A retired Church of England vicar accused of molesting a boy of 14 and a string of young men told jurors he had spent 40 years "in denial" about his gay feelings.

Vickery House, 69, is on trial at the Old Bailey accused of eight counts of indecent assault on males between 1970 and 1986 while he worked as a curate and vicar in Devon and East Sussex.

Giving evidence in his defence, he told jurors that he had a sexual relationship with an older man when he went to theological college but kept it a secret and married his childhood sweetheart Wincey.

Years later, his repressed feelings resurfaced in 1977 when he "mistakenly" made a sexual advance on a young monk with whom he had formed a close bond, he said.

House, who has been married for 47 years and has two children, admitted making sexual advances to men over the years, but only if he felt sure they would be reciprocated.

The court heard he was brought up in a small community called Richmond Beach, near Seattle, in the United States where he met his wife-to-be at 13, and decided on a vocation in the Church the following year.

At the age of 18, he came to Britain to study in a theological college with a monastic tradition because he was drawn to the High Anglican church, he said.

It was there that he met an older man with whom he had his first sexual relationship.

House told the jury that this was the first time he had ever told anyone, apart from his legal team, about the relationship he regarded as "a sin".

He said: "In my position, any indication, particularly in those days, that I had a relationship with another man would have put my whole future in question.

"It was beyond consideration and I would not have progressed any further than theological college - as was the case in the 1960s, 70s, 80s."

When asked by Sarah Elliott QC what the Church's attitude was, he said: "Clergymen who were found to have homosexual relationships or feelings were sidelined, dismissed, probably lost their living. It was a really dangerous area."

In general, he said the Church of England regarded homosexuality as "forbidden" and "a sin".

House told the jury that he came to realise that such a relationship was not what he wanted and it was only when he got married that he felt "totally fulfilled".

On his wife of 47 years, he said: "She is my life, emotionally, physically, personally. It was everything I wanted.

"Being married was so utterly different from the relationship I had with another man, it did not compare. It was another world."

The first alleged assaults on a boy of 14 or 15 were around 1970, but House told jurors that his first ill-fated advance happened in 1977 when a monk friend visited him and his wife in Devon.

He told the jury that he did not dispute the man's account that after Mrs House went to bed, he touched the young monk's crotch over his clothes.

He said: "I spent 40 years in denial, repressing any of these incidents. It is the only way to survive in the Church of England.

"If they had come out I would have lost my job, our friends would have had to know, I would have lost everything.

"So I spent 40 years pushing these things down so nothing ever comes up."

He told the court he had taken "Dutch courage" before making his move, adding: "If you have these feelings, being more relaxed means they are not repressed and denial is loosened."

Afterwards, he said: "I felt very confused, having spent the 10 years before pushing down and really not entertaining the idea of my previous experience at theological college. I was very surprised and shocked at myself that these feelings happened again."

Asked why he had made a sexual advance at all, House said: "Because I thought our relationship had developed to such a point that he would be receptive - mistakenly, obviously."

Ms Elliott asked: "Would you have made that advance if you thought he would not be receptive?"

House replied: "No, he was too good a friend to lose.

"If by any chance it went drastically wrong, my whole career, my life would have been over so I had to be as clear and careful as possible that my advances would be accepted."

He went on: "It never happened very often, as you can see, over 40 years. You get an indication that people may be receptive but you have to be very, very careful that you are sure as possible that you would be accepted and received.

"It's not that I have not been attracted to others. It's always a risk, obviously. It's not been very good."

On how he felt when his friend did not react to his advance, House said: "I was obviously embarrassed and unsure and it was not the sort of thing he and I would have talked about."

House, of Brighton Road, Handcross, West Sussex, denies the charges against him and the trial continues.