Fancy a pint at 5am with your fry-up? Why not?

We had been to visit family in Spain for a few days and I was already planning what I was going to eat as soon as I got through the front door as travelling always makes me ravenous.

The stranger’s Domino’s comment made me smile, as there are certain rules that apply to holiday travel, whether on the outbound journey or on your way home.

Airport rules are like no other for a start, because the time of day apparently becomes completely immaterial as soon as you arrive.

All time zones blend into one as thousands of people from countries all over the world hang out in the same space for a few hours.

The moment you step through those automatic doors and head to the check-in desk, the world is pretty much your oyster and anything goes.

Whether it is 5am or 7pm, being in an airport gives you licence to drink or eat anything your heart desires.

I always marvel at people having a pint with their fry-up at the crack of dawn.

It just would not happen on any other Wednesday in April.

Then there is the shopping, as airports are increasingly like malls these days so I now have to give myself pocket money to spend before I even get on the plane.

I find myself disappearing into a hole in the book section of WH Smith, getting pulled from one “great holiday read” to the next.

The truth of the matter is, I have barely finished a whole book since becoming a parent.

You know how it goes, you open it up and, 20 seconds later, you will inevitably be interrupted by a request for snacks, drinks, the toilet or help with shoelaces, inside-out jeans, the answer to one of the world’s greatest mysteries.

How do kids do that? How do those completely random, abstract and sometimes deeply philosophical questions pop into their tiny heads when you thought they were engrossed in Go Jetters?

Bang on cue, as I finished that sentence, my son asked me for a drink of water, so up I got for the tenth time.

Attempting any sort of task that requires concentration while your kids are off school is basically a non-starter.

Anyway, back to the airport.

So you have had your full English and a Bloody Mary, or oysters and champagne if you go posh, and are ready to board.

I am not the most confident flyer so I spend the journey looking serene and relaxed on the outside, while silently screaming in terror on the inside.

Take-off is the worst for me but, like many parents, I keep a lid on it so my son is blissfully unaware of my largely irrational fears.

I pay so much attention to the safety demonstration, I could probably perform one for you right now if you wanted me to.

In fact I secretly have always wanted to do one, it does look really fun aside from the, frankly terrifying, subject matter.

Weirdly I do still like the quirks of air travel, like choosing from the snack menu and perusing the shopping magazine, knowing full well I would never purchase anything from it in a million years. Does anyone?

Other holiday rules we adhered to while we were away involved behaving like Brits abroad, whether we meant to or not.

It was a balmy 20 degrees in southern Spain last weekend.

So, as I am sure we will all be doing here in the UK this weekend, we rolled out our summer wardrobes and then hit the beach to soak up some spring rays.

The locals were still in big coats and scarves and there we were in swimwear, shorts and flip-flops, slapping on the factor 50.

You can never be too careful.

Another absolute must on holiday is the obligatory trip to the supermarket, where you are officially allowed to buy as many crisps and sweets as you like, especially the ones you cannot get at home.

Who does not love a bag of Lay’s?

I have only recently learned they are actually Walkers under a different name, but they really do taste different abroad. Weird.

By the time you leave your holiday destination though, most of us are craving our familiar home comforts, weary from travelling and dreading the task of unpacking and endless washing.

It might be Domino’s pizza for the lady on the plane, but for me it is beans on toast and a nice strong cup of tea.

Call me old fashioned, but no one in the world can make one of those as well as we can.