It is now 20 years since texting began. I have still not properly embraced it. And it's nothing to do with age or gender, so don't accuse me of stereotyping old women. There is nothing wrong with our brains or manual dexterity. I have excellent eye/hand/brain co-ordination, thank you very much, because I play the piano, which means I have to make endless super-rapid decisions and finger movements. I can because I have practised for decades. But I haven't practised texting, because it's a skill I can't be fagged to acquire.

Here's why. Yesterday the Daughter texted. She needed a lift to carry a large package somewhere and then proceed to the dentist. Could I pick her up in 10 minutes? No I couldn't. But as I had my hands in the dog's dinner when she texted, I had to stop dog-cooking, wash and dry hands, pick up mobile, read text, answer it – which I can do, but slowly – saying I needed half an hour, then return to dog's dinner, resume picking out the skin and bones, when "ping", another text. Daughter had replied at the speed of light. More hand-washing, drying, picking up phone. Could I please bring Daughter's blue gloves and glasses and did I have any spare bread?..