THERE has been a great deal of speculation as to where the new runway for the South East should be: London Heathrow or London Gatwick.

However, no one has mentioned the obvious place for it, the one that would cause the least noise pollution and, at the same time, cut right back on carbon emissions.

I am, of course, referring to Brighton City Airport or, as it will be known to future generations, London Shoreham.

Just think about it: all take-offs and landings will be over the sea and the vast majority of people having planes screaming low over their rooftops and keeping them awake at night will, in fact, be French!

With this new runway going uphill onto the Downs, aircraft landing will slow down quicker.

On taking off, downhill this time, they will reach take-off velocity far sooner than if the runway was flat, as it would be at Heathrow or Gatwick.

Enormous amounts of fuel will be saved, thus making flights cheaper.

Obviously this masterplan of mine will necessitate the demolition of some South Lancing properties but I have also given this some thought.

Anyone losing their homes will be given a top-of-the-range caravan, together with a top-of-the-range Mercedes towing car, and they will then be able to set up home anywhere they fancy within the borders of Brighton and Hove.

Remember, you heard it here first!

Eric Waters, Ingleside Crescent, Lancing