You've stolen my life: Brighton woman tells shocking story of online 'catfish' impersonator

In a horrifying story suited for hit MTV show ‘Catfish’, Ruth Palmer 25, from Brighton, last month discovered an array of social media profiles boasting her own pictures – but under somebody else’s name.

In short, a ‘catfish’ is a term used to describe people online who pretend to be someone they are not – usually with the intention of getting someone to fall in love with them.

In Ruth’s case, the fake profiles went under the name of ‘Leah Palmer’ and had been running on social networking sites like Instagram and Twitter for more than three years.

Shockingly, the impersonator struck up a series of online relationships with various people and tricked her victims into thinking she had emigrated from Brighton to Dubai – just like Ruth.

The person sent Christmas cards, birthday cards and made dinner reservations for her online lovers – all while using Ruth’s images and details of her life.

They also exchanged sexually explicit images with their victims using other people’s bodies that she sourced online.

“Circa 900 images and videos of my own personal experiences had been taken from my own social media accounts, some from five years back,” said Ruth.

“Now this maybe sounds fairly average given the social media society we live in today, however the imposter had gone even deeper than what I had originally thought when I looked into it further.

“I found the person held a two-and-a-half-year online relationship with someone whom she spoke to every night on the phone, text messaged, exchanged emails and explicit images, using other women’s bodies.

“I then discovered she had been stalking, contacting and having dialogue with celebrities and fashion designers posing as Cheryl Cole’s stylist. She even made bookings with them and other arrangements. It was a massive web of deceit.”

Ruth said some of the catfish’s victims included a semi-pro golfer and a well-known international DJ. The two victims denied ever sending money or gifts to the catfish or sending sexually explicit images.

But Ruth said: “I don’t know whether they actually bought her gifts or sent money or anything. I think they’re probably too embarrassed to admit it if they did. They were horrified when I told them the person they’d been speaking to wasn’t who she said she was.

“I have spoken to around five or six different men who have been involved with her but unfortunately since they are all in the public eye, they want to remain anonymous.

“I also found the imposter had been making online friendships with other girls pretending to be interested in their lives. But then with some of them, she would turn nasty and ‘troll’ them – sending them abuse and insulting them.

“Disturbingly she also created a fake social media account of my friend using my friend’s real name and started having conversations between both the imposter and the 'friend' account. My mum, who is a psychologist, says the catfish must be really troubled in the head.”

Ruth’s hellish discovery didn’t end there. She discovered the imposter had created a fake social media account pretending to be Ruth’s mother, and would comment on ‘Leah’s’ pictures with things like “It’s your mum here – you are beautiful inside and out” and “I am so blessed with you”.

Ruth went on: “She told people that she lived in Brighton and had moved to Dubai recently and that she had two brothers and a cat called Misty, whilst using all the genuine lives of my social group of friends as her own. All of which are true accounts of my own life.

“She also pretended to the man she was in a relationship with that my genuine friends were her friends.

“By that, I mean she was talking about them in the pictures she had posted as if they were her own. She replayed accounts of where she had been with them and what events she had been to with them. She had also been using images of young children on the imposter account, claiming them to be my friends’ children.”

In a dark twist, the imposter told her online lovers and friends that her brothers had died, she had an ongoing illness and had been in car crashes – all in a bid to gain attention and sympathy.

Ruth complained to the social networks and the imposter’s accounts were closed down.

Admitting she was “lucky” to have uncovered the depravity of the whole situation, she was looking forward to moving on with her life.

However the day after the accounts closed, new imposter accounts with Ruth’s images appeared almost straight away.

Ruth said: “This signalled to me that whoever was doing this now had an obsession with my life.

“It’s horrible and I just can’t understand what must be going through this person’s head to do this. It’s been horrific for me, my family, friends and husband.

“I am now fearful of whoever this girl as she is seemingly not able to stop this and nothing seems to deter her.

“I feel violated and completely invaded and would very much like this to be broadcast to as many people as possible as this could be happening for many, many others.”

Ruth complained to Sussex Police but her case was referred to Action Fraud – the UK’s national reporting centre for fraud and internet crime. The service is run by the City of London Police, who work alongside the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau.

But despite the severity of the case, Action Fraud said there has been no criminality.

Merryn Hockaday, of Action Fraud, said: “Ruth Palmer’s case has been ‘no crimed’ by the Crime Registrar and the report will now be classed as an information report.

“Information reports are not investigated by the police, but they are kept on record and used for intelligence purposes.

“This means the case will be kept on record to help inform intelligence. It may be, that in the future, a similar report comes in and criminal activity has taken place, the reports could be linked somehow, by suspect, location etc and it could help to inform the intelligence for that investigation.”

Ruth made brief contact with the catfish when she called a mobile number the imposter had been giving out to her victims.She described her accent as “probably from London” – but the conversation was brief and the perpetrator hung up.

The Argus also tried to get in contact with the catfish, but the number is now out of use.

Ruth said: “I just want people to be aware of what can happen online. You never know what’s going on – and what a profound effect something like this can have on your life.

“It’s crazy. I genuinely don't feel like it has actually happened but sadly it really has and the situation keeps unravelling where more and more people have been duped by this imposter for either online friendships or online relationships."

What kind of person would impersonate someone else online?

The Argus shared Ruth's story with a top Brighton psychologist in a bid to understand the thinking behind her 'catfish'.

Greg Madison is a chartered psychologist, counsellor and psychotherapist and fellow of the British Psychological Society.

He admits Ruth's story is “disturbing” and had never heard of anything like it.

He said: “This is a disturbing story, in part for the negative impact it has obviously has on Ruth, and in part because the so-called 'catfish' behaviour does seem to imply a person who is trying to get gratification regardless of the effect it has on others.

“The temptation to pathologise this behaviour does not get us any closer to understanding it. Of course pretending to be someone else is not confined to this online behaviour and at least in small ways we probably all do it during the course of our daily lives when we want to impress someone.

“I suspect that the Catfish behaviour, though similar scenarios may be played out, will have idiosyncratic motives in each case, likely including issues of low-self-esteem, and a lack of empathy for others.”

Greg believes 'catfish' behaviour can always be traced back to someone who feels they have to “hide themselves” in order for society to accept them.

He believes the internet has given catfishes a previously unheard of platform to ply their trade.

He added: “There is always a unique story to the individual who feels they have to hide themselves in order to be accepted or to belong. While destructive, it is also quite tragic and more so now that the internet offers the potential scope for it to be so damaging.”