THE mother of murdered schoolgirl Nicola Fellows has spoken of her ongoing heartbreak.

Returning to Brighton’s Wild Park where her daughter was strangled by Russell Bishop and dumped in the undergrowth with her best friend Karen Hadaway, Susan Eismann says she will never come to terms with what happened.

As a new book is published into the 32-year battle for justice in the so-called Babes in the Woods case, Susan said: “Only now can the little girls rest in their angel beds.”

But she does not know if she will ever even begin to get over her daughter’s brutal murder.

Nicola was only in her life for nine years. Susan has battled for justice for three times that.

Her daughter would be a grown woman today – she should be turning 42.

But Susan said she had been unable to have any more children or even cuddle her nieces because of her heartache.

Susan, who is about to turn 70, also lost her eldest child Jonathan – just weeks before Bishop went on trial last year.

Speaking exclusively to The Argus she said: “It’s a wicked world out there. My son Jonathan died. He would have been devastated.

“I have lost my two children. It is hard to think I had two children and have lost them both.

“There is nothing I can do about it and I will never get over it.

“When I heard Bishop’s sentence and they said 35 years I thought ‘that isn’t a lot’.

“We have already had almost 35 years and he is only now facing justice for what he did to Nicky and Karen.

“It still feels so raw to me. There is no chance of closure yet.

“People think I’m coping, but I’m not. I now have two children’s graves to go to. It sounds silly but I still talk to her. I get tearful.

“I wanted Jon laid to rest as close to Nicky and Karen as possible. I couldn’t have had any more children after Nicky was killed. I don’t like coming to the park. I go to the cemetery to think about Nicky.”

The families have held a vigil at the nearest hawthorn bush to where Karen and Nicola’s bodies were found on the anniversaries of their deaths for 32 years.

Susan and her former husband Barrie were friends with the man who murdered their daughter.

Russell Bishop had been a lodger in their home and when he was acquitted the community pointed the finger of suspicion at Barrie.

The family had to leave Moulsecoomb after their home was graffitied and Barrie now lives in Cheshire, still unable to face coming back.

“One person took my life and happiness away from me,” Susan said.

“Nine years of a life, it’s no life at all.”

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