Dumped on Facebook

2:34pm Saturday 23rd January 2010

By Jennie Wallace - the dating dilemma

Being dumped is horrible, especially if you don’t see it coming. It could be compared to crossing the road, having looked left and right and being quite confident that there was nothing coming, only to step out in front of a big red bus, that has no intention of stopping.

There are many ways to dump someone. When you are at school your boyfriend might get his mate to do it (the mate is also probably the one that asked you out on his behalf in the first place). As you get older boys and girls quite often do the ‘I am going to be purposely horrible until you finish with me’ or ‘I just won’t call and you’ll get the message’.

As technology has evolved, the ways in which you can finish with someone has changed. These days you can do it with few words and without having to actually see them – avoiding any sort of ‘awkward’ situation. I have to admit to dumping one boyfriend by text and another by email (sorry). I remember the text that I got back in particular, that read ‘I didn’t think that you were the dump-by-text type of girl’. Neither did I, but I was.

No one likes confrontation or having ‘that’ chat, but surely we owe it to the person whose hand we have held, the person who we have spent cosy nights in with and outrageous nights out with, the courtesy and respect of doing it properly. I am not sure what the ‘right’ way of doing it actually is (unless it is amicable – it is never going to the right time or way), but anything can be better than being dumped so impersonally.

I cannot write this without mentioning Facebook – again (see Facebook Relationships). If you Google ‘dumped on Facebook’ you will be astounded at what you can find.

‘The Time I was Dumped on Facebook: Breaking Up in the Digital World’ - it certainly makes me feel a bit better about being so callous – nothing could be worse than being dumped on Facebook.

One story reads how a chap was dumped one night by his girlfriend – but he knew it was coming. Not because he felt it in his bones that things just weren’t right, but because her friends had been writing ‘Good luck with tonight. It’s for the best’ and ‘You are better off without him’ support messages on her Facebook wall all day.

These posts came flooding through his notifications and so when she called and asked to meet up later that evening, it was obvious to him what awaited. After he met his fate, came the ‘Congratulations’ Facebook posts from her well wishers.

Wound. Open. Salt. Pour.

Another story that seems to be a recurring theme is someone not having quite ended their relationship, only to change their Facebook status and in doing so, alert the other member of the party to their imminent doom. One chap changed his status to single, making clear his intentions to his girlfriend and another changed his to ‘in a relationship with [insert girls name]’ and NOT name of current girlfriend. Faux pas or what?

There can be no good way of ending a relationship, but even a ‘Dear John’ letter, explaining your reasons would be better than Facebook.

Alternatively, should you no longer wish to be in said relationship, and to avoid all possible uncomfortable situations, you can enter the witness protection program or become a pirate.

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