ONE imagines Boris Johnson went back to Downing Street on Wednesday night and ate a large slice of humble pie before pouring himself a stiff drink.

With the country facing arguably its biggest constitutional crisis since Edward VIII decided he would rather bonk Wallis Simpson than be King, we were greeted with surreal scenes beamed live from the House of Commons.

At one point during the seemingly never-ending debate, Jacob Rees-Mogg appeared to doze off, sloth like, as he stretched his gangling frame across one of the green benches. It was difficult not to feel sympathy for him.

MPs, whether they favour Leave or Remain, are little more than rabble-rousers, bellowing insults at each other across the political divide.

There could be no fence sitting on this occasion.

With Speaker John Bercow struggling to keep control, it was becoming increasingly clear Johnson was facing a mutiny on his own benches and defeat was staring him in the face.

Having repeatedly stated Britain will leave the European Union on October 31 “come what may” it is now patently clear we will not. The Tory rebels have made sure of that. But boy, what a price they paid.

A frantic Johnson, having lost the vote, then rose to his feet, clearly punch drunk, and offered the prospect of an election to try and resolve the impasse. Jeremy Corbyn smirked, and with good reason. He has his political nemesis between a rock and a hard place. “Yes, you can call an election” he retorted. “But only once a No Deal is taken off the table”.

That was another key moment in this increasingly unedifying spectacle.

Everyone who has taken an interest in politics for as long as I have knows Corbyn hates the European Union as much as Count Dracula loathes daylight.

Don’t believe me? Then read some of the speeches he made back in the 1980s.

But like most politicians, Corbyn is an opportunist, pure and simple.

He knows full well taking an anti-EU stance will divide his party and send it into complete meltdown, much like the Tories.

Boris Johnson, meanwhile, has lost his majority and has withdrawn the whip from 21 of his own MPs, effectively ending their careers as Conservative politicians.

Those facing permanent exclusion include such luminaries as Kenneth Clarke, Philip Hammond, Rory Stewart and Sussex MP Sir Nicholas Soames, the grandson of Winston Churchill, ironically one of Boris Johnson’s most notable political heroes.

Never mind what was going on in the chamber, though. Outside it was all kicking off too.

The Remain contingent was in full voice, draped in EU flags and brandishing placards with slogans, including “democracy is dead” and “we demand a people’s vote”.

Equally vocal were the Leave supporters, invariably wrapped in the Union Flag, and giving it large too.

United Kingdom? It has never been more divided. Of course, the Brussels bureaucrats are loving every moment of this as politicians of all hues stumble from one disaster to the next.

Just over a year ago I proclaimed I would never vote again, and I meant it.

I made my decision not because of voter apathy but because I could not take any of our politicians seriously, be it Theresa May shuttling fruitlessly between London and Belgium to try to “thrash out” a deal as the opposition repeatedly thwarted her, thus leaving us in the unholy predicament we now find ourselves in, while Labour, with no coherent solution, resorted to the playground tactic of booing and hissing.

It is easy to visualise a fuming Boris Johnson back in Number Ten with his partner Carrie, her muttering platitudes while our Prime Minister, his Churchillian ambitions going up in smoke, tries to decide whether to stroke his new puppy or kick it when it urinates on the carpet.

For anyone who loves politics and erudite debate these are dark days indeed.

Believe me, I am no Tory. Indeed I have never voted Conservative in my life.

But it is a crying shame to see politicians of the calibre of Philip Hammond, Ken Clarke and Sir Nicholas Soames thrown onto the political scrapheap by a vengeful Boris Johnson.

Come the election, and come it will, the Brexit Party and its charismatic leader Nigel Farage will throw their hats in the ring too, stirring up the hornets’ nest even more. Want to know who to vote for? Why not just roll the dice.