Life changes when you have a baby, as Anna Jefferson knows only too well. With a two-year-old daughter and a new baby, the Brighton-based writer tells us all about the ace parts, the embarrassments and the bits of motherhood people never tell you about . . .

 I have no idea how a full-time mum of two young children does it.

I’ve had one week with both kids while the childminder was on holiday during half-term and I feel like I’ve aged about 15 years.

There’s just so much to think about. It’s the really practical stuff. Like, how do you entertain a two-year-old for five days when the baby is feeding for up to TWO HOURS STRAIGHT?

I know the programming schedule of Channel 5’s early morning children’s viewing, Milkshake, like the back of my hand. Milkshake’s kind of like the chav version of CBeebies; it’s a bit like comparing Sunny Delight and hand-squeezed organic orange juice.

But it’s home to Peppa Pig, meaning my daughter will happily watch it from 6am till 9.30am given the opportunity, so that’s cracking news.

The thing is, you’re almost running on adrenalin on day one and two of half term. I was thinking I’d got the two-child thing nailed. Granted, we couldn’t make it out the house before midday, but at least we were all relatively clean and fed. That’s another thing about being up from ridiculous o’clock. You’re starving by 10.30am, so we had been having lunch at about 11ish. The beginning of the week got off to a flying start. We went to a farm. Drove out of town to see friends who were yet to meet Thomas. Made cakes. Well, Betty Crocker made them, we just added water, but still. Basically, I showed my hand too soon, because by Wednesday, I’d not only run out of ideas I’d totally run out of steam. A whole week is ages to think up fun things to do which also involve a sofa to breastfeed on.

I used to imagine that full-time mums spent their time drinking coffee with friends and watching reruns of Come Dine with Me during the day.

I now think they are a little bit super human.

If I ran a multi-national company and I interviewed a woman for a post who said she’d spent the first few years of her children’s lives looking after them full-time, I’d be, like, yep. You’re hired.

Because if you can do that amount of multi-tasking and leave the house wearing matching shoes, you will be fine at managing a team of people and a multi-million pound budget.

By Thursday, I’d given up trying to find entertaining things to do and bought Frozen on DVD. And by Friday afternoon we’d watched it a total of four times. I never thought I’d be the kind of mother who stuck the TV on when things got a bit trying. But turns out I am.

At least, that is, until we can get the feeding down to less than one hour at a sitting.

On the plus side, my daughter and I can almost duet to Love is an Open Door, and I know all the words to Let It Go, so it’s not like it’s been time wasted.

* Read Anna’s blog at youcantakeherhomenow.co.uk