PubSpy: A warm welcome and a sea view at The Amsterdam

I’d been called into Argus HQ and held up a good bit longer than I’d hoped, so I was pretty hungry by the time the ed had released me.

As a result I found myself literally round the corner in the Amsterdam Bar and Kitchen for a bite of lunch and a couple of swift pick me ups.

The place looked bright and welcoming and provided a pleasant respite from the howling wind outside.

Ironically the barmaid had just returned from a trip home to Toledo in Spain where she was hoping for “better than Brighton” weather but had faced several centimetres of snow – ah well, you can’t win ’em all.

I was in on the stroke of noon and, perusing the taps, decided upon a pint of Sharp’s Wolf Rock. This is a red IPA, weighing in at 4.5 per cent.

The red colour fitted quite well as having been in for a few minutes I became aware I was surrounded by a good deal of crushed red velvet, not to mention a fair amount of gold bling.

The first sip was incredibly pleasant and it just got better as it went on. I could describe it to you myself but the glass it was served in very helpfully had it all written down already – what a great idea.

And it was “ripe, fruity and roasted spice, sweet with subtle bitterness. Refreshing with a dry citrus finish”. Perhaps all beers should describe themselves on their glasses?

I also ordered a jacket potato with tuna and beans.

The place had a fair few staff pottering around busying themselves with various tasks but there was only one other punter in. He was sat on a stool at the bar wearing a coat and an NYPD beanie hat – he couldn’t believe I was just in a shirt and said it made him feel cold just looking at me.

The jacket arrived and was excellent, served with crisp, fresh salad, perfectly cooked and delicious – it also arrived in good time.

I sat at a high table for lunch to enjoy the sea view and decided it would be a great place to visit in the summer, the front terrace must get packed.

There are plenty of screens around the place, presumably to show sport, but each has its own picture frame surround – this just adds to the feeling of bling. At least one was showing a roaring log fire, possibly to warm up NYPD beanie man.

It might have a gold-fronted bar, but the rest of the decoration isn’t too over stated. Personally I’m not a fan of the stars with lights in the window, they just spoil the view.

The staff were all wearing Amsterdam T shirts and looked well turned out – it was at this point I realised the only person in the place not sporting a salt and pepper beard was the Spanish barmaid.

There was a Cool Brighton T shirt on the wall that was for sale and a toilet sign featuring three different characters – what they were clear about was that you need to be a paying customer to use them.

Other signs offered cocktails at two for £15, a venom fishbowl for the same price and a very special offer for Valentine’s – two people, three courses and a bottle of Prosecco for £50 – it didn’t offer two courses for three people.

As a paying customer I headed to the facilities which, while a little compact, were spotlessly clean and well kept. In a small bucket by the wash basin was a full potpourri of sexual sensibleness – not only do you get a free condom, but also the lube and a whole host of informative instructions. I took a wrong turning out of the gents and found myself in a hotel lobby, I didn’t even realise it was a hotel.

Back in the bar we’d been joined by another friendly beanie hat on an even older man but, as he was very quick to point out, he’d only popped in to say hello and would be back later. Fleeting as it was, he seemed very nice.

It was only as I reached across to drain the last of my Red that I noticed what a lovely bunch of daffs there were on my table, on every table in fact.

Also, I spotted that the only paper on offer in the newspaper rack was a Sun – NB to ed, you need to get The Argus into Amsterdam.

The only other thing I can tell you is that Friday is cabaret night and there seems to be a small raised stage on the right hand side of the bar for whatever entertainment is on offer.

I didn’t expect to visit The Argus and end up in Amsterdam, but it was a pleasant experience.

Decor: ★★★ Plenty of bling without being too over the top – ditch the stars

Drink: ★★★★★ It did what it said on the tin, well on the glass to be more accurate

Price: ★★★★ A great jacket, tuna and beans for £6.85, the Wolf was £4.40 – very reasonable

Atmosphere: ★★★ Very friendly and welcoming, I bet the evenings are great

Staff: ★★★★ Efficient, productive, pleasant – great beards.

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