TOP TEN: Here Comes Trouble, and other t-shirts (From The Argus)

TOP TEN: Here Comes Trouble, and other t-shirts

7:59pm Monday 12th July 2010 in

By Alice Wright - Reluctant Housewife »

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It’s a nightmare. A sartorial minefield. What do you dress your child in every day to show off just how funny and imaginative you are as a parent? It was a competition I was entered into the very week I gave birth when I was sent a tiny top for my new baby boy bearing the legend ‘Lock Up Your Daughters’. Funny? Maybe. A challenge? Definitely. The hunt has been on ever since for individual pieces that obviously say more about me than my son…

Like a social-networking update the slogan or logo on your child’s t-shirt will reveal you to be either naught but a common bore or a satirist with a wit only seen before in the likes of Wilde or Crisp. It will also mark you out as either a Primark or GAP shopper, an online exclusive shopper or the recipient of hand-me downs - such is the notoriety of the more popular designs.

I was aware of the typical shirts you could find sporting slogans such as ‘Here Comes Trouble’, ‘Mummy’s Little Angel’, ‘Think I’m cute? You Should See My Dad’ and ‘Trouble is My Middle Name’ etc etc, all well and good but hardly original. Same goes for mini rock t-shirts – we all know that baby hasn’t listened to The Ramones or the Rolling Stones, and neither probably have the parents. Our boy has a Smiths one. There are some rather worrying ones too and I shudder when I see a tiny lass sporting ‘Future WAG’ in pink or a growing lad proudly bearing ‘Couch Potato’ with some beer bottles stacked up against the baby milk ones.

I have been looking out for great original slogans ever since... T-shirts that my boy can wear that illustrate just how funny, sensitive, exciting, creative and innovative I really am as a person without me having to say it for myself. And of course so you can see just what kind of cool, retro things I am into, so he has a plethora of Superhero outfits, a Hulk Tshirt, a Yoda t-shirt and lots of Nordic reindeer knits. Until he can choose what to wear for himself without getting ice cream everywhere I will continue to hunt high and low, sometimes designing my own, for that elusive item that will either raise a smile or some eyebrows in the shopping centre…

So here is my Top Ten of Kiddie’s T-shirts that I hope gives you some inspiration in the race to ‘be the funniest’. Feel free to add your own, as long as yours aren’t better than mine:

They're not my parents, we met on Facebook

A knowing nod to the fact we all spend far too much time social-networking and are so over it all aren’t we?

Sprout

Red with a big picture of a sprout on it – good for Christmas time. Also alludes to the fact he is still small.

They beat me

Spelt out in little building blocks. This showstopper causes a quiet uproar wherever we go. Don’t think its funny? Well no, neither do I, but that’s the point. (also available in They shake me for smaller babies)

Talk to my agent

Because obviously we know we have a talented son (see also I'll have my people call your people)

I'll be back ... after my nap

Complete with picture of Arnie in full on Terminator mode with gun (I don’t believe in censorship)

Don't you wish your baby was cute like me?

I am not a Pussycat Dolls fan, just aware that I have the most attractive child in the room.

Zombie snack

A bit of horror movie fun. Great for Hallowe'en, he also has a skeleton one for the same time of year.

The force is strong with this one

Of course a parental nod to Star Wars, we’re all old enough to remember it first time round, but also implies that my son is a Jedi, which is better than being Ben 10.

Daleks & Cybermen & Sontaaran & Silurians & The Master

Oh no, we don’t just have a t-shirt that has a picture of Dr Who on it, oh no. We have one that lists all of his foes. We also have one that lists all of his companions, it takes folks a moment, but he always gets a knowing second look. If it’s a confused one, you’re just not cool enough to understand.

I heart NY

Obviously he hasn’t been there yet. But being cool he will do, this shirt shows that his mother already has.

If you want to also be creative and individual with your children’s clothes and can’t find what you want in Asda feel free to check out labels such as Well Spotted, Future Freak, CafePress and Fabric Flavours or you could always design your own – if you are witty enough of course, this is your reputation we are talking about.

Comments(27)

Patrick Mustard says...
10:16am Tue 13 Jul 10

I have had more laughs in a traffic accident.

None of them are funny, you are certainly not funny for buying them and if this really is the most important thing in your life (as it would seem to be) then I suggest a large dose of child care so that you can get back to work and meet some real people, who do occassionally talk about things other than their children.