There are some assistant referee’s I like. Torik Bakhramov for instance he’s Abzerbijanian, you know.

And then there’s the lino who said the ball had crossed the line at home to Cheltenham a few seasons ago. Nice bloke. Although Allan Wright didn’t think it had, and he told the poor linesman for about twenty minutes and, as they walked off the pitch and, in the players’ lounge afterward.

Now I didn’t like assistant referee (not in those days) Colin Downey, who gave a penalty to Manchester United just as the Albion were beginning a fight back, in the 1983 FA Cup Final Replay.

Apparently referee Alf Grey, officially retired on the hour mark of that match, as the FA refused to pay overtime. True story. George Aitkin told me. And Jimmy Melia told him, so it must be true.

But I really really didn’t like last week’s man with the flag, John ‘e famous now’ Farries. Who took it upon himself to flag more wildly than Bernard Cribbins, in the Railway Children. (1970 version) And who attracted the attention of ref Darren Sheldrake and somehow persuaded him that an already dubious decision, that at best took place in the D on the edge of the area, actually occurred in the penalty area it’s self.

How this man could see from his inadvisable position was almost, ALMOST funny.

Realizing he was on Saturday lunchtime telly, he eventually, after some thought, put his flag across his chest and stood there like Fred Scuttle, minus the beret and glasses. Then and only then, he moved in line with where the incident had taken place. Then we had the flag waving, and the consultation with Sheldrake. After which, the ref who had originally given a free kick, albeit in a dangerous position, gave Bournemouth a last minute penalty.

Once the pen had been confirmed, Farries stood there with a cheesier and more revolting grin than John Barrowman. Yes, even he.

Another thing that disappointed me last week was the lack of references to dear old Norman Wisdom. Yes, Paul Samrah and a few fans donned flat caps. But I really thought Richard Hebbard would run up and down opposite H block dressed in a Pitkin cap and ill fitting suit shouting ‘Mr Blooo-m’ Mr Blooo-m, they won’t stop swearing’.

So it’s off to the Valley on Saturday. I went there the last time the Albion won. And the time we won before that on New Year’s Day 1985. When I got home I told my Grandmother the Albion had beaten Charlton. Bobby or Jackie? She replied. No, she wasn’t funny either.

Oh yeah the Argus are up for an award next week, and your truly has been invited along.

So that’s my sorted for a few beers, some tucker and hobnobbing.

Oh actually, I mean thanks for the reads.

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