There's nothing sleazy about The Lanes' classy erotic boutique She Said. These days the traditional dirty weekend in Brighton' is more about glamour, gorgeous gifts and showing you care than anonymous rooms and the
odd foray out for fish and chips.
Ruth Addicott meets the boutique's owner Nic Ramsey to find out what's hot for a sexy break by the seaside and just how some new weekenders manage to spend £3,000 in one go
Brighton has long held the
accolade of being the place to head
for a dirty weekend.
There was a time when the promise
of a cheap B&B, polyester sheets and
wood-chip wallpaper would suffice -
but not any more.
With a growing number of people
prepared to pay up to £3,000 a night
for whirring love balls and crystalencrusted
bras and corsets, the dirty
weekend in Brighton has turned into
a full-on glamorous affair.
Central to all the excitement is posh
boutique She Said, tucked discreetly
down a narrow little alley in the heart
of The Lanes. Manager Nic Ramsey
had an inkling there was a gap in the
market when she opened the shop
in 2002, but she had no idea then just
how adventurous her customers
would become.
"I wanted to have my own business
and travelled the streets of Brighton to
find something that was missing," she
says. "Brighton has always had
a reputation for being a fun place to
visit with the dirty weekend' crowd
and someone said Why don't you open
a sex shop?' "
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The idea immediately conjured up
images of a dingy shop with a telly in
the corner watched by a man in
a string vest and Nic was horrified to
have her fears confirmed when she did
her research.
Determined to do something rather
different, she resolved to open an erotic
boutique for women - where they could
feel good about themselves and be
empowered to spice up their love life.
She Said has moved on since the
early days when it sold corsets made of
metal and lots of latex.
While there are still enough leather
contraptions to make your eyes water,
the shop has now ventured into more
glamorous territory, attracting couples
for whom money is no object when it
comes to seducing a loved one.
There is no multi-coloured curtain in
the doorway to keep flies out, the decor
in this sex shop is sassy, chic and
upmarket.
The latest collection has everything
from bejewelled bras and nipple tassles
to a £1,000 crystal-encrusted corset with
peacock feathers at the back.
"Someone could wear it down the
aisle for an alternative wedding or
wear it with a pencil skirt," suggests
Nic. "We like to sell one-off or limitededitions
so customers can buy a dress
safe in the knowledge they can turn
up to a party and there'll be no one
there in anything similar."
While the price, let alone accessories,
might be a bit too steep for some, Nic
insists the demand is there.
As she points out: "If I'd opened
a nice ordinary lingerie shop we would
have closed down by now."
Boosted by the trend for burlesque,
Nic now plans to expand and open
a new boutique next door in the new
year. In addition to the cobra whips,
crystal dildos and "beautifully crafted"
hand-made floggers, she says there is
growing demand for cocktail dresses.
The new year is expected to bring
a host of new gowns by designers such
as Betsey Johnson and Australian
brand Wheels & Doll Baby - a favourite
of Dita von Teese.
Aiming to create an "emporium",
Nic says customers will be able to live
out their fantasies and create an entire
outfit, props and all.
Apart from a neon pink Penelope
Pitstop uniform, the strangest request
Nic has had to date was from a bride-tobe.
"One lady wanted lime green and
lilac knickers to wear on her wedding
night," she recalls. "She was very
specific about the colour, it had to be
the exact shade of lime and the exact
shade of lilac and they had to be made
from handmade silk. I think she paid
about £70 for them. People have some
very unusual ideas."
Customer confidentiality is crucial
in this business - as is a 24/7 approach.
A lot of the regular customers have her
mobile on speed dial and phone the
minute they're in town to place their
order. Even Nic has been surprised by
some of the lengths men will go to
seduce their girlfriends.
"Quite a few customers have my
mobile," she says. "They'll say
something like I want three amazing
underwear sets for my girlfriend'
and I'll often have things delivered to
their room. We've taken £1,000-worth
of clothes to hotel rooms before,
laid out candles and scattered petals
over the bed."
One guy went to the trouble of
organising a treasure hunt for his
girlfriend. She spent several days
trying to track down the clues before
ending up at She Said, where he'd set
aside £800 in cash. "They'd passed the
shop a long time ago when it was closed
and she said she'd love to have a corset
so he'd decided to treat her," says Nic.
Another couple splashed out
a staggering £3,000 in one afternoon.
"Ironically it was the day it snowed,"
Nic recalls. "It was freezing cold.
I thought absolutely nobody is going
to buy anything, I might as well close
the shop. I popped out for a minute
and there was a note on the door when
I got back from two of our regular
customers saying We're in the Coach
House'. I went to find them and they
came back to the shop and spent
£3,000."
In addition to bridal corsets (not
everyone wants to get married in
a white dress, as Nic points out), there
are customers prepared to pay £250 on
a crystal-encrusted bra or crystalencrusted
crop with barbed-wire
strands.
Asked who would have a need for
a barbed-wire crop, she says: "You'd
be surprised. We have all kinds of
customers. We've had local people,
couples who come down to Brighton on
a romantic weekend, stylists, celebrities
and loads of politicians."
Nic is understandably cagey but
claims there are plenty of "straight"
men in Brighton with a penchant for
wearing frilly knickers.
"It is almost always the type of guy
you'd be more than happy to chat to at
a party," she says. "Men often come in
and say, It's not fair. Women get all the
lovely silk and lace underwear and
what do we get?"
A posing pouch or Y-fronts.
"I've had men come in and pay
£40 for a silk negligee to impress their
girlfriend and more often than not,
it's baby pink."
Nic is highly protective of these
customers. What she will say is they're
usually well spoken, well presented
and range in age from 18 to 60. She is
also keen to stress they are in the
minority, in case the more blokey
clients are scared to be seen with
a carrier bag.
Due to the sensitive nature of
choosing a pair of pants (particularly
if they're sporting peacock feathers),
Nic also opens after hours so customers
can browse in private.
"A lot of people have strange
quirks," she says. "I'm sure there
are people out there who get off on
Sellotape so why should it be considered
strange for a man to like wearing
some lovely silk knickers?"
As popular as the shop is with men,
the best-selling items by far are the
"sexy date" knickers for women. They
cost £29 a pair and come in every shade
imaginable from hot pink to lime green.
"They are the best sexy knickers
you can show on a first date because
they look normal at the front and are
slightly racy at the back," says Nic.
Other big sellers are the nipple
tassles (the shop sells 20 pairs a week,
ranging in price from £20 to £120) and
corsets - a firm favourite because they
are a miracle cure for the tummy.
"Women love the corsets because
they know they look good in them and
they get an amazing response from
their partners," says Nic. "There's
something about tinkering with the
hip-to-waist ratio. Men have this
caveman attitude. They can't cope
when they see a woman in a corset, it
drives them wild."
Having been exposed to all sorts of
bizarre gadgets (including a device
which enables women to pee in public
whilst retaining their dignity), there
is little that embarrasses Nic. One or
two of her customers however, haven't
been so lucky. Nic recalls one episode
quite clearly.
"We used to have a leather love
swing in the basement and one
customer went down to sit in it and try
it out with her husband. She was fully
clothed but had her legs akimbo in the
two stirrups when down the stairs
walked her daughter's teacher. That
was quite embarrassing."
Although she is bombarded with
freebies on a daily basis, Nic is quite
selective about what she takes home.
Apart from a crystal-encrusted flogger,
her most treasured item is a beautiful
red silk corset trimmed with black silk
chiffon, flowers, beads and antique
lace. It's worth about £500 and took
pride of place in the shop window when
it first opened.
"I loved that corset so much,
I couldn't bear to part with it," she says.
"It didn't fit me until very recently. I
have it on a mannequin in my bedroom
and I lend it out to friends on very
special occasions. Someone has been
married in it."
Confidence plays a big part in
relationships, according to Nic, and she
is forever seeing women who are so
obsessed with their own body image,
they forget about their man.
"Quite often it's the ones who have
near perfect bodies who are the worst,"
she says. "Women who are big and
voluptuous don't care, they're happy
and they look good because they feel
good.
"A lot of customers think they're not
enough for their partners and that they
have to do what women in porn films do
- but that's rubbish. That's not what
men want at all. In my opinion men
really appreciate a confident woman -
whether it's a naughty dance or putting
on some amazing underwear."
Given the nature of the business, Nic
often finds herself taking on a double
role of agony aunt and listening to the
minutiae of people's sex lives.
One of her most heartwarming
moments to date was when a lady came
in with her baby. "She put her newborn
baby in my arms and said, Thank you.
You have made this baby possible'. It
turned out she'd been on the verge of
splitting up with her husband - they
weren't speaking and their sex life
was non-existent.
"I encouraged her to wear nice
underwear and feel good about herself
and eventually she started taking
an interest in her partner again.
Meeting that baby was one of the best
moments of my life."
She Said is at 11 Ship Street
Gardens, The Lanes, Brighton.
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