Women who choose cats over kids or men

3:45pm Friday 7th September 2007

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With more single women than ever before turning to pets rather than long-term partners for love and affection, Ruth Addicott tracked down three women in Sussex who, if push came to shove, would choose their cats over men

Donna Evans, 47, a single mum from Haywards Heath, has eight cats: Jamie, Kohl, Mitzi, Maggie, Big Cat, Willum, Pickle and TC (short for Tabby Cat)

Donna has always had cats, since she was a child, and while eight may sound like a houseful to some, try living with 64. "I had a large house with a large garden that backed onto a field and we had 64 cats in the enclosure outside," she explains. "It was a case of trays of food then rather than dishes." That said, when it comes to men or the moggies, Donna is in no doubt.

"It was easier living with 64 cats than my ex in every way," she says, without hesitating. "They don't complain at meal-times, they don't criticise and they love you for all your shortcomings.

No matter how you feel about yourself, your cat will love you regardless, whereas blokes have got such an attitude sometimes."

While her cats don't complain about the food, Donna has given them a lot of love and care in return. Nearly all of them have been through the wars (two are three-legged) and she has gone the extra mile both emotionally and financially nursing them back to health.

They each have their own tale of triumph over tragedy to tell. If only they could talk.

"Jamie's eyes were sealed shut with an infection when I found him," she says. "He seems to have no sense of taste and walks on three legs after being knocked down by a car." (The op on his leg came to £1,800 alone.) "He really does look a state but he hasn't got a vicious bone in his body. He's my Jamie," she says fondly.

Big Cat is also three legged but miraculously still manages to jump up a 5ft fence in the garden to sit in a plant trough on the shed roof.

Kohl, meanwhile, had his back leg pinned and ear sewn back together after an accident.

Willum was found under a hedge and looks permanently confused, while Pickle is always "in a rush" and hasn't got time for anything.

Fortunately, it's not a case of claws at dawn, there aren't many hissy fits and they all get on. (Maggie is absolutely devoted to Big Cat, who in turn uses her as a "wash post".) While the odd mouse being dropped on the kitchen floor is to be expected, Donna has had a few other surprises over the years.

"You don't mind the odd rat but when your cat is bringing home nine of them in one night you do start to worry," she says..

"I got up one morning and found nine rats dumped on the kitchen floor. It was like mass murder. I thought I've either got suicidal rats or a serious problem on my hands." After a swift investigation, it turned out a nearby graveyard was being cleared for the first time in years, leaving the cats free to pounce on the rats.

Given that cats are independant by nature, Donna makes a point of allowing them the freedom to stroll around the house and they sleep all over the place.

"Quite often I've woken up and had six on the bed," she says. "One of them has even commandeered the pillow. He sits at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me to go to bed. Then he follows me up and sits in his spot next to the pillow.

"But they're my cats - I have respect for them and they have respect for me." Asked whether she thinks the cats might put off a potential partner, she says: "I don't particularly need a man in my life. It probably would put blokes off but it doesn't bother me. I have my friends but I can't put myself through any more hurt as far as men are concerned." Donna is keen to stress that her house is spectactularly clean and she keeps on top of the cat fur on a regular basis.

She has spent thousands on vet bills, tinned food and scratch posts and says she has pet houses (or "Scratching Activity Centres" as they are now called) coming out of her ears.

Asked why she thinks more single women than ever are choosing cats over long-term partners, she says: "It must be a strong, nurturing, caring and loving trait that women have.

The majority of women I know who have cats don't have a partner." She adds: "It's definitely easier living with eight cats than a bloke."

Barbaran Whitewood, 64, lives in Uckfield and has four cats: Mitzi, Meggie, Kismet and Twiglet

Barbaran has kept cats for 17 years, her husband is a cat lover and even her daughter Maria has eight cats of her own.

"If push came to shove I'd probably prefer pets to people," she says.

Barbaran dotes on all her cats, all of whom have their own unique characteristics. Kismit hisses at everyone and will only sit on Barabaran, while Mitzi prefers a man's lap.

"Mitzi can be very moody and possessive with my husband," says Barbaran.

"She washes his beard and won't let the other cats anywhere near him. He gets fed up sometimes but takes it in good humour." Meggie, the biggest, is "a bit over-weight" and eats anything going and Twiglet, the youngest, walks with a limp.

Barbaran has had to deal with all sorts of deposits at the door, including a grass snake which was pushed through the cat flap still alive.

"I went stiff because I hate the things," she says.

"I used to have a cat called Pepe and he tried to bring the grass snake in.

It was a good foot long and still alive and he came up to the back door with it hanging down from each side of his mouth. I phoned my husband who was at work and he said, 'what do you expect me to do?'. So I locked the back door and had to wait until he came home to take it down the field."

The grass snake wasn't the only "gift". "He came home once with a moorhen," she adds. "It was half the size of a chicken and he came swaggering up the path looking really proud as if to say 'look what I've got'." Barbaran confesses she has probably spent thousands on her cats, who sleep together in the conservatory overnight.

"They're not allowed upstairs because they leave cat hair all over the beds," she says, firmly.

As strong as Barbaran's marriage is, however, the cats take priority when it comes to meal times.

"I always make sure their bowls are full before we sit down to dinner," she says. "They're part of the family."

Dorie Smith, 35, lives near Rye and has eight cats: Curley, Penfold, Fluffy, Toots, Ricky, Peter, Baby and Tinsel

Living next door to the Celia Hammond Animal Trust which houses more than 100 cats (all in need of homes), Dorie spends her life surrounded by cats.

She works at the rescue centre on a daily basis and has six cats of her own plus two that she fosters.

"I'd put my cats before a partner any day," she says. "And if it was a case of having a partner or cats, I'd choose the cats. Once you've got an animal, you have to look after it for life." Dorie has a soft spot for all of her cats, who have an extraordinary list of ailments between them.

Baby has got one eye and is agoraphobic "but always gets the best place on the bed". Toots is "really small but like a guard dog" and is partial to Amy Winehouse. And Ricky dozes off on top of the telly then rolls off.

"We think he sees ghosts," explains Dorie.

"He also goes on a rampage in the middle of the night, jumping on your head or attacking your feet if your toes are poking out the end of the quilt." As for Peter, he's only got one ear that works and a permanent head tilt. He sleeps with one eye open and has a habit of "humping" soft toys.

Tinsel likes to watch TV and had a tendency to hit the screen with his paw every time Jade Goody appeared on Big Brother.

Penfold was mauled by a dog and has severe spinal injuries "but is gradually getting better", Curley (Toots' brother) had to have an operation on his chin and has no teeth, and Fluffy has a problem with his bowels.

"We are frequently woken up by traumatic smells in the night," says Dorie. "He's ancient. He's over 20 and has really long hair. He hates being combed and swipes the other cats for the rest of the day if he's been brushed."

Dorie admits the bedroom does get a bit crowded on occasion. "Sometimes there is not enough room in the bed and you end up sleeping in strange positons around the cats with dead legs," she says.

"Baby also has a habit of stroking your face with her claws in the night which can be disconcerting. It's really comforting to hear them all purring though, it's so peaceful."

Unfortunately, the peace doesn't last long and if it's not Ricky skating around in the bath or Ricky in the knicker drawer flicking her pants out one by one, she is woken up by Tinsel lying flat out on her head.

"I probably won't have any more," admits Dorie. "But I couldn't be in a relationship with anyone who didn't like animals."

Asked what kind of impact she thinks owning so many cats could have on potential relationships, she says: "In my experience, women tend to like cats more than men. It's probably because men want all the attention and can't cope with it going to anyone else."

Although she has never had children of her own, as long as she has her cats for company, toddler tantrums are not something she is craving either.

"At the moment, I definitely prefer cats to having kids," she says. "They're certainly a lot cleaner."

The facts: (Research from online dating agency PARSHIP)

• One in four men wouldn't date a woman with two or more cats
• Nearly half of Britain's singles own a pet- 6.1 million people
• Singles spend £5.6 billion each year pampering their pets
• Owning a pet can reduce your chances of finding love by as much as 40 per cent
• A third of women won't date a man who shares his pillow with a pet
• If push came to shove, 25 per cent of singles would choose their pet over a new partner

Would you put your pet before a partner or children?Leave your views below.