I suspect that all those involved in last week’s episode of Celebrity Wife Swap thought they had it in the bag by pairing up Rhona Cameron and Stan Boardman. He caused controversy in the 80s. She had a pop at most of her fellow contestants in that jungle show. How will Stan cope with gobby Rhona stomping into his castle, criticising the contents of his fridge and dishing out verbal warnings every time he says something offensive about a minority group? Will somebody end up on an assault charge?

Yet within ten minutes of Rhona arriving, Stan was waxing lyrical about the benefits of bisexuality –“she’s got a New Zealand girlfriend, which is ok, but she likes fellas as well, so you know, best of both worlds.” Not quite the reaction everybody was hoping for.

Happily, his wife Viv had a proper shock when she finally deduced that Rhona’s partner Suran was in fact, a woman. “They’re lesbians?! Where am I going to sleep? Will she expect me to sleep with her?” No Viv, it’s not that kind of wife swap.

The combination of Stan and Rhona proved disappointingly limp. Instead of ear-shattering rows about human rights and lifestyle choices, Rhona lambasted Stan about his fondness for ready meals. He lamented her inability to do his washing. Despite declaring at the start of the programme that he won’t put up with bossy women, Rhona wore Stan down remarkably quickly and with very little fuss. Yawn.

Most of the action was centred in the other camp, where Viv was finding same-sex partnerships something of a struggle to accept. Suran organised a series of meet ‘n’ greets with her friends to broaden Viv’s suburban horizons. But down-trodden Viv got carried away with the opportunity to have a conversation about something other than ‘what’s for tea?’ After getting on very well with everybody for most of the evening, she put her brain into reverse and voiced the shocking opinion that homosexuality was similar to paedophilia. The silence that followed this was as cold and impenetrable as Viv’s marble work surfaces back at home. Which is probably where she was frantically wishing she was at the time. For the rest of the week, Viv does her utmost to be open-minded, but she’s probably lost herself a few civil partnership invites.

Of course, Wife Swap isn’t just about arguing. There is an opportunity for both couples to examine their own relationships. Rhona quickly deduced that Stan and Viv were in trouble. He’d only bought her one bunch of flowers in 41 years of marriage. However, after a crash course in ‘how to treat your wife like she actually matters’, he was paying compliments, knocking up romantic brunches and attempting to get domestic. As he fought to draw the curtains, it became clear that a crash course in ‘how to perform simple household tasks without assistance’ would also be necessary. Still, Viv seemed pleased with the results, as she proudly announced that Stan is now capable of making her a cup of tea. Bet he’s still mystified by those curtains though.

Rhona and Suran have only been together for 18 months. Hence, they were still interested in each other, both physically and intellectually. They find each others little habits endearing. There was nothing they wanted or needed to change.

I’d like to see these two on another episode in about 20 years time and find out if Suran still thinks Rhona’s constant twiddling with the window blinds and re-arranging the fruit bowl is ‘cute’. Right now, they are far too happy and in love to make really interesting television. If it ain’t broke, why film it?