“BRIGHT, spacious... and kinky.” It’s not a term in the average estate agent’s lexicon. But then this isn’t your average flat.
The property in Cumberland Court is Brighton’s answer to the Fifty Shades of Grey playroom: an unassuming seafront flat jam-packed with sex toys, coital sofas and wall-to-wall erotica.
Lettings agents Roxana Baneila and Julia Maria have agreed to show me around.
They’re waiting in the kitchen. Aside from a suggestive poster (a piece of fruit shaped like a vulva), this room – at least – is fairly normal.
Julia said: “The modern two-bedroom flat is in a prime location close to the seaside, and it’s very light and airy. It’s one of Brighton’s real gems. But it’s not your typical property.”
The main room is up first.
There’s a huge circular bed slap-bang in the middle, and a “tantric sofa” in the corner.
Roxana and Julia tell me this warped chaise longue has been custom built in Germany for “adult fun”.
They point out the strange lamp, a whip-wielding headless mannequin sporting a leather gimp suit.
I go to rest my pad on a table: it’s a bekilted pair of legs with a glass top.
In the hall there are a few erotic prints: buttocks, lingerie, more leather. There’s a busty stone torso and a phallic doll on the side.
The master bedroom is fitted with a “Luvsense” curved ceiling mirror. “It lets you see everything”, said Julia.
The flat is available on through Maple Estate agents and costs a minimum of £300 a night, plus management fees.
To rent it, you must be over 21. The estate agents insist I mention the place isn’t for parties.
More than once they say: “It’s for couples – no more than four people.”
After the tour, we crack open tiny bottles of pink champagne beneath posters of half-nude fetish enthusiasts.
We stand in awkward silence. “I’ve got to be going”, I say, and scuttle out.
From the street at night, you can sometimes see the mannequins light up. But for the most part, it looks like any other house.
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