day, and what better way to spend it than at Hove Greyhound Stadium, watching what appeared to be the offspring of an ungodly union between a yeti and a dish mop?

Entry to the lunchtime races is always free on a Sunday, and this weekend was no exception, but what marked this day out from the usual twelve race card was the addition of ‘The Mother’s Day Afghan Trophy,’ a one-lap race for Afghan Hounds.

Prince Harry can only dream of spending the day with a bunch of Afghans, but for me and my girlfriend it was the perfect afternoon out. Sadly my mother couldn’t make it, but she lives in Essex, so in a sense she’s already gone to the dogs.

The build-up to the arrival of the A-Team (that’s A for Afghan) included a dozen standard greyhound races, featuring dogs with names such as Wigwam Woman, Buzz Lightyear and Fizzy Nectar, plus owners like The Maroon Baboons and the Group Hug Syndicate. The grandstand was packed with mothers and their families, all of whom seemed to be having a lot more luck than I was, so having lost my cheap charity shop shirt on the first twelve races, I made my way outside for the main event on the card: The 2008 Mother’s Day Afghan Trophy. Which really ought to be sponsored by the Taliban, but isn’t.

I must admit, we'd been standing by the track for ages, looking to the left for signs of dog hair flapping in the breeze, only to realise at the last moment that the Afghans were approaching from the other direction, and were, in fact, right behind us. The way they creep up on you, it's no wonder Harry wasn't safe.

But before we knew it, the robot rabbit was released, and six hairy hounds began lolloping around the track after a day-glo bunny. I haven't laughed so much in years. And I'm still not sure how they managed to stuff them all into the starting traps - one of them was the size of a horse. Well, a Shetland Pony. In a wig.

The eventual winner was an Afghan named India, but for me the star of the show was Zak. He was described on the race card as "always consistent and guaranteed to finish". Unfortunately Zak hadn’t read the race card and, having gone halfway around the track in last place, he decided to give up, hop over the fence, and start frolicking about on the grass, waiting for someone to throw him a stick. Not quite the model of consistency we were promised.

You had to admire his tactics, though. Having sat out most of the contest on the other side of the stadium, acting like he was down the park on a Sunday afternoon, the race eventually finished and the rabbit came back around to where Zak was standing. At which point he jumped on it. I see that as a moral victory. The judges saw it as more of a disqualification. It's all a matter of opinion.

Ultimately though, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Afghan Racing first-hand. The whole event was top quality entertainment, and the funniest thing I've seen outside of an episode of You've Been Framed. Bring on the camel racing for Father’s Day, that’s what I say.
Share this post on: Digg | del.icio.us | Furl | reddit | NowPublic | Yahoo!
Add your comment
Your name
Your email address *
**
Security Image. Registered site users are not required to enter Security Image Information.
 
 e.g. 123-123
Your comment
Please note: All HTML tags will be ignored.
Format Text:

 
* Your email address will not be displayed
Comments are unmoderated, but you must abide by our terms of use. We will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention and we may delete inappropriate postings. Please treat other people with respect. You must not post anything that is abusive, indecent, unlawful or defamatory. Remember, you are personally liable for what you post on this site. If you wish to complain about a comment, contact us here.
Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here.
Udderbelly webcam'
RSS
Add this channel to My Yahoo!
Add this channel to My MSN!
What is RSS?
About this blog
Bloggers
Phil Gardner
Brighton for free
Recent Entries
MAY
SMTWTFS
....123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
More
Terms & Conditions
Privacy Policy © Copyright 2001-2008
Newsquest Media Group
A Gannett Company
This site is part of Newsquest's audited local newspaper network