Tears, tantrums and embarrassing scenes in Tesco - in the run up to Mother's Day, Ruth Addicott talks to the star-studded cast of popular comedy show
Mum's The Word about their own traumatic, amusing and heart-warming experiences of having children
PAULINE FLEMING
Pauline, 48, divorced, lives in
Liverpool with her two cats, two
dogs and daughter, Cornelia, 17.
She has starred in a number of
stage shows, such as The Vagina
Monologues, as well as TV roles in
Coronation Street and Brookside.
Pauline was 30 when she had
Cornelia and certainly had her share
of tears and tantrums.
"Cornelia didn't sleep for two years
so neither did I," she says. "I felt I must
have done something really bad in
a past life to deserve it. I used to rock
her and rock her and in the end she'd
just end up sleeping with me for the
night. It took me years to get over. I was
totally and utterly exhausted."
Both Pauline's parents had died by
the time Cornelia was four and her
marriage was over by the time her
daughter was five, so she suddenly
found herself battling through as
a single parent.
advertisement
In a bid to regain some normality and
ease the financial pressures, she took
a part in panto and went back to work
when Cornelia was six months old.
"It just absolutely knackered me,"
she says. "I was playing about eight
different parts and we had two shows
a day - every day. I also breastfed her
for six months and weaned her during
the rehearsals, and not sleeping, it
wore me out completely ."
On top of that, another slice of
motherhood she hadn't quite
bargained for was the toddler
tantrums.
"Cornelia used to throw
herself on the floor in very
public places and scream and
kick and no matter who tried
to calm her down, it never
worked," she recalls.
"We could be in a department
store or in a stately
home walking around
beautiful gardens on
a summer's day and she
could throw a tantrum for
half an hour and wouldn't
stop. I dragged her across
Tatton Park with her holding
onto my ankles once because
I couldn't do anything."
After years of uncontrollable
strops, Pauline finally found
a way to put a stop to them - by
mimicking her actions.
"I'd impersonate her,"
she says, simply. "She'd
start off by stamping her
feet so as soon as I saw
a tantrum welling up,
I would mirror it and it
would make her laugh.
Over time they stopped
because she could
see how funny she
looked when she was
doing it. It was sheer
desperation."
The only time
Pauline felt she
was beginning to
get her life
back was when
Cornelia started
school - a social
outlet which
had generally worn her out by the time
she came home.
"I think it has been very lonely for
her at times and, as a mother, you
take on your child's pain," she says.
"When you've struggled and struggled
together, any achievements are really
great achievements."
She recalls the moment her daughter
passed her first piano exam, eventually
getting to Grade 5; she cites the time
she passed her GCSEs against the
odds to get into a better school to do her
A-levels; and, more recently, passing
her driving test. "Each one was
a great achievement and we shared
that together," she says.
While Pauline is the first to
acknowledge her daughter was "a far
better" teenager than a baby, they
still have their occasional bust-ups -
Cornelia booking a holiday to Zante
being one.
"As soon as she told me, I knew
I'd end up paying and, lo and behold,
I'm doing it," says Pauline. "I would
never have done that to my mum, never
in a million years."
In spite of that, they are incredibly
close. One of their favourite rituals
being sushi and shopping at the
Trafford Centre.
With hindsight, asked what was
the biggest shock of all about becoming
a mum, Pauline says: "The love I felt,
actually, from
the minute she
was born. It
completely
overwhelmed
me."
SARAH WHITE
Sarah, 38, famous for her role of
Bev McLoughlin in the former
Channel 4 soap Brookside, has
a six-year-old daughter Ruby and
one-year-old son Theo.
Like the character she plays in
Mum's The Word, Deborah, Sarah
didn't take to motherhood very easily
- or quietly. She was 32 when she had
Ruby and in no way prepared for what
was in store.
"No one tells you about the milk
pouring from your breasts or the
random long hairs that start growing
out of your neck and chin," she says,
matter of factly. "And no one warns
you about the veins on your breasts
that make them look like blue cheese."
She goes on to recount the tale of
a friend whose ankles swelled "to the
size of her thighs" and who had to wear
extra-large flip flops. "They got even
bigger once she'd had the baby," she
notes. "You forget all this because
if you remembered everything, you
wouldn't have any more."
One of the biggest challenges for
Sarah was not only breastfeeding, but
finding a suitable place to do it.
"My breasts became so huge it was
a case of getting one out and then
positioning yourself around it," she
says. "The only place I could shop
was the Trafford Centre in Manchester
and I spent most of the time in the
mother and baby room."
Although she says her children are
"annoyingly" well behaved, there have
been times she has wished she was
somewhere else, such as the episode
on the bus when, pointing
to the person sitting
next to them, Ruby
piped up: "Is that a
man or a woman?"
There are few
things mother
and daughter
disagree on. If
anything, their main bone of
contention is the TV programme Tracy
Beaker. According to Sarah, the
main character is "a bit lippy" and
whenever Ruby watches it she seems
to morph into her.
She is also having to contend with
Ruby's newly-discovered sense of
irony. "Ruby rang me the other day
and said, I've got some very bad news.
You're going to be very, very
annoyed'," explains Sarah. "So I sat
down and said, OK. What is it?' and
she said: "Well, you know my spelling
test today? I got ten out of ten!"
Apart from her occasional wind-ups,
Ruby's other penchant is for walking
around the house in her swimming
costume and sari (her father is Indian).
"Even if it's freezing in February, she'll
say, Mummy, can I put my swimming
costume on?' and I'll say, Oh, all right
then.' She even likes wearing it in the
bath," says Sarah.
As far as little Theo is concerned,
as long as he has an In The Night
Garden toy under his arm and a full
stomach ("a typical man"), he's
perfectly content.
Like most women, Sarah has also
had to juggle bringing up kids with
her career.
She went back to work part time on
Brookside when Ruby was four months
old (they had a nursery on set) and she
believes the fact she had an outlet for
some "grown-up" conversation, made
her appreciate being a mum even more.
That said, she is as conscious as
anyone of the time her job takes up.
Last year, she spent six months working
away and six months at home with
her children. While she's away
they are with their Dad.
Until May, while she's on
tour with Mum's The
Word, Sarah sees
them once a week.
"It is hard
because you can't
always go home
and on the
day you do see
them there's
a lot more
pressure to
have fun. At
the end of
the day, the
only person
you've got
to answer to
is yourself,"
she says.
BERNIE NOLAN
Having gained huge
success as lead singer
of The Nolans and
numerous TV credits,
including Brookside
and The Bill, Bernie
Nolan, 47, had
virtually given up on
the idea of having
children by the time
she reached her 30s.
"I always said I'd like
kids in the future -
then when I got to 35
and still hadn't met
anybody who was
right, I thought
Oh, forget it, I'll just
be the fun aunt',"
she says.
A year later, however,
at 36, Bernie married
her husband Steve and
at 38, she had her
daughter Erin.
Apart from the first
month of breastfeeding
("I bled,
I cried, I screamed and
everyone said, Give
her a bottle!' but I
refused"), one of the hardest
things she found to come to terms
with were holidays.
"They don't exist when you're
a mum. Well, they do, but you
have to go and eat in childfriendly
restaurants," she
observes. "I remember my
husband saying, I can't believe
we're on holiday, surrounded by
kids - other people's kids!'"
Bernie firmly believes the only
way to have a holiday with
children is to take it in turns to
keep them occupied - she'd
sunbathe and read for an hour
then they'd swap. "I don't know
how single parents do it," she
says. "It's a very hard job."
Bernie has no desire to aspire
to the "supermum" stereotype
and claims the single most
important thing is spending time
with your child.
"If that means forsaking the
ironing for the day to take them
out in the sunshine, that's what
I do. My house isn't a show
home, it's a normal family home
and sometimes a complete
mess," she says.
Although she was always quite
strict with Erin when she was
a baby, now that she's eight,
Bernie admits she is becoming
softer. "Erin is a really good kid
but she can also have her
moments of being an absolute
brat," she muses.
"She was never really bothered
about me being on telly. It didn't
impress her at all. We were in a
queue at Tesco once, she was only
about six or seven, and at the top
of her voice she said, What's it
like being in The Bill, mum?' The
next minute the whole shop was
over. It was really embarrassing."
Erin has also inherited her
mother's straight-talking Irish
temperment. "She said to me one
day when I was trying to lose
weight and do a fitness DVD,
Mum! You're pregnant again!".
I said, "No, I'm not" and she said,
Oh, you're just fat then?" I
thought, that's great, thanks for
that Erin. We do laugh a lot
together, though."
Bernie first fell pregnant in 1997
but, tragically, in May the
following year, her little baby,
Kate, died at birth. "I don't know
how I got through it. I just did,
day by day," she says. "I somehow
just had to accept it and move on,
but it was very, very difficult."
Shortly afterwards she discovered
she was pregnant again with
Erin, but two years later she
suffered a further loss in the form
of a miscarriage.
"The day I had the miscarriage we
were moving house," she recalls.
"So we had to go down and say to
the builders, Look we've just had
some bad news, can you give us a
minute'. I went up into the
bedroom and just collapsed onto
my knees crying and Erin came
over. She was only two at the time
and she put her arms around me
and she said, Don't worry, Mum,
he's with Kate now'. Then she
said, And you've got me.' It was
really comforting and it stopped
me crying. I got on with the day,
we moved house and I thought,
It is OK, I've got her and she's
fantastic'. What fabulous insight
for a kid of two."
MUM'S THE WORD is an award-winning theatre
piece written by six women who have endured the
agonies and ecstasies of parenting. A funny and
poignant play, it deals with all aspects of bringing up kids and
has been a smash hit in the UK as well in the US and Australia.
Mum's The Word is at Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne,
from Monday, March 10 to Saturday, March 15. Tickets £13.50 to
£19.50. Call 01323 412000 or visit www.eastbournetheatres.co.ukw
How about you? Have your children embarrassed you in the supermarket - or given you proud moments? Tell us below
If you liked this article and would like to share it with others on the web who might be searching for good content we've made it easy for you to do it.
At the bottom of all articles, you'll see links to six sites. These sites - commonly called 'social bookmark' or 'social news' sites - have large communities of web users who share and rate interesting, useful and fun things on the web.
Clicking the links will automatically add the address of the story you are reading to one of these sites, letting you share it with others. Each site will ask you to register to share stories. Registration is free and once a member, you can store, recommend and search for stories that interest you.
Print
Email this
Comment
