***

There’s one portion of male anatomy which is small, pink, retractable and causes a great deal of trouble - and it isn’t the tongue.

It is not often in full view on stage at the Theatre Royal, still less often as the star of the show.

It took Simon and Ditchie, two unimaginably uninhibited, stark naked Australians to wave theirs about. And as if that wasn’t enough, a camera man flashed their contortions, greatly magnified, on to a screen.

There was no getting away from it – and no limit to the possibilities that stretching, twisting or manipulating it could produce.

Who would have dreamt it could make impressions of a squirrel, pelican, joey in the pouch or, star of the show, a hamburger?

Odd small props were involved in becoming Kim Kardashian or Donald Trump but mostly, it spoke – or shouted – for itself.

One brave girl from the audience found herself peering where few have peered before as Ditchie upended himself before her, naked legs and wicked grin spread equally wide.

It was deliciously vulgar and hugely enjoyed by a bumper audience of hen parties and liberal minded theatre goers.

Ria Lina warmed up with comic charm – but she kept her clothes on.