A WIDOW is trekking across the Himalayas to raise money for the hospice which cared for her husband.

Gail Chandler will take part in the Dalai Lama India Trek for Worthing’s St Barnabas House in memory of her late husband Clive, who died in 2013.

The couple married in the hospice in the May of 2013 but Clive quickly deteriorated and died just weeks later.

The 52-year-old had cancer in his spine, bones, brain, lungs, adrenals and liver.

She said: “The care St Barnabas provided is beyond any other care I’ve seen anywhere else.

“They are so specialised. The most caring, lovely people I have ever come across. They are just like angels, a bunch of angels. You have to be a special person to do that.”

The pair met in the 1980s and had a daughter, Jemma.

They separated but rekindled their relationship in 2012, by which time Clive was ill.

She said the trek, which she is going on with friend Carole Pickworth, would be the perfect opportunity to raise money for the hospice and remember her late husband.

She added: “I’ve always wanted to go to the Himalayas. Carole and I are both yoga teachers and there’s the connection with that. The trek is also in the area where the Dalai Lama is from, and the Buddhist thinking is another thing I really follow.”

The trek will see the team of walkers begin their journey in Dharmasala, northern India, before setting off into the stunning Himalayan mountain range.

They will pass through the Kingdom of Gaddi, where a semi-nomadic race live with their cattle, rhododendron forests, Hindu settlements and Buddhist monasteries.

As part of the challenge, they will hang prayer flags at the highest point of the trek in Laka Got to celebrate the lives of loved ones and all those cared for by St Barnabas House.

The trip will round off with a visit to the Taj Mahal.

Gail has so far raised £1,196 but is hoping to gather much more.

On Saturday November 18 she is holding a table top sale at Storrington Village Hall from 10am to 4pm.

Tables are £10 each and there will be tea, coffee and cakes for sale.

On Saturday February 3, both Gail and Carole are holding a yoga day at Pulborough Village Hall. Tickets are £30 per person and must be booked in advance.

Call Gail on 01903 746450 for both events.

There is also still time to book your place on the trek. Call 01903 706354.

It costs more than £6 million a year to fund St Barnabas House and only 21 per cent of the costs are state funded.

The pair formed a friendship which blossomed into a relationship. Gail already had a son, Aaron, whom Clive loved as if he were his own. In 1983 they had a daughter, Jemma.

Soon after the family were homeless for seven months following a fire in Gail’s flat, but with the support of friends, neighbours, and Gail’s sister Dawn they were looked after and eventually moved into a council house.

Clive was a musician who had his own recording studio in Shoreham. Having been with Gail for 25 years he then met Mary, who became the singer in his band. Gail told how he started falling for her.

She said: “Clive told me he loved us both. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I thought that if he’d got to the stage in his life where he needed to move on then so be it, when you love someone you let them go. I struggled with that and never met anyone else.”

In 2012 Clive was visiting Jemma’s for the family Christmas dinner together. It was at that point Gail learned that Clive and Mary had split after seven years and he had started to become unwell.

“I kept in contact with Clive,” she said. “We were really good friends and watched out for each other. When I brought him back for Christmas dinner at Jemma’s he wasn’t himself.

“In April he moved in. He was complaining of a headache and his body had changed shape considerably. At that point he couldn’t walk up the stairs to the spare room, so I made a bed for him on a mattress on the floor in the front room so all amenities where close to hand. Later Aaron brought him a camp bed.

“Clive had an ultrasound scan prior to moving back in, but we heard nothing more from the doctors. After talking with Clive he gave Jemma and I permission to go and talk to his doctor on his behalf. We were told there was possibly something on his liver and we were to wait for a CT scan appointment.

Clive was admitted to hospital after Jemma found him collapsed at home and it was discovered he had pneumonia, but the next day he was told he could go home.

Gail said: “I insisted that Clive should stay in the hospital and have a full body scan. He was having terrible headaches which he said was blocked sinus, but I could see his head had changed shape and there was clearly something else going on. We had still not heard about a CT scan but the doctor insisted I took him home.

After that Clive started deteriorating quickly, and Gail was struggling to cope with little support. Each night she would call out a doctor for pain relief.

“Clive was shutting down,” she recalled. “I remembered how amazing St Barnabas had been for my friend’s mother. The problem was, we didn’t know exactly what was wrong with Clive because he hadn’t had a diagnosis.

“After a number of phone calls to St Barnabas, a doctor phoned me up to ask how I was doing. At that precise moment, Clive was sick so I had to put the phone down, but I didn’t turn it off. When I had cleaned him I picked up the phone and she was still there. I burst into tears and said, ‘I need help, he’s dying on the floor and there’s nothing I can do’.

“The doctor came to see him and the next thing he was in an ambulance coming to St Barnabas. Jem had to sign a form to say do not resuscitate if he didn’t make it to the hospice. He wasn’t expected to survive the journey, but he did. They turned everything around.”

Clive was admitted to the In-patient Unit at the hospice and was not expected to last longer than a couple of days. Gail was able to stay with him in one of the family rooms where she could sleep on the chair and their daughter, Jemma, could sleep on the sofa bed.

Within two days Clive started to make a miraculous recovery. Gail remembered how a week later he proposed. She said: “He was sitting on the commode and he asked me to marry him! I burst out laughing with joy and said of course I would. It was a magical moment.”

Blessed by the hospice’s Chaplain, Stephen Gurr, who obtained special permission from the Archbishop of Canterbury, the couple married at the hospice on Wednesday 22 May 2013.

Gail said: “Clive didn’t like jewellery so I went to Stephen told him I had tried Hula hoops but they were just too small, Stephen suggested Haribo rings. Straight after we married Clive ate his. He said it would always be part of him that way.”

While at the hospice Clive was able to bring his keyboard which was set up at the end of his bed. Gail recalled: “It was a pleasure for Clive to be able to sit there and play a little. His mate Alec stood next to him and played the guitar with the little amp in the corner.”

Clive still hadn’t received a diagnosis at that point, but with proper medication and care he was able to visit the hospital for a full body scan the day before the wedding. Gail explained how they didn’t want to know the results until after their honeymoon.

“The nurses were fabulous,” she said. “They put a screen down on the door and treated it like a normal honeymoon with such respect and love.

“We found out a couple of days later that Clive had cancer in his spine, bones, brain, lungs, adrenals and liver. St Barnabas had given him the opportunity to have more time and propose to me.”

Following Clive and Gail’s wedding, Stephen Gurr along with Rev. Rodger Watts of St Marys Church, Storrington, was able to obtain special permission once again, this time for the wedding of Jemma to her partner, Tony.

Gail said: “Jemma really wanted Clive to give her away and was not prepared to wait to see if Clive was still with us on the date the wedding had been scheduled for.

“Clive was in the wheelchair being pushed up the aisle. Before he got to the end they stopped, Jemma took one of his arms and his brother the other, and he took a few steps to get to the altar. I burst out crying because it was all so emotional. Tony’s face was a huge grin, just seeing Clive be able to do that for his daughter.”

After the wedding, Clive and Gail returned home with visits from the St Barnabas House Hospice at Home nurses, but Gail found it a struggle as Clive deteriorated quickly. He was readmitted to the hospice and passed away on Thursday 18 July 2013 at the age of 52 with Gail and Jemma alongside him.

Reflecting on the care they received, Gail said: “The care St Barnabas provided is beyond any other care I’ve seen anywhere else. They are so specialised. The most caring, lovely people I have ever come across. They are just like angels, a bunch of angels. You have to be a special person to do that.”

Following Clive’s passing, on Christmas Eve of the same year it was discovered that Jemma, who had a gastrointestinal stromal tumour removed from her stomach following the birth of her daughter, Willow, had cancer again. She is still battling now.

Earlier this year, Gail and her friend Carole Pickworth came across the Dalai Lama India Trek on the St Barnabas House website. Gail felt it would be a great opportunity to raise money to support the hospice after the care she and Clive received.

She said: “I’ve always wanted to go to the Himalayas. Carole and I are both yoga teachers and there’s the connection with that. The trek is also in the area where the Dalai Lama is from, and the Buddhist thinking is another thing I really follow.”

The trek will see the team of walkers begin their journey in Dharmasala, where the Tibetan community are situated, before setting off into the peaceful and stunning Himalayan mountain range.

With spectacular views guaranteed, they will pass through the Kingdom of Gaddi, a semi-nomadic race who spend months wandering the high passes with their cattle, rhododendron forests, Hindu settlements and Buddhist monasteries.

As part of the challenge, participants will also be invited to hang prayer flags at the highest point of the trek in Laka Got to celebrate the lives of loved ones and all those cared for by St Barnabas House.

The trip will round off with an unmissable visit to the Taj Mahal, one of the world’s greatest monuments to love.

Part of the challenge of the Dalai Lama India Trek is raising sponsorship money to help St Barnabas House, enabling the hospice to continue providing its vital hospice care services and expand on the care it already provides.

It costs over £6 million a year to pay for all of the care provided by St Barnabas House, and only 21 percent of the costs are state funded. This means that the majority of it has to be raised through voluntary donations and fundraising.

So far Gail has raised £1,196.22 in sponsorship for the trek which she is doing in memory of Clive.

On Saturday 18 November Gail is holding a “table top sale” at Storrington Village Hall from 10am to 4pm. Tables are £10 each for anyone wishing to use one to sell goods and there will be tea, coffee and cakes for sale. If you would like to book a table, please call Gail on 01903 746450.

On Saturday 3 February 2018, Gail and Carole are holding a yoga day at Pulborough Village Hall. Tickets are £30 per person and must be booked in advance by calling Gail on 01903 746450.

There is still time to register for the trek, although places are filling fast. Kerry O’Neill, Events Fundraiser for St Barnabas House, said: “There are just nine places left for the trek and they are filling fast, so register now to avoid disappointment!”

You can find out more about the trek or register to take part at www.stbh.org.uk/india. Alternatively call 01903 706354 or email events@stbh.org.uk