The ArgusSussex families tell how they have been ripped apart by school bullying (From The Argus)

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Sussex families tell how they have been ripped apart by school bullying

The Argus: Sussex families tell how they have been ripped apart by school bullying Sussex families tell how they have been ripped apart by school bullying

The shocking scale of bullying in Sussex schools has been highlighted by parents who have spoken out after The Argus reported how a young victim tried to take her own life.

A mother who has told how she herself was driven to the brink of suicide because of school bullies is just one of dozens of parents to come forward to tell their heartbreaking stories.

The 52-year-old from Brighton, who asked to remain anonymous, contacted us after we exclusively told how Shoreham schoolgirl Charlotte May took an overdose of tablets last week after being abused online.

The woman, whose son attended a Brighton school, described how other pupils filmed him as he was crushed between industrial-sized bins.

His mother said eventually the abuse became so severe he attempted to strangle himself while at school. 

It was shortly after this that his mother moved him to another school in East Sussex. 

The mother of the boy, who has autism, said: “It was a nightmare.

“He was squashed between dustbins and his face was put on an image of a midget.

“This was then recorded and put on YouTube.”

She revealed how her son was so devastated that he tried to strangle himself and the situation also drove her to take an overdose.

Other claims from parents reveal both physical, verbal and cyber bullying.

One mother told The Argus how she was only made aware that her daughter was being bullied after she was pushed over a wall for wearing glasses.

A father said he logged onto his 12-year-old daughter's Facebook account and saw 145 comments targeted at her friend.

He said the comments were “sexual, rude and upsetting” and one said “they would urinate on her [the girl's] grave”.

The father said: “I was so upset I physically vomited.”

Another Brighton parent said: “My daughter was and we've recently moved her because she was physically and mentally abused.”

The Argus contacted the school where the boy attempted to strangle himself and was referred to Brighton and Hove City Council.

A spokesman from the council said: “We take issue with a number of the claims that have been put to us today by The Argus but rules around confidentiality mean we are unable to comment on specific allegations. The school is one for pupils with complex needs and the best interests of our pupils are at the heart of everything we do.”

Chair of Brighton and Hove City Council's children and young people committee, Councillor Sue Shanks, said: “Tackling bullying is a matter for individual schools and each school is required by law to have steps in place to deal with it.

“The city council, in partnership with colleagues in the community and voluntary sector, offers guidance and support to schools on preventing and responding to bullying.

“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.”

A West Sussex County Council spokeswoman added: “We take all cases of bullying very seriously, and work with schools to ensure that these matters are treated seriously. If parents are at all concerned about bullying, they should raise with the school in the first instance or alternatively telephone the WSCC Action Against Bullying support line on 0845 075 1010 to seek advice.”

If your child is aged 11 to 17, they can get advice and support from mentors their own age and professional counsellors at www.BeatBullying.org.

How to talk to your child about bullying

Charity BeatBullying has provided The Argus with advice on how to talk to your child about bullying.

  • Be open - Bullying is a difficult subject to broach with your children, but being open, honest and approachable will make it easier for them to discuss their feelings.
  • Praise them for opening up - It's not easy for children to admit out loud that they are being bullied, so praise them for taking that important step.
  • Reassure them - Despite so many children going through it, there is still a huge stigma associated with bullying. Reassure your child that they are not alone.
  • Work together - If can be tempting, but if you take matters into your own hands and go off and deal with the bullying by yourself, you will make your child feel more helpless. Instead, let your child know that you will not go behind their back or do anything to get help without talking to them about it and having their agreement.
  • Get help from others - Encourage your child to report the problem to the most appropriate teacher at their school.

How to tackle cyberbullying
from BeatBullying 

  • Save or screengrab and print out any bullying messages, posts, pictures or videos you receive.
  • Always report anything abusive you see online to the site concerned. Flag it, report it, or talk to someone about it.
  • Never respond or retaliate, as this can just make things worse. Instead, block any users that send you nasty messages.
  • Think very carefully before posting photos of yourself online. Remember that once your picture is online, anyone can download it and share it or even change it.
  • Do not pass on cyber bullying videos or messages about other people. Don't just ignore it. If you see cyberbullying going on, report it and offer your support.

In figures

Last month The Argus revealed nearly six pupils are bullied every school day in Brighton and Hove.

In the last academic year 1,087 instances of bullying at schools in the city - an average of 5.7 every day at school - were reported to Brighton and Hove City Council.

Almost a fifth of incidents were racially motivated, with 118 incidents being reported in primary schools and 96 in secondary schools between September 2012 and September 2013.

The new figures come as a national bullying charity applauds the Brighton and Hove City Council's efforts to combat the problem.

The detailed results, released following a Freedom of Information request, are available because of a new council initiative to record the type of bullying to track trends and measure the impact of prevention work.

Results from a council-run investigation into bullying at the city's schools are due to be revealed in April.

Primary schools reported youngsters are being hounded because of their religion (13 times), due to disabilities/medical reasons (13 times), sex (nine times), appearance (37 times), home circumstances (nine times) gender identity (16 times) and sexual orientation (71 times).

Bullying which did not fall into one of these categories was recorded as 'other'.

Secondary school children were far more likely to be picked on for their appearance and medical reasons than younger children, the figures revealed.

Secondary school children were bullied because of their religion (ten times), due to disabilities/medical reasons (75 times), sex (11 times), appearance (101 times), home circumstance (four times) gender identity (27 times) and sexual orientation (41 times).

Comments (17)

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9:25am Tue 11 Mar 14

DC Brighton says...

“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.”

Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it.

That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.
“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.” Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it. That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement. DC Brighton
  • Score: 16

10:11am Tue 11 Mar 14

whatevernext2013 says...

DC Brighton wrote:
“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.”

Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it.

That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.
the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place
[quote][p][bold]DC Brighton[/bold] wrote: “Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.” Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it. That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.[/p][/quote]the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place whatevernext2013
  • Score: 10

10:29am Tue 11 Mar 14

woodie49 says...

whatevernext2013 wrote:
DC Brighton wrote:
“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.”

Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it.

That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.
the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place
What a pri** that headteacher must be. Hope he/she replies to this comment.
[quote][p][bold]whatevernext2013[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]DC Brighton[/bold] wrote: “Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.” Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it. That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.[/p][/quote]the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place[/p][/quote]What a pri** that headteacher must be. Hope he/she replies to this comment. woodie49
  • Score: 11

11:09am Tue 11 Mar 14

beano mcbean says...

woodie49 wrote:
whatevernext2013 wrote:
DC Brighton wrote:
“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.”

Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it.

That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.
the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place
What a pri** that headteacher must be. Hope he/she replies to this comment.
I was also glad to see the back of Longhill. I know moving pupils is disruptive but you will find that the bullying is only the tip of the iceberg. In many classes the standard of teaching reflects the heads complete contempt for parents and pupils. If enough parents took their children away from this disaster posing as a school then perhaps those who can do something about it would wake up.
[quote][p][bold]woodie49[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]whatevernext2013[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]DC Brighton[/bold] wrote: “Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.” Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it. That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.[/p][/quote]the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place[/p][/quote]What a pri** that headteacher must be. Hope he/she replies to this comment.[/p][/quote]I was also glad to see the back of Longhill. I know moving pupils is disruptive but you will find that the bullying is only the tip of the iceberg. In many classes the standard of teaching reflects the heads complete contempt for parents and pupils. If enough parents took their children away from this disaster posing as a school then perhaps those who can do something about it would wake up. beano mcbean
  • Score: 9

11:29am Tue 11 Mar 14

whatevernext2013 says...

woodie49 wrote:
whatevernext2013 wrote:
DC Brighton wrote:
“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.”

Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it.

That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.
the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place
What a pri** that headteacher must be. Hope he/she replies to this comment.
he only comes on here to cry about his poor OFSTED reports
[quote][p][bold]woodie49[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]whatevernext2013[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]DC Brighton[/bold] wrote: “Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.” Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it. That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.[/p][/quote]the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place[/p][/quote]What a pri** that headteacher must be. Hope he/she replies to this comment.[/p][/quote]he only comes on here to cry about his poor OFSTED reports whatevernext2013
  • Score: 10

1:14pm Tue 11 Mar 14

mimseycal says...

Bullying doesn't only have victims. It had perpetrators as well.

Sadly, the propensity to bully is established in most cases long before a child gets to school.
Bullying doesn't only have victims. It had perpetrators as well. Sadly, the propensity to bully is established in most cases long before a child gets to school. mimseycal
  • Score: 2

1:17pm Tue 11 Mar 14

utternonsense says...

It should be made law that if someone who is being bullied attempts suicide the bullies should face manslaughter charges . Schools need to pull there fingers out and start sorting these bullying issues out , Parents also need to take charge of there kids these days too . Kids seem to rule the adults these days .
It should be made law that if someone who is being bullied attempts suicide the bullies should face manslaughter charges . Schools need to pull there fingers out and start sorting these bullying issues out , Parents also need to take charge of there kids these days too . Kids seem to rule the adults these days . utternonsense
  • Score: 10

1:33pm Tue 11 Mar 14

worried_mum says...

My children are at one of the primary schools in the City and have suffered from bullying pretty much since in the reception year - where one of them was pushed to the ground in the boys toilets and deliberately urinated on by two other boys.
Moving through the school they have told how other children regularly call them names like tw*t, d*ckhead, w*anker, etc... They have been kicked, punched in the back during line-up, had footballs deliberately kicked into their faces, stabbed in the hand with a pencil, slapped around the head....the list goes on.....
One of my children was recently slapped so hard around the head that the doctor said he was lucky not to have a burst ear drum.
My husband and I have repeatedly reported matters to the head teacher, the deputy head, their class teachers and the SENCO - but still nothing changes. The punishment for these bully children (and a lot of times punishment has been overlooked) - their name on the "sad side" and if it a very agressive incident (punching, slapping, kicking, etc..) then the bully has been given a "red slip" which means 15 minutes taken from their lunchtime break - never has it meant exclusion, but why not??
My chidlren regularly tell me about how there are fights in the playground, how other children think nothing of being verbally abusive to each other and how the teachers/support staff are too busy and have missed out spotting a bully sneakily punching a child in class, for example.
My children are caring, lovely, friendly boys and yet if they get upset and cuddle each other at school other children laugh at them and accuse them of being "so gay".
My children hate going to school - it makes them feel nervous, anxious and upset and have both suffered from nightmares, as a result of incidents at school.
Is it all children I've asked myself? No, as when they see their out-of-school friends they can play happily for hours with no fighting, abusiveness or violence. So my conclusion is that it must be these children that they are having to deal with at school. So much support is given to children to have behavioural problems and have statements, yet little or no support is given well-behaved children who just want to go to school to learn, without be tomented by bullies.
My children are at one of the primary schools in the City and have suffered from bullying pretty much since in the reception year - where one of them was pushed to the ground in the boys toilets and deliberately urinated on by two other boys. Moving through the school they have told how other children regularly call them names like tw*t, d*ckhead, w*anker, etc... They have been kicked, punched in the back during line-up, had footballs deliberately kicked into their faces, stabbed in the hand with a pencil, slapped around the head....the list goes on..... One of my children was recently slapped so hard around the head that the doctor said he was lucky not to have a burst ear drum. My husband and I have repeatedly reported matters to the head teacher, the deputy head, their class teachers and the SENCO - but still nothing changes. The punishment for these bully children (and a lot of times punishment has been overlooked) - their name on the "sad side" and if it a very agressive incident (punching, slapping, kicking, etc..) then the bully has been given a "red slip" which means 15 minutes taken from their lunchtime break - never has it meant exclusion, but why not?? My chidlren regularly tell me about how there are fights in the playground, how other children think nothing of being verbally abusive to each other and how the teachers/support staff are too busy and have missed out spotting a bully sneakily punching a child in class, for example. My children are caring, lovely, friendly boys and yet if they get upset and cuddle each other at school other children laugh at them and accuse them of being "so gay". My children hate going to school - it makes them feel nervous, anxious and upset and have both suffered from nightmares, as a result of incidents at school. Is it all children I've asked myself? No, as when they see their out-of-school friends they can play happily for hours with no fighting, abusiveness or violence. So my conclusion is that it must be these children that they are having to deal with at school. So much support is given to children to have behavioural problems and have statements, yet little or no support is given well-behaved children who just want to go to school to learn, without be tomented by bullies. worried_mum
  • Score: 14

2:30pm Tue 11 Mar 14

getThisCoalitionOut says...

worried_mum wrote:
My children are at one of the primary schools in the City and have suffered from bullying pretty much since in the reception year - where one of them was pushed to the ground in the boys toilets and deliberately urinated on by two other boys.
Moving through the school they have told how other children regularly call them names like tw*t, d*ckhead, w*anker, etc... They have been kicked, punched in the back during line-up, had footballs deliberately kicked into their faces, stabbed in the hand with a pencil, slapped around the head....the list goes on.....
One of my children was recently slapped so hard around the head that the doctor said he was lucky not to have a burst ear drum.
My husband and I have repeatedly reported matters to the head teacher, the deputy head, their class teachers and the SENCO - but still nothing changes. The punishment for these bully children (and a lot of times punishment has been overlooked) - their name on the "sad side" and if it a very agressive incident (punching, slapping, kicking, etc..) then the bully has been given a "red slip" which means 15 minutes taken from their lunchtime break - never has it meant exclusion, but why not??
My chidlren regularly tell me about how there are fights in the playground, how other children think nothing of being verbally abusive to each other and how the teachers/support staff are too busy and have missed out spotting a bully sneakily punching a child in class, for example.
My children are caring, lovely, friendly boys and yet if they get upset and cuddle each other at school other children laugh at them and accuse them of being "so gay".
My children hate going to school - it makes them feel nervous, anxious and upset and have both suffered from nightmares, as a result of incidents at school.
Is it all children I've asked myself? No, as when they see their out-of-school friends they can play happily for hours with no fighting, abusiveness or violence. So my conclusion is that it must be these children that they are having to deal with at school. So much support is given to children to have behavioural problems and have statements, yet little or no support is given well-behaved children who just want to go to school to learn, without be tomented by bullies.
If physical violence is used against your child report it to the police.

A school and it's non caring headteacher normally jumps to attention if the police become involved.

See if East Sussex County Council still has it's bullying unit - we used them before, about 5 years ago and they were excellent. They sent a woman to the school, who spoke to the bully first, then my son, then saw both again and sorted it all out. The school were not able to refuse entry to her! She said the school my son was at in Willingdon, near Eastbourne, was the worst one she had to deal with due to their reluctance to help - they claimed to have a no bullying policy but ignored bullying happening in the school 100%.

Good luck - you will need it.
[quote][p][bold]worried_mum[/bold] wrote: My children are at one of the primary schools in the City and have suffered from bullying pretty much since in the reception year - where one of them was pushed to the ground in the boys toilets and deliberately urinated on by two other boys. Moving through the school they have told how other children regularly call them names like tw*t, d*ckhead, w*anker, etc... They have been kicked, punched in the back during line-up, had footballs deliberately kicked into their faces, stabbed in the hand with a pencil, slapped around the head....the list goes on..... One of my children was recently slapped so hard around the head that the doctor said he was lucky not to have a burst ear drum. My husband and I have repeatedly reported matters to the head teacher, the deputy head, their class teachers and the SENCO - but still nothing changes. The punishment for these bully children (and a lot of times punishment has been overlooked) - their name on the "sad side" and if it a very agressive incident (punching, slapping, kicking, etc..) then the bully has been given a "red slip" which means 15 minutes taken from their lunchtime break - never has it meant exclusion, but why not?? My chidlren regularly tell me about how there are fights in the playground, how other children think nothing of being verbally abusive to each other and how the teachers/support staff are too busy and have missed out spotting a bully sneakily punching a child in class, for example. My children are caring, lovely, friendly boys and yet if they get upset and cuddle each other at school other children laugh at them and accuse them of being "so gay". My children hate going to school - it makes them feel nervous, anxious and upset and have both suffered from nightmares, as a result of incidents at school. Is it all children I've asked myself? No, as when they see their out-of-school friends they can play happily for hours with no fighting, abusiveness or violence. So my conclusion is that it must be these children that they are having to deal with at school. So much support is given to children to have behavioural problems and have statements, yet little or no support is given well-behaved children who just want to go to school to learn, without be tomented by bullies.[/p][/quote]If physical violence is used against your child report it to the police. A school and it's non caring headteacher normally jumps to attention if the police become involved. See if East Sussex County Council still has it's bullying unit - we used them before, about 5 years ago and they were excellent. They sent a woman to the school, who spoke to the bully first, then my son, then saw both again and sorted it all out. The school were not able to refuse entry to her! She said the school my son was at in Willingdon, near Eastbourne, was the worst one she had to deal with due to their reluctance to help - they claimed to have a no bullying policy but ignored bullying happening in the school 100%. Good luck - you will need it. getThisCoalitionOut
  • Score: 4

2:44pm Tue 11 Mar 14

Hooitness says...

Speaking as someone who was also bullied at school, teach your kids to stand up for themselves.

You can't expect someone else to sort out your problems for you.

I took a lot of stick, until it got to the point where I couldn't take anymore. I didn't hurt myself, I hurt those who were victimising me.

Bullying is unfortunately a part of growing up.
Speaking as someone who was also bullied at school, teach your kids to stand up for themselves. You can't expect someone else to sort out your problems for you. I took a lot of stick, until it got to the point where I couldn't take anymore. I didn't hurt myself, I hurt those who were victimising me. Bullying is unfortunately a part of growing up. Hooitness
  • Score: -3

3:15pm Tue 11 Mar 14

Brighton mum says...

whatevernext2013 wrote:
DC Brighton wrote:
“Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.”

Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it.

That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.
the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place
I had the same problem with Longhill the excuse of a headteacher told me my child had trapped her own arm in a door a repeatly slammed it shut on the arm to end up being taken up the hospital ! As she was attention seeking too ..
I'm glad to see the back of that vile school and poor excuse of a headteacher !
[quote][p][bold]whatevernext2013[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]DC Brighton[/bold] wrote: “Since 2005 the amount of reported bullying in our secondary schools has halved from around a quarter of pupils to around 12% of pupils, as shown in local survey data.” Please don't patronise us Councillor Shanks. Like crime data, this is most likely because kids have given up reporting it. That said, the council's new initiatives are to be applauded - and clearly contradict the above statement.[/p][/quote]the issue with reporting bullying at longhill ,is the headteacher tells parents that there child is making it up for attention ,i was glad to see the back of the place[/p][/quote]I had the same problem with Longhill the excuse of a headteacher told me my child had trapped her own arm in a door a repeatly slammed it shut on the arm to end up being taken up the hospital ! As she was attention seeking too .. I'm glad to see the back of that vile school and poor excuse of a headteacher ! Brighton mum
  • Score: 7

3:51pm Tue 11 Mar 14

SeanCh says...

Even if the bullying isn't physical it might still be worth getting the police involved. A relative of mine was being bullied at Varndean High School, to the point that they managed to get hold his mobile and home numbers and would phone and be very abusive (to anyone who answered the phone) at all times of the day using blocked numbers. The school admitted that they had a good idea of who was doing it but refused to do anything or give us the names so we could go to the police.

In the end we went to the police, against the schools wishes and you would be surprised how quickly the school suddenly got involved, but not until the police went to them and got the names of those the school suspected of being involved. We were assured by the police that parents of the kids had been tormenting my relative had been talked to, as had the kids and the calls and abuse stopped after that.

The lesson is that 9/10 unless you get the police involved the schools won't do anything to stop the bullying
Even if the bullying isn't physical it might still be worth getting the police involved. A relative of mine was being bullied at Varndean High School, to the point that they managed to get hold his mobile and home numbers and would phone and be very abusive (to anyone who answered the phone) at all times of the day using blocked numbers. The school admitted that they had a good idea of who was doing it but refused to do anything or give us the names so we could go to the police. In the end we went to the police, against the schools wishes and you would be surprised how quickly the school suddenly got involved, but not until the police went to them and got the names of those the school suspected of being involved. We were assured by the police that parents of the kids had been tormenting my relative had been talked to, as had the kids and the calls and abuse stopped after that. The lesson is that 9/10 unless you get the police involved the schools won't do anything to stop the bullying SeanCh
  • Score: 6

6:22pm Tue 11 Mar 14

scuba1 says...

I am a parent of a bullied child , she has had her head smashed against a metal park gate which left her face bloodied and bruised , she has also endured two years of torment and abuse . I wanted to speak the only language these parasites know but I have had to refrain from this as I need to also keep my family safe ... I did approach the school and their answer was to remove my child from the school and put her in part time !! I did involve the police also , who I have to say we're very supportive . My daughter now 15 , does 3-5pm schooling to keep her safe ultimately and so she can catch up on the huge amount of work she has missed . Fortunately she has been accepted already at a very good and understanding college who have understood our predicament and will allow her to gain the qualifications that she needs there if she cannot attain them now . I'm now dreading my youngest daughter going through the same experience and she's only eight , I'm scared of how much more I can take if I'm honest .
I am a parent of a bullied child , she has had her head smashed against a metal park gate which left her face bloodied and bruised , she has also endured two years of torment and abuse . I wanted to speak the only language these parasites know but I have had to refrain from this as I need to also keep my family safe ... I did approach the school and their answer was to remove my child from the school and put her in part time !! I did involve the police also , who I have to say we're very supportive . My daughter now 15 , does 3-5pm schooling to keep her safe ultimately and so she can catch up on the huge amount of work she has missed . Fortunately she has been accepted already at a very good and understanding college who have understood our predicament and will allow her to gain the qualifications that she needs there if she cannot attain them now . I'm now dreading my youngest daughter going through the same experience and she's only eight , I'm scared of how much more I can take if I'm honest . scuba1
  • Score: 5

10:44pm Tue 11 Mar 14

righton says...

I like the council view each school has its own bullying policy. Now when I tried to follow the bullying policy ladder I went further to the Secretary of State and the dept of education I contacted ofstead and each fobbed me off oft stead said they would not carry out an inspection as the concern had to come from the teacher.

I had seven different agencies involved with my family and despite me saying and my child saying the bullying and school was the problem we were jumping through hurdles repeatedly and my child more der pressed and despondent at each turn. Coping with the agencies and the despair both myself and child were in was horrific.
Social services told me I had to care and protect my child I pointed I did and was trying to from what was going on in school my child was being abused by both teachers and pupils mentally and physically yet they refused to protect him.

I am told the school welfare officer is an educational social worker but they would not stop the abuse.

If the bully has issues fine sort them out with the services I had to prove myself to surely the issues the bully has cannot be used as they are currently to support their actions?



Cahms useless and in fact made the issue worse. Social workers stupid advice mother cause issue to get attention for herself trouble maker.

Even visual evidence was ignored.

ACE we were sent there despite my child reacting as he was as the ed dept refuse to assess him only by going private was it finally put in black and white he had autism hearing problems eye problems dyslexia

In stead of forcing classroom and more able children to support these children they should be assessed and given support appropriately instead the junior and infant schools refuse to help and if you don't like it take your child somewhere else.

It has been shown that shunning the bully will stem the the flow don't advertise bullying just quietly say it will not be tolerated and deal with it forcably not days off days spent in shame put in a class where others can see them and know why they are there

There needs to be a service with teeth who can ensure that so called bulling procedure is full filled at school and if it is not then they should take action against them even adjust ofstead reports according to the cases they have succssesfully dealt with.
Currently there is no firm department to support and take action on child and parents behalf this needed to be set up as soon as possible.

Schools rely on the fact that the chance of parents meeting up nowadays is reduced so the support they can get is reduced.

Get a live and kicking system in place now I say
I like the council view each school has its own bullying policy. Now when I tried to follow the bullying policy ladder I went further to the Secretary of State and the dept of education I contacted ofstead and each fobbed me off oft stead said they would not carry out an inspection as the concern had to come from the teacher. I had seven different agencies involved with my family and despite me saying and my child saying the bullying and school was the problem we were jumping through hurdles repeatedly and my child more der pressed and despondent at each turn. Coping with the agencies and the despair both myself and child were in was horrific. Social services told me I had to care and protect my child I pointed I did and was trying to from what was going on in school my child was being abused by both teachers and pupils mentally and physically yet they refused to protect him. I am told the school welfare officer is an educational social worker but they would not stop the abuse. If the bully has issues fine sort them out with the services I had to prove myself to surely the issues the bully has cannot be used as they are currently to support their actions? Cahms useless and in fact made the issue worse. Social workers stupid advice mother cause issue to get attention for herself trouble maker. Even visual evidence was ignored. ACE we were sent there despite my child reacting as he was as the ed dept refuse to assess him only by going private was it finally put in black and white he had autism hearing problems eye problems dyslexia In stead of forcing classroom and more able children to support these children they should be assessed and given support appropriately instead the junior and infant schools refuse to help and if you don't like it take your child somewhere else. It has been shown that shunning the bully will stem the the flow don't advertise bullying just quietly say it will not be tolerated and deal with it forcably not days off days spent in shame put in a class where others can see them and know why they are there There needs to be a service with teeth who can ensure that so called bulling procedure is full filled at school and if it is not then they should take action against them even adjust ofstead reports according to the cases they have succssesfully dealt with. Currently there is no firm department to support and take action on child and parents behalf this needed to be set up as soon as possible. Schools rely on the fact that the chance of parents meeting up nowadays is reduced so the support they can get is reduced. Get a live and kicking system in place now I say righton
  • Score: 1

3:35am Wed 12 Mar 14

tangles says...

I removed my son from school after two years of periodic bullying to home educate him as it had affected him so badly and he was showing signs of mental illness. I feel bullying should be a job for social services as in our experience the school appeared to have a deny it, admit nothing approach despite actual injuries. My biggest regret was not getting him out of school sooner. The damage is lasting and we are still having flashbacks and social anxiety. I simply don't understand the mentality of parents who will watch their child cause harm to another and not act to prevent it, and then become aggressive when challenged...
I removed my son from school after two years of periodic bullying to home educate him as it had affected him so badly and he was showing signs of mental illness. I feel bullying should be a job for social services as in our experience the school appeared to have a deny it, admit nothing approach despite actual injuries. My biggest regret was not getting him out of school sooner. The damage is lasting and we are still having flashbacks and social anxiety. I simply don't understand the mentality of parents who will watch their child cause harm to another and not act to prevent it, and then become aggressive when challenged... tangles
  • Score: 2

11:27am Wed 12 Mar 14

hove bn3 says...

Councillor Sue Shanks has clearly not dealt with schools regarding bullying. Yes they are required by law to have a anti bullying policy, but that is as far as it goes. I have for the past two and a half years dealt with a local secondary school where my daughter has suffered verbal and physical abuse on a daily basis in lessons and at break time. School does very little to punish bullies as it is easier for them to blame your child. They tick boxes by offering you counselling and hope that you will go away. I have been in meetings with the head, deputy head and health and safety officer and none of them had a copy of their anti bullying policy and when I quoted from the policy they had no idea what I was talking about. I had to give my copy to the head. We are all facing the same brick wall. Staff have no training in how to deal with bullying and to anyone who think the victim should stand up for them self, my daughter have done so and been punished harder than any of the bullies for telling them to f. off. School has no idea how to deal with it and parents get fed up with reporting incidents (so much for Sue Shanks statistics). If I abused my daughter the way she has been abused at school social services would have taken her away and I would be in prison. By law I have to send her to school. By law school have to provide her with a safe environment for learning. I have kept my end of the deal - they have not. Who will punish them?
Councillor Sue Shanks has clearly not dealt with schools regarding bullying. Yes they are required by law to have a anti bullying policy, but that is as far as it goes. I have for the past two and a half years dealt with a local secondary school where my daughter has suffered verbal and physical abuse on a daily basis in lessons and at break time. School does very little to punish bullies as it is easier for them to blame your child. They tick boxes by offering you counselling and hope that you will go away. I have been in meetings with the head, deputy head and health and safety officer and none of them had a copy of their anti bullying policy and when I quoted from the policy they had no idea what I was talking about. I had to give my copy to the head. We are all facing the same brick wall. Staff have no training in how to deal with bullying and to anyone who think the victim should stand up for them self, my daughter have done so and been punished harder than any of the bullies for telling them to f. off. School has no idea how to deal with it and parents get fed up with reporting incidents (so much for Sue Shanks statistics). If I abused my daughter the way she has been abused at school social services would have taken her away and I would be in prison. By law I have to send her to school. By law school have to provide her with a safe environment for learning. I have kept my end of the deal - they have not. Who will punish them? hove bn3
  • Score: 0

7:33am Fri 14 Mar 14

yes2values says...

As a charity, we provide comprehensive programmes that help children and young people discuss and talk about the kinds of qualities they admire and would like to have as well as those that are not attractive and indeed unhelpful in forming good relationships.

If anyone would like one of our free lesson plans on KINDNESS (for ages 4 to 12) or ANTI-BULLYING (for ages 12 to 14 and over) that help children and young people to be kinder to one another, just email your request to yes2values@hvf.org.u
k.

Human Values Foundation (http://www.hvf.org.
uk)
Charity Number 1048755
As a charity, we provide comprehensive programmes that help children and young people discuss and talk about the kinds of qualities they admire and would like to have as well as those that are not attractive and indeed unhelpful in forming good relationships. If anyone would like one of our free lesson plans on KINDNESS (for ages 4 to 12) or ANTI-BULLYING (for ages 12 to 14 and over) that help children and young people to be kinder to one another, just email your request to yes2values@hvf.org.u k. Human Values Foundation (http://www.hvf.org. uk) Charity Number 1048755 yes2values
  • Score: 0

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