DESPITE all the bad press teenagers get, Alicia Drummond is a big fan. She loves teenagers and thinks they are fantastic, gorgeous and wonderful. And she probably knows more about them than most people.

Not only is she the mother of two teenage girls Eliza, 18, and 16-year-old Daisy, but she is also a psychotherapist and a director of teen parenting organisation Let’s Talk Teens in East Sussex.

And now the parenting expert has just published Why Every Teenager Needs a Parrot, a practical guide to understanding and parenting 21st century teenagers.

It has been inspired by research carried out by the organisation, which discovered that 43% of parents worry about the access to drugs, alcohol and pornography the internet has created.

Alicia said: “The aim of the book is to help parents find the right balance between letting their teenagers go and keeping them safe.

“I think parenting teenagers has not changed but the internet is a big change. Any teenager who wanted to buy a porn magazine used to have to summon up the bravery to go into a shop and buy one, or nick one from somewhere, and if they wanted drugs, they’d have to find someone on the street who sold them, both of which took quite a lot of planning.

“Now it takes a couple of clicks on the internet to buy something for £1.59 and get it delivered.”

She added: “And any parent trying to disconnect their teen from the internet faces their child being disconnected from their friends and what’s going on, which can be a social disaster for them.

“Parents don’t need to be uber savvy about the internet but they do need to talk to their teens at an early age about the problems they might encounter online and how to deal with them, so they need to know about cybersettings and the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre of the National Crime Agency.”

Alicia lives in East Chiltington in East Sussex with husband Ben, a wine seller, and their daughters. Her interest in teenagers was triggered by a request from a leading school to teach listening skills to its pupils and she now runs workshops for the parents of teenagers in 30 schools.

The survey found that poor communication, learning to say no, managing family dynamics and motivating teenagers are among the challenges facing parents of teens.

Alicia is a firm believer in parents being well prepared for the onslaught of teenage years before their children hit their teens: about 11 for girls and 12 for boys. Empathy is key, even when they’re being, well, teenager-y, listening skills are vital and an ability to defuse teenage anger is necessary.

It’s where the parrot of her book title came from.

Alicia said: “When teenagers are going to experiment, it is rarely when their parents are around.

“The idea is that you have set them up ahead of time with the tools they need to cope with things, and then they keep popping into your teen’s head like their own little parrot.

“For example, if your child is offered drugs, teach them how to say no. You can help them think of a good excuse ahead of time so they’re not caught on the hop.

“If your teen is in a car being driven too fast by someone who’s drunk, you can tell them to say to the driver to stop the car, they’re going to be sick. No one likes vomit in their car.”

She added: “Understanding why your teen is angry is important. When they feel OK, they act OK. If not, then something is bubbling away.

“They are making the transition from dependent child to independent adult,” said Alicia. “Adolescence can be a tricky time for children and parents alike, but it is also one of the most exciting stages of life.”

Why Every Teenager Needs a Parrot: Tips for Parenting 21st Century Teenagers is priced £10.99, available in all good bookshops.

* For more details about Let’s Talk Teens, visit lets-talk.uk.com.