“BRIGHT, spacious... and kinky.” It’s not a term in the average estate agent’s lexicon. But then this isn’t your average flat.

The property in Cumberland Court is Brighton’s answer to the Fifty Shades of Grey playroom: an unassuming seafront flat jam-packed with sex toys, coital sofas and wall-to-wall erotica.

Lettings agents Roxana Baneila and Julia Maria have agreed to show me around.

They’re waiting in the kitchen. Aside from a suggestive poster (a piece of fruit shaped like a vulva), this room – at least – is fairly normal.

Julia said: “The modern two-bedroom flat is in a prime location close to the seaside, and it’s very light and airy. It’s one of Brighton’s real gems. But it’s not your typical property.”

The Argus:

The main room is up first.

There’s a huge circular bed slap-bang in the middle, and a “tantric sofa” in the corner.

Roxana and Julia tell me this warped chaise longue has been custom built in Germany for “adult fun”.

The Argus:

They point out the strange lamp, a whip-wielding headless mannequin sporting a leather gimp suit.

I go to rest my pad on a table: it’s a bekilted pair of legs with a glass top.

In the hall there are a few erotic prints: buttocks, lingerie, more leather. There’s a busty stone torso and a phallic doll on the side.

The master bedroom is fitted with a “Luvsense” curved ceiling mirror. “It lets you see everything”, said Julia.

The Argus:

The flat is available on through Maple Estate agents and costs a minimum of £300 a night, plus management fees.

To rent it, you must be over 21. The estate agents insist I mention the place isn’t for parties.

More than once they say: “It’s for couples – no more than four people.”

After the tour, we crack open tiny bottles of pink champagne beneath posters of half-nude fetish enthusiasts.

We stand in awkward silence. “I’ve got to be going”, I say, and scuttle out.

From the street at night, you can sometimes see the mannequins light up. But for the most part, it looks like any other house.