On certain occasions when I’ve been out in public with my terrible toddler twosome (my sweet little devils are currently aged 22 months and 3.5 years), I’ve metaphorically pulled out my hair at their antics and thought “this should be filmed and shown to teenagers so they won’t want to get pregnant”.

Particular ‘horror movie’ incidents spring to mind, such as when my youngest son screamed and thrashed on the floor of McDonalds for an entire 45 minutes while the other mums viewed the spectacle in horror. And the incident in a supermarket which didn’t provide a trolley to seat two toddlers side-by-side: hence my oldest son was inside the trolley with all the groceries, trampling on bread rolls and bombarding the aisles with Baby Bel mini-cheeses and cherry tomatoes. I thought we’d be asked to leave.

Furthermore, the prospect of supervising two lively infants in a confined space, such as on a plane during a three-hour flight when they’ve eaten sugar and don’t want to sit still, would have a certain lack of appeal for teenagers who would presumably rather relax with their iPod and celebrity magazine.

My ‘video nasty’ would dispel the image that infants are like dolls that you can dress up and play with for a while, in between watching Jeremy Kyle and having your mates round for alcopops and a snog.

It’s clear that the UK’s existing approach to cutting teen pregnancies isn’t working, with the number of conceptions in Brighton and Hove rising to 40.9 per 1,000 amongst 15 to 17-year olds. It appears that throwing the teens some condoms, which they clearly don’t use, and giving them sexual health checks isn’t pushing the right buttons.

I’m of the opinion that a more ‘heavyweight’ approach is needed… a two-prong approach. This would firstly involve the teens being taken into their local hospital to view a birth at first-hand: after all, as any mother will testify, there’s nothing less glamourous and more painful than a birth.

Secondly, the teens would spend carefully supervised time in a childcare setting, such as a nursery or playgroup, with screaming babies, hyperactive infants and troublesome toddlers aged nought to five. They would be party to everything from changing nappies, dressing wriggling infants that are hell-bent on doing something else, to coping with ‘stereo screaming’ from multiple toddlers simultaneously.

And the staff should strongly emphasise that this goes on 24/7 for, oooh, a few years – so no time to fiddle with your iPod, play on your Wii console or watch ‘Skins’, which definitely makes teen sex look big and clever. And then, just maybe, we’d start to see teens avoiding a few minutes of fun that leads to a lifetime of commitment they’re not ready to face.

It’s undoubtedly true that youngsters think sex is ‘cool’: meanwhile, celebrities, TV shows and magazines are being blamed for glamourising it and making it more accessible. Well, they do glamourise sex but I think the reason for teen pregnancy goes far deeper than that: it’s cultural here in the UK, just like youth drinking and binge drinking.

In other European countries, such as Spain, there’s more of a focus on family and (shock horror) family values. Different generations of a family tend to stick together in the home and becoming a single mum at 17 isn’t seen as a good plan and it’s not a way to gain a council flat either: within the culture, it’s viewed as a very bad plan indeed.

Although I’m 37, I was accused of being “loco” by a 20-year-old shop assistant in Andalusia for having two children outside a stable (married) relationship. “You don’t have a husband,” he asked, amazed. You wouldn’t hear that here. People would be too busy dishing out condoms and free advice leaflets that tell you where to obtain the morning after pill.

Just as with attitudes towards binge drinking, we can’t change the culture in Blighty overnight. So, before the situation gets any worse, we should give the youngsters a ‘reality check’ (instead of some more reality TV shows): a ‘short, sharp shock’ involving exposure to labour (I don’t mean Gordon Brown here) and its responsibility-laden aftermath. I suspect that my method would be more effective than condoms, morning after pills and "biology focused" sex education at helping the powers-that-be cut conception rates amongst the under-18s.