Loo Reviewer visits the Royal Pavilion toilets in Brighton

To keep an eye on Brighton and Hove's facilities as Healthmatic departs, The Argus has enlisted the help of the Loo Reviewer to flush out any issues.

He will be plunging into toilets across the city to investigate, letting you which loos to drop in on, and which to dump.

Introduction

The Royal Pavilion is an exotic regal palace with a colourful history. So perhaps it's only fitting for the nearby loos to have a colourful history of their own.

This paper has long reported the horrors that have faced those brave enough to venture into the council loos at the southern perimeter of the gardens.

Just last year "disgusted" toilet-goers complained of wild ivy growing from the ceiling. The green foliage was providing the backdrop to a series of anti-social behaviour reports.

Considering we're creating our Loo Review series to keep tabs on the state of our facilities, we thought 'what a perfect place to start'.

Stepping inside

You can find the loos from the south side of the Royal Pavilion Gardens or by heading past the Sabai Thai restaurant in Princes Place, near a large row of commercial bins.

Stepping inside the gents, you're greeted with an overpowering smell of urine.

There were no immediate signs of urine on the floor that would explain the stench, unlike the 'ice rink of p***' at the Western Esplanade toilets, which the council had to apologise for last week.

The row of sinks were topped up with soap and all the urinals looked in working order.

The hand dryers are working too – a success considering the facilities reportedly had no hand dryer in the men’s toilets for four months prior to the pandemic.

And as for the Pavilion Garden toilets' aforementioned issues, I'm happy to report that the wild ivy has been removed from the ceiling.

Though perhaps it was a more pleasant sight than the large swathes of black mould which seem to have taken its place. Mould could also been on many other surfaces.

There were no immediate signs of any antisocial behaviour.

However, a man was brushing his teeth using one of the sinks, which I thought was a little odd, but certainly not worth an Asbo.

Graffiti

The Loo Reviewer then headed into the cubical on the far side and was greeted with a solid seat. While the bowl itself seemed well-kept. No complaints on that front.

Also very impressive was a working lock on the door - an important feature often overlooked in some pub toilets around the city.

A flimsy lock has often turned an otherwise pleasant experience into a nightmare.

However, I was concerned with the door's hinges, one of which had been completely torn off.

We have previously reported how the loos were among the worst affected by vandalism in the city – a problem which has cost the taxpayer tens of thousands of pounds.

There was a range of graffiti covering the toilet door. Some people have felt the need to daub inane tags on the wall, while others political messages.

There's an ACAB scribble and a link to a website that promised to prove that Covid is a "hoax".

Ironically enough, when I later visited the website, I was met with an article titled "not led by science".

In the toilets there was also a phone number to be called for "for bang s***".

With the internet now allowing people with acquired tastes to connect with each other online for activities, I would have thought scribbling your number on the back of a toilet door is a dying art.

Either way, I'll be collecting the numbers I find for a potential report in the future.

Hole in the wall

Looking behind me, I found a large gap where the toilet connects to the wall and peering inside you could see the pipe which connects down into the sewage.

Scouring the back wall further, I found another gap – this time, a bizarre circular hole that had been filled with toilet paper.

To satisfy my curiosity, I nervously pulled out the paper to see what lay behind. I was relieved to find only more toilet paper, this time too far away for me to pull out.

Why a public toilet would need a hole in the wall is beyond me. Perhaps it's to provide a view of the row of commercial bins?

Equally bizarre were the sounds coming from the person using the toilet next to me.

The man was sneezing and audibly walking around the cubical while listening to a podcast on speaker.

He was also mercilessly tearing sheets from the holder with a wanton abandon that can only be found in public loos where the bill is picked up by the taxpayer.

I'm not sure if this was connected to reports I've heard of homeless people sometimes using public toilets as a place to wash in privacy, which is understandable.

Overview

Certainly not the horror show that has greeted users before. All facilities were in good working order, albeit looking slightly scruffy, and they had obviously been recently cleaned.

However, the abundance of mould points to issues which can't be fixed with a deep clean and the strong smell of urine certainly is not fit for a king's palace's loos.

Condition - potential issues causing mould, graffiti, holes in the walls

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Cleanliness - no obvious signs of dirt or urine, despite the smell. Mould on many upper areas

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Facilities - everything you needed

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Atmosphere - people are seemingly using the toilets for other activities

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Overall

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A council spokesman said: “We recently agreed to spend £2.7 million to refurbish key toilets in some of the busiest and most prominent areas of the city.

“The Pavilion Gardens loos are one of 11 across the city that will benefit from this investment.

“We know work is needed to improve our public toilets. So we are pleased this investment will put us back on track, providing a higher quality service for residents and visitors alike.”

“Our Cityclean team is taking over day to day toilet cleaning duties from our current contractor as of the end of this coming January.

“This will ensure we have direct management and better accountability for the condition of our public toilets.”