Squid fiasco at Brighton Marina (From The Argus)

as angler since childhood, I can understand the disappointment but that's life, just like the ones that got away

Clearly a case of "Pitting your wits against the fish". And losing miserably. Ha!

seems like a damp squid then

I find it unlikely that they were expecting to catch giant squid...

more like "brown trouts", oh no Poohaven has all those now.

I have to say that although it is a disappointment to the fish catchers that they were unable to haul a mighty leviathan from the deeps, it is a vast improvement from the scandal that tainted this contest a few years back. I arrived upon the back of my Mighty Horse, armed with my hand-woven squid net, which has been the source of many a writhing cephalopod in competitions such as this one in the past.

However, not sooner had the contest begun that I noticed the next fisherman along was rummaging in his rucksack. I eyed him keenly, and noticed that he was PRODUCING A GIANT OCTOPUS from his bag, and was attempting to put it onto the end of his fishing rod! The poor distressed octopus was making yelping noises, as this cruel fisherman thrashed at it with his rod in an attempt to silence the poor beast! Not only was he attempting to cheat at a squid-competition, but he was attacking an innocent cephalopod with a pointed object. I have to say I was filled with indignation! I turned to protest and draw attention to the behaviour of this devious gentleman, and I am sad to say that a scuffle broke out. The strong arm of Spooner flapped at his face, and I would have prevailed, but suddenly, with a great lunge, he TIPPED MY POOR MIGHTY HORSE INTO THE WATER OF THE MARINA!

Without a thought for my own safety, let alone the smooth process of the angling contest, I instantly leapt into the water and began to assist my poor Mighty Horse in his struggle to land. I am sad to say that he is not a strong swimmer (although he has great success bobbing around on the Collosal Inflatable Goose I constructed for him last summer), and it took all my efforts to drag us through the murky water until we were rescued by a rope thrown by an elderly drunk man refreshing himself at the West Quay.

I must declare, I never caught sight of the cruel man with the Spurious Octopus in his backpack, and by a stroke of luck I had accidentally caught a Gigantic Cuttlefish in the sleeve of my coat, and therefore won the Cephalopod Challenge on a technicality. Bravo! Spooner triumphs again!

However, despite this victory, I am saddened that anyone would attempt to cheat in a contest such as this one, and wish all the honest anglers and their tiny squid the best of luck for future events. Bravo tiny squid! Bravo unexpected cuttlefish! Bravo Mighty Horse! Bravo! Bravo! Spooner rides again!

Out done by a sqid! thats natural selection in process.

The squid, on the other hand, had a great success and enjoyed the day...despite the weather.

And there was me waiting with my frying pan and some chopped garlic!

Andre Spooner wrote:
I have to say that although it is a disappointment to the fish catchers that they were unable to haul a mighty leviathan from the deeps, it is a vast improvement from the scandal that tainted this contest a few years back. I arrived upon the back of my Mighty Horse, armed with my hand-woven squid net, which has been the source of many a writhing cephalopod in competitions such as this one in the past.

However, not sooner had the contest begun that I noticed the next fisherman along was rummaging in his rucksack. I eyed him keenly, and noticed that he was PRODUCING A GIANT OCTOPUS from his bag, and was attempting to put it onto the end of his fishing rod! The poor distressed octopus was making yelping noises, as this cruel fisherman thrashed at it with his rod in an attempt to silence the poor beast! Not only was he attempting to cheat at a squid-competition, but he was attacking an innocent cephalopod with a pointed object. I have to say I was filled with indignation! I turned to protest and draw attention to the behaviour of this devious gentleman, and I am sad to say that a scuffle broke out. The strong arm of Spooner flapped at his face, and I would have prevailed, but suddenly, with a great lunge, he TIPPED MY POOR MIGHTY HORSE INTO THE WATER OF THE MARINA!

Without a thought for my own safety, let alone the smooth process of the angling contest, I instantly leapt into the water and began to assist my poor Mighty Horse in his struggle to land. I am sad to say that he is not a strong swimmer (although he has great success bobbing around on the Collosal Inflatable Goose I constructed for him last summer), and it took all my efforts to drag us through the murky water until we were rescued by a rope thrown by an elderly drunk man refreshing himself at the West Quay.

I must declare, I never caught sight of the cruel man with the Spurious Octopus in his backpack, and by a stroke of luck I had accidentally caught a Gigantic Cuttlefish in the sleeve of my coat, and therefore won the Cephalopod Challenge on a technicality. Bravo! Spooner triumphs again!

However, despite this victory, I am saddened that anyone would attempt to cheat in a contest such as this one, and wish all the honest anglers and their tiny squid the best of luck for future events. Bravo tiny squid! Bravo unexpected cuttlefish! Bravo Mighty Horse! Bravo! Bravo! Spooner rides again!

what drugs were you on at the time??

Andre Spooner wrote:
I have to say that although it is a disappointment to the fish catchers that they were unable to haul a mighty leviathan from the deeps, it is a vast improvement from the scandal that tainted this contest a few years back. I arrived upon the back of my Mighty Horse, armed with my hand-woven squid net, which has been the source of many a writhing cephalopod in competitions such as this one in the past.

However, not sooner had the contest begun that I noticed the next fisherman along was rummaging in his rucksack. I eyed him keenly, and noticed that he was PRODUCING A GIANT OCTOPUS from his bag, and was attempting to put it onto the end of his fishing rod! The poor distressed octopus was making yelping noises, as this cruel fisherman thrashed at it with his rod in an attempt to silence the poor beast! Not only was he attempting to cheat at a squid-competition, but he was attacking an innocent cephalopod with a pointed object. I have to say I was filled with indignation! I turned to protest and draw attention to the behaviour of this devious gentleman, and I am sad to say that a scuffle broke out. The strong arm of Spooner flapped at his face, and I would have prevailed, but suddenly, with a great lunge, he TIPPED MY POOR MIGHTY HORSE INTO THE WATER OF THE MARINA!

Without a thought for my own safety, let alone the smooth process of the angling contest, I instantly leapt into the water and began to assist my poor Mighty Horse in his struggle to land. I am sad to say that he is not a strong swimmer (although he has great success bobbing around on the Collosal Inflatable Goose I constructed for him last summer), and it took all my efforts to drag us through the murky water until we were rescued by a rope thrown by an elderly drunk man refreshing himself at the West Quay.

I must declare, I never caught sight of the cruel man with the Spurious Octopus in his backpack, and by a stroke of luck I had accidentally caught a Gigantic Cuttlefish in the sleeve of my coat, and therefore won the Cephalopod Challenge on a technicality. Bravo! Spooner triumphs again!

However, despite this victory, I am saddened that anyone would attempt to cheat in a contest such as this one, and wish all the honest anglers and their tiny squid the best of luck for future events. Bravo tiny squid! Bravo unexpected cuttlefish! Bravo Mighty Horse! Bravo! Bravo! Spooner rides again!

Nurse, the screens.

Thank you Andre Spooner for being the only commenter worth reading on this site! (Yes that includes me too.)