Paul Foot is known across the country for his zany and quirky comedy. Jamie Walker speaks to him, and tries to make sense of what his upcoming tour is all about.

Hi Paul, let’s start simply. For people who haven’t seen you before, how would you describe your brand of comedy?

My comedy is always changing and always moving, like a migrating whale.

You see a blast of air coming up from the water, and you think you know where it is, but then it dives down again, and when you see the next blast of air it’s more than 13 miles away.

It’s a nightmare to track really, but it will always surprise you. I guess that’s what’s so wonderful about whales.

How much are you looking forward to this run of shows?

Very much indeed. I love performing comedy. It is my life and my job and my hobby, and I love crafting a new show and taking it all around the country performing it to my connoisseurs, and new people who discover my humour.

I literally cannot wait to start the tour. Obviously I will have to wait, that is the nature of linear time as we know it, but that is my cross to bear.

I notice you’ve changed the names of the months for your press release, for example October is listed as Octopus. Are you concerned that your fans may get confused and start looking for some magical Octopus which can host a comedy gig?

Ah, that is an interesting question, but you have made a slight miscalculation. I haven’t changed the names of the months for my press release, I have always used those names.

Those are the months of the Paul Foot calendar, and I want it to take over the whirled. I’m sick to death of stupid old Gregorian. April and May?

Boring. Much better to have Apricot and Mayonnaise. Inject a little decadence into things, which, as it happens is the name of the twelfth month of the Paul Foot calendar.

You’ve been described as an “exotic bird”, if that was true what type of bird would you be?

Ooh, a very personal question. I usually don’t discuss matters of a personal nature, but I will make an exception this once.

A scarlet ibis perhaps, or a toucan, or a long-headed Honduran seagull. Yes. My name could be Toucan. Toucan O’Reilly.

Do you enjoy playing in Brighton?

I love playing in Brighton. And also Hove. I’m not entirely sure what the difference is, but you’ve got to be careful. One minute you’re in Brighton, and you think you know where you are, and you turn a corner and you’re all of a sudden in Hove.

It’s very disorienting, like going through a wormhole. I always complete a two-week intensive astronaut training course before coming to Brighton, in case I leap through spacetime into Hove by accident.

It’s pretty difficult, getting spun around in all those centrifuges for hours on end, but it’s worth it for the wonderful audiences of Brighton and/or Hove.

What do you think makes the city such a hub for comedy?

The seagulls.

So why should people come and see Paul Foot?

That depends. There are various different reasons one might wish to come and sample my humour. Maybe you’re stuck in a dead-end marriage and you want to learn the best way to organise a suburban orgy.

The trick really is to get the catering right, then everything else just falls into place, sometimes literally. Or maybe you’re a fan of the Royal family who needs to hear some harsh home truths.

Or maybe you’re just sick to death of watching Masterchef and just want to get out of the house, you’ll be pleased to hear my piece of humour entitled Gregg Wallace: Story of A Bald Grocer. All of these are perfectly valid reasons to come and see my humour, although you don’t have to specifically fit into one of these categories.