Life changes when you have a baby, as Anna Jefferson knows only too well. With a two-year-old daughter, the Brighton-based writer gave birth to her second child recently. Anna tells us all about the ace parts, the embarrassments and the bits of motherhood people never tell you about...

I think I’m more of a virtual keep-fit kind of person that an actual real life trainers-and-sweat woman. I could spend hours online researching ways to get your pre-baby figure back, while sitting on the sofa eating lasagne between meals.

The thing is, I thought by now I might have been able to get into at least one pair of trousers that I wore pre-pregnancy, just through the power of positive thinking. But alas, no.

Actually, that’s not entirely true.

I have a pair of denim cut-off jeans circa 1993 that I can just about squeeze into, which are so awful even the Bros twins, pictured inset,, would think twice about wearing them. They’re so low-slung I only need to bend over very slightly and I have a builder’s behind.

Not ideal, but at least they’re not maternity jeans. I feel a little like I’ve been holding my breath, waiting for this miraculous body transformation to just happen. And then I can start wearing all the titchy clothes I bid for on eBay in the middle of the night while feeding my son.

Part of the problem is that I know you burn off more calories when breastfeeding, but I can’t remember how many, so I’ve just rounded it up to the nearest thousand. I think I got into bad eating habits during pregnancy, because a part of me thought, ‘I’ve spent the majority of my adult life being conscious of what I’m eating, developing a slightly unhealthy relationship with food - so here was the chance to have nine months of eating what I want, bar a few soft cheeses’.

And I rose to the challenge with the enthusiasm of a two-year-old girl watching Frozen for the hundredth time. Sadly, those bi-hourly Twirls I inhaled for the best part of 40 weeks are a bit tougher to shift at the other end. It’s normally during the 2am feed that I have a moment of inspiration and start Googling mother-and-baby aerobic classes. There have been mornings when I have had at least three emails from personal trainers responding to my enquiries.

But then there’s always a reason to talk myself out of it. The weather’s been totally Biblical recently, so there’s no way I’m traipsing off to the park with a buggy to do plunges in a tropical storm. And then there’s the Monday excuse. There’s no point in starting anything until Monday. Diets. Exercise. Financial planning. Anything, really. So it only takes one mid-week rogue ginger biscuit and I think, ‘Right, that’s this week’s healthy living out the window. But next Monday, I’m going to totally nail it’. With all that in mind, I’ve recently turned my eBay attention to fitness videos. I figured, if I can’t make it the 100 yards to the local park to join an exercise class, then I should attempt to do it in the front room instead. I currently have two DVDs, and another coming soon in the post. The 30 Day Shred looks so terrifying I haven’t even taken the cellophane off yet.

I’ve also downloaded a range of apps that suggest different routines and ask you to submit your daily calorie intake and weekly weight. I’ve done this religiously. Logging all the runs I planned to go on, but didn’t, and imaginary carb-free dinners I would have cooked if I’d had the time. In a virtual fitness world, I’m totally on fire at the moment. In fact according to My Fitness Pal, I’ve lost 10 % of my body weight in the last two weeks. I just need to transfer some of this into real life, but for the moment, well done to the virtual me!

Read Anna's blog at youcantake herhomenow.co.uk and catch up with her here next week.