I have a crush on you.

The City Council has been sensible and not tried to enforce the allotment rules by reducing apple trees to 2 metres. Mine are three to four metres high, do not shadow any other plot and each produces a bountiful 100 to 200 quality apples from Discover and Worcester to Ashmead’s Kernel and Rosemary Russet ( apples to die for and to be planted in every spare space in Brighton.

The problem comes with the glut of windfalls. Any apple that is bruised or hen pecked cannot be stored, while friends and neighbours can only “enjoy” a certain amount of slightly imperfect organic apples, whether they like them or not!

However Harvest have come to the rescue and lent me their wonderful small 50 year old apple press, that was donated to them and came originally from Switzerland.

On Saturday, with Harvest http://harvest-bh.org.uk/ we squeezed and hugged to our hearts content in Preston Park, pressing the flesh to the core, milking the finest juice. It could not be bolted down, so two people had to hold the apple press in position as I slowly but surely turned the screw, crushing and crunching every chopped apple to the core of its existence.

Asked to name two things you can do with an apple, you might say stuff it or blend it into a liquid lather leading to a luxurious leather. L for leather might be better than Hell for leather, as fruit leathers take 12 hours low, slow, glow drying. It’s worth waiting weeks for, as a fruit leather is one of the most sumptuous and sensuous tastes I have ever made.

The honey, plum and apple leather melts in your mouth, is totally organic (www.bhogg.org) and lasts for months kept dry, and sends me high in the sky with diamonds. You’ll never want another nibble again as the smooth soft leather beats sweets and whips cream, until they cry aloud no more, we are crushed.