Janey Godley answers The Guide's big comedy questions.

What were you most scared of as a child? Nuns, clowns and those creepy park keepers who sat in wee booths in swing parks staring at kids intently.

What is the funniest thing you’ve ever seen or heard? The funniest thing I ever seen was when my husband stood on a plank of wood with a nail on one end which went in his foot, he screamed and flicked back his foot where a nail in the other end stuck into his bum.

What would people be most surprised to learn about you? That George Clooney kissed me outside a gent’s toilet.

What would you be doing if you weren’t a comic? I would be a very angry unfulfilled housewife.

What’s your biggest regret? I don’t really regret much in my life, I am sad that my mother never got to see me on stage though.

What’s your solution for world peace? No religion, clichéd as it may sound it’s the truth.

What’s your worst habit? Chewing the ends of my hair.

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had and how did you get it? I had to get pins put in my broken leg after I got hit by a car on the way to receive my Brownie badge for road safety.

What would you change about yourself if you could? I’d probably like it if my skin still fit me.

What’s the greatest thing money can’t buy and the greatest thing it can? The greatest thing money can’t buy is my daughter (she’s far too principled) and the greatest thing it can buy… George Clooney’s phone number.

Can you sum up your latest show in 25 words? Funny woman talks about things she saw and things she did, no whimsy- no emotional hair- no preaching politics just me talking funny.

How do you keep the show fresh when performing night after night? I get hypnotherapy every day to forget the material and then spend the night onstage horrified trying to recall it - am joking... I just make up bits and throw them in.

www.janeygodley.com