Career as a novelist is icing on the cake (From The Argus)

Career as a novelist is icing on the cake

4:04pm Monday 30th July 2012 in Interview By Nione Meakin

She’s a comedian,
broadcaster, Grumpy
Old Woman, former
Loose Woman, and
committed peroxide blonde.
But it’s as an author Jenny
Eclair wants to be known.
Life, Death And Vanilla
Slices is her third novel and
she’s determined to get it the
publicity it deserves. “I think
it’s brilliant – I think all my
books are rather brilliant –
but the trouble is you write
something you’re proud of
and you expect the world to
stop and applaud you and say
you’re the most incredible
female writer, and that doesn’t
necessarily happen. There are
a lot of middle-aged women
writing books and few of us
get the attention we’d like.”
Eclair has also had to
contend with her public profile.
Despite the good reception
her novels have received, being
best known for comedy means
people jump to the conclusion
her novel-writing must be
“part-time and s***”, she
says. They also assume her
books will be funny but Life,
Death And Vanilla Slices
features a mother in a coma,
two estranged sisters and
various family skeletons
lurching out of cupboards.
She’d have preferred
a more sinisterlooking
cover
(instead,
there’s a
photo of
the titular
cream
cakes)
and she
even
toyed
with the
idea of
writing
under a
pseudonym.
Her
publishers
wouldn’t hear of
either, however, and, as she sighs,
“I can’t control everything.”
Despite her success in other
fields – she was famously the
first woman to win the Perrier
award – Eclair is most proud
of her writing. “It was such an
unlikely career for me. When
you grow up as a teenager
and you’re not considered
particularly academic, it’s
quite satisfying 30 years later
to have published novels on
your shelves.” Stand-up is a
“miserable thing to write” but
she describes novel-writing as
“very cosy. Once you’ve got
the story, it’s like stepping
through the wardrobe into
Narnia. With stand-up, it
can be days or even weeks
of trying to write one joke.”
One senses she is keen to
develop this strand of her
career for other reasons besides.
“I’m 52 and the rumours
are that it’s at 55
you stop being
counted. I
think I’m
on the
cusp of
disappearing.”
That’s
surely
unlikely?
“Well,
from the
telly perhaps,
and telly is the
easiest thing to do.
Everything else is hard work
and I’ve been doing that for 30
years! I want a nice cushy job.”
She had one, too. But her
year-long stint as a panellist
on ITV’s Loose Women –
which she describes as “one
of the easiest jobs I’ve ever
done” – ends this month amid
media speculation that she’s
quick to refute. “The biggest
fabrication is that I didn’t
get on with the other women.
We were chosen as different
personalities with different
opinions and in terms of our
tastes and hobbies and lifestyles
there were big differences.
But that doesn’t mean people
were turning their backs and
pulling each other’s hair.”
It’s true, however, that she
got on best with Janet Street
Porter. “Janet and I have more
in common. We’re both interested
in art, for a start. In a
Venn diagram of crossover in
interests, there’s more between
us than the others.” What
of the incident where the
pair were reported to have
scribbled on pictures of stars
backstage at the ITV studios?
Whose idea was that? She
bristles and describes it as
“a bit of mischief that got
overblown. It was never anything
that couldn’t be wiped
off with a cloth. We thought it
was hilarious. I was shocked
by the furore in the press
when it was leaked. I’ve never
been part of a game that got
played like that.”
It didn’t seem to do her
any lasting harm, anyway.
When we speak, she has been
announced as a contestant on
the next series of Celebrity
MasterChef. Is she a good
cook? “I won’t even go there.
It’s all officially secret and
they [she means ITV] will just
get p***** off with me and
it’s not worth it.”
Eclair is becoming a familiar
face on reality TV; she’s eaten
bugs in the jungle on I’m A
Celebrity, made appearances
on The Apprentice, even had
a crack at singing on Comic
Relief Does Fame Academy.
“I’ve never been offered
anything I’ve said no to!” she
guffaws. “Yes, I have.
Of course I have. You get
offered those ‘celebrity colonic
irrigation’-type programmes
every few years and I manage
to turn those down. But I don’t
get offered that much TV so it’s
nice to do it generally. I think
having a presence is nice.”
Stand-up remains a
passion, although she says
it’s been a while since she’s
been as excited – and scared –
as she was when they first
launched the Grumpy Old
Women live shows, which
toured across the world.
I hardly dare ask, but is she
really that grumpy? “I can be,
especially when I get asked
that question! A lot of things
annoy me and it’s very easy
for me to be irritated within
ten minutes of getting up,
especially if I put the TV on.
This week, I’m sick of the
word ‘celebrity’ even though
I supposedly am one. It’s
making a bit of sick come
up in my throat. It’s just an
appendage to everything
and who gives a flying f***
about it?”
Eclair will embark on a new
solo tour later this year, some
30 years after she started her
career. How has her comedy
developed over the decades?
“I’m not as screechy or needy
now, mostly because I have an
audience who will actually
listen to me. Twenty years ago I had to come
on shouting because
people were telling
me to get off!”
She recalls the 1980s’
comedy scene as tough
for women, but less
competitive. “It was
harder in terms of the
massive mistrust of female
stand-ups because there
wasn’t a tradition of it, yet
it was easier to make a name
for yourself because there
were fewer of us about.”
She credits her long-term
partner Geof Powell – who
she affectionately calls “St
Geof of Camberwell” – as
the reason she was able to give
stand-up a proper shot. “The
formative years of my career
were spent being able to do
what I did because there
was a man in the
relationship
with a
proper
job.”
The
couple
have never
married –
“It’s just
not for
me. It
fills me
with horror
having to wear
something
like that
and be in a
good mood
all day. All
that smiling!”
– but they have
a grown-up
daughter, Phoebe
Eclair-Powell,
a trainee
arts producer
who Eclair describes as the
love of her life. She will admit
she can be a little needy as a
mother. “She’s living at home
at the moment, so there’s a lot
of anxiety when she’s not
home at 3am. She’s about to
move out into a shared house,
so there’ll be a whole new set
of worries there.”
What of the future? Has she
made any plans for next year,
when the book’s been promoted
and the stand-up show toured?
“I’m going to have a lie-down.
I spent yesterday eating lowfat
salted popcorn from Pret
with no clothes on. That’s my
idea of a good time these days.”
 

* Jenny Eclair will be at the
Ropetackle Arts Centre in
Shoreham to talk about
Life, Death And
Vanilla Slices on
Tuesday, July 31.
For tickets, call
City Books on
01273 725306
or visit rope
tacklecentre.
co.uk