Jordan Lancaster of Haywards Heath had always dreamed of having a big family.
But after splitting up with her fiance and finding herself suddenly single in her 40s, her
life took an unexpected turn.
Ruth Addicott listens to her extraordinary story and
learns how a random taxi ride in Bethlehem significantly changed her life
"We paddled in the water,
wrote our names in the sand and
ate too much ice cream," recalls
author and peacekeeper Jordan
Lancaster from her home in
Haywards Heath.
While the scene she is describing
could quite easily be a family on
Brighton beach, the children in this
case were from Bethlehem. Living
amid poverty and political unrest just
one hour from the coast, it was the first
time they had ever seen the sea.
Jordan's story begins in 2006.
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Following a break-up with her fiance
and suddenly single in her 40s, she
decided to go on a trip to The Holy
Land. It was her first visit to the West
Bank and her first night in Bethlehem
when a member of the group she was
with suddenly collapsed in the street.
The man had developed a stomach
tumour and needed emergency surgery
so Jordan accompanied him to the
hospital. After ensuring he was in
a stable condition, she caught a taxi
back to re-join the rest of the group -
and it was this taxi ride, she says, that
changed her life.
"I found myself in a cab with
a random Middle Eastern taxi driver,"
she explains. "We started chatting
and he told me he was a Christian and
a very proud father of five."
The taxi driver was called Ibrahim
Tanas and, knowing she'd have to go
back to the hospital again later that
night, Jordan asked if he would drive
her. Not only did he turn up as planned,
Ibrahim arrived 15 minutes early with
his wife and five children - still wearing
their pyjamas.
"I wasn't quite ready," recalls
Jordan. "But he insisted on taking me
out to his cab to meet his family. He
explained that when he'd got home and
told them he'd had a passenger from
Europe, they'd got really excited. The
children had never seen a Christian
lady from Europe before and had
refused to settle until they saw her."
Bethlehem had been under military
occupation since 2000, bringing
tourism to a virtual standstill. Then, in
2004, the Israelis built a 30ft security
wall around the town, leaving a community
of 8,000 Christians - including
the Tanas family - almost completely
cut off from the outside world.
Being among the first groups of
tourists to flow back into the town,
Jordan had caused an unexpected stir.
The children were enamoured with her
straightaway and, as Jordan says, the
feeling was mutual.
After a week of being ferried back
and forth to the hospital while her
companion Billy recovered, Ibrahim
invited her to his home for a meal with
his wife Nisreen and children (Louis,
12, Rolana, ten, Laureen, eight, Taline,
six and George, two). Like so many
other families in Bethlehem, they lived
in extreme poverty. There was no
furniture to speak of and the children
slept on two single mattresses on the
floor. Nisreen washed all the clothes for
a family of seven by hand in the bath
tub and they struggled to pay their
electricity bills, having to rely, like
everyone else, on credit to buy food.
As the streets weren't safe for the
children to play outside, they amused
themselves indoors. Jordan recalls one
of their favourite activities being
a game of "check-point" - where one
child acts as a soldier and barks orders
at the others to empty their pockets,
take off their shoes and belts and
extend their arms for a full body search.
"It's not an environment you'd like
to bring children up in," she observes.
"Yet they are the most happy family
you can imagine. They are the
unfortunate bystanders in a terrible
situation. They realise the only thing
which can't be affected is their family
and they make the most of that."
One of the daughters, Taline,
was born at the height of the second
uprising and, as Jordan points out, she
does not know a world without extreme
unrest and political tension.
Inspired by their warmth and lust for
life in the face of adversity, Jordan
wanted to help in as many ways as she
could. Discovering they had never been
to the beach, despite being just an hour
from the coast, she used her British
passport and took the children on a trip
to the seaside. They only had 26 words
of shared vocabulary - mostly numbers
and greetings - and understood each
other with a gesture, glance or smile.
She says it was one of those days that
"truly epitomises a carefree childhood"
and has a framed photograph to
remember it in her lounge to this day.
Given the shortage of decent schools,
Jordan also offered to help with their
education, paying £240 a year for each
child to go to a good school. She helped
fund the school library and set up
the registered charity Terra Sancta
Education, enabling Christian children
to attend the local Terra Sancta College
through a bursary. Jordan points out it
is not cash handouts that are needed
but everyday things, such as secondhand
books, toys and computers.
"It costs £240 a year for a child to go
to a good school with a big playground
and an open and positive atmosphere,"
she says.
"I could easily go into Brighton,
wander around and spend that on
a handbag - but for what? I might
look nicer going out for a meal at the
end of the day but when there's
a family out there for whom it could
make a huge difference, there is no
comparison.
"You meet a ten-year-old here and
they've already been on an aeroplane,"
she notes. "These little kids don't even
have bikes to ride."
While being successful in ending the
worst wave of suicide bombings in
Israel in recent years, the security
wall has caused huge difficulties
for Palestinians travelling to work,
visiting relatives and even reaching
the hospitals for emergency treatment.
When Taline's baby brother George
fell and cut his face requiring stitches,
he had to go to an Israeli hospital in
Jerusalem, which meant that during
his two-day stay in hospital his own
mother and father, who do not have
papers to travel through the wall, were
unable to be at his side.
The worst thing about living in
Bethlehem, according to Jordan is the
lack of freedom. "It is basically an openair
prison," she says. "These are people
with no money, no work and no chance
of leaving. Tempers are frayed and if
the families know they have got a
friend, it can sometimes be all they
need to release some of the tension."
In spite of a demanding job as
a translator and interpreter in London,
Jordan has been back to the Holy Land
four times, including last month when
she took 12 volunteers. It was on this
trip she stumbled upon a tiny orphanage
- her next project -in the small
town of Anjara in the north of Jordan.
"There were eight children there and
they had all been abandoned," she says.
"Each one had a tragic story, including
three sisters whose mother had become
terminally ill with cancer and was no
longer able to look after them. Their
father had got a green card and fled to
America and the little girls were left to
fend for themselves."
The orphanage had been set up by
a local priest and three nuns to save
the children from living on the streets,
and they were relying on donations
to keep it going.
"The children had no toys, they were
playing with grubby balloons," says
Jordan. "I took them to the shop and let
them buy crisps and drinks. Then, as
we were leaving, one of the little girls
ran up to me and gave me her balloon.
What an amazing need to be loved to
want to give the only toy you have in
the world to a complete stranger."
In spite of their circumstances, one
of the things which struck Jordan most
about the Holy Land was the generosity
of the people - whatever their faith.
"What Palestinians and Israelis all
have in common is they are very family
orientated. They have a culture of
hospitality which is amazing," she
says. "I've lived in Haywards Heath
for two years and it's a bedroom
community, I barely know the names
of my neighbours."
Jordan was invited to the home of
a rabbi to celebrate a Jewish festival,
as well as to the home of a Muslim
family to celebrate Ramadan and says
she was made to feel just as welcome
in both, with home-cooked food and
embroidered gifts.
In a separate bid to promote the idea
of peace, she also took part in a 10km
run in Bethlehem. Seeing Christians,
Jews and Muslims publicly running
alongside each other for peace through
military barriers where they would
normally have been shot, was hugely
symbolic, she says.
"I'm not interested in politics or
supporting the Palestinian cause," she
adds. "What I am interested in is
helping children live safely and
securely. If we give the children
the encouragement, friendship and
support they need, hopefully they will
grow up and become a voice of peace."
While her support has inevitably had
an impact on the children in
Bethlehem, Jordan says she also can't
imagine a life without them. Furthermore,
she believes none of it would
have been possible if she hadn't have
split up with her fiance.
"Being single is a gift because you're
free to do so many things," she says.
"Everyone is under pressure to find
a partner these days, but if there's one
thing my time in Bethlehem has
taught me it's that the world needs
single people.
"All my life it was my dream to get
married and have five children. It was
awful when I broke up with my fiance.
Everyone was pairing off around
me and I went to all their weddings
knowing I was going into my 40s
without a husband or family I could
call my own. I could have spent my
life savings on IVF treatment trying
to have a baby. I could have spent
hours on the net looking for my perfect
match - but I didn't.
"I chose to spend my time helping
others and, in doing so, the children
I have met along the way have become
like my own.
"I look back now and think how
lucky I've been. It's not a case of being
left on the shelf' like Bridget Jones. It's
a blessing being single and people
should make the most of it by getting
out there and making a difference."
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