If an apple a day kept the doctor away, this winter there should be many under-worked and overpaid doctors, who will be eager to repay some of their high income. If you pick your apples early in the morning then you should also be healthy, wealthy and wise. This year’s weather could be the coalition's best way of reducing public expenditure and making a better Britain.

There are a few obstacles in the way of the coalition. First of all, Tesco and Asda would have to close, while Sainsbury’s supermarkets (which allegedly exist to keep the riff-raff out of Waitrose) would have to buy from local farmers. Lewes Farmers’ Market, near the Lewes County Courts that could be trying a supermarket under heath and safety regulations, would rule supreme every day and not just on Fridays.

I cannot recall such a bountiful year for fruit for those who have their own allotment or garden with fruit trees. The hard winter, so cruel to pests, followed by those sunny, bee days of April, the summer sunshine and the swelling Augustine rain could not have been ordered on the internet.

First there were the plums, the golden and the red Mirabelle plums, small but beautifully formed, then there were the honeydewed gages, so sweet - almost sickly sweet -with wasps falling from them in a stupor of gluttony, never to return. The Victoria plums, fit for a Queen, purpled the sky with more subtle and sustainable pleasures.

The apples were amazing. Always adorable but abundant too; discovering the first pink fleshed Discovery, crunching the first slightly acidic Worcester, while savouring its wonderful change of taste from week to week. Coxes Pippins that are too good to keep, the broad shouldered Adam’s Permain, King of Pippins, surpassed only by Hugh Fearnley Wittingstall’s favourite- Ashmeads Kernel, a firm, lasting apple or my own favourite Rosemary Russet, which has a smooth skin, but a crisp russet taste, with hints of lemon and pineapple.

This year I have been given a fabulous gypsy apple picking basket, similar to the ones used in the 19th and early 20th century by migrant crop pickers. Perhaps they would have been joined a coalition with my grandmother, who spent her two weeks holiday from the east end of London, harvesting fruit and earning a few pence to pay for their keep and their coach fare, to escape the pollution for fresh healthy air.

The gypsy basket is designed to sit on your hip, with cleverly designed, reinforced holes to allow it to be strapped through your belt leaving your hands free to hold the tree and pick the fruit. This basket is made of stripped willow, probably used intensively for one season and then discarded and a new one made the next year from the same local willow. In the photos it is overflowing with the bountiful, the beautiful Rosemary Russet.

If you want to enjoy prettily paraded, perfectly presented, promotionally priced, petrolly transported, apples sprayed and re-sprayed 10 or 20 times, you know where to go . . . every little hurts.

If you want to reduce health expeditures with some slightly imperfect, simply delicious local apples plant your own apple tree or join BHOGG, www.bhogg.org where every little heals.

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