“YOU wait till I’ve got my t**s on.”

Dame Dixon is the Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for Hove and Portslade.

When we first met her, she was wearing a suit and carried a briefcase. Now, after a ten-minute rummage in the office store cupboard, she has emerged in full panto gear, with rosy cheeks, a frock and a very ample bosom.

Dame Dixon has come to The Argus to chat about policy ahead of the general election and is joined by one of the party’s most senior figures.

Baron von Thunderclap has been a mainstay of the Monster Raving Loony Party for years.

He arrives wearing yellow rosettes, a military pith helmet and a T-shirt bearing the words of his party’s flagship policy, Save the dodo.

He said: “I’m Baron von Thunderclap.

“I’m membership secretary, I’m also party secretary, and now I’m apparently also joint leader of the Loony Party.”

He outlined a few of his chief proposals.

He said: “We’re really pushing this time to save the dodo.

“That’s one of our really important ones.”

On Europe, he wants “full reparations from Germany for German measles and from Spain for Spanish flu”, “toll booths across the Channel”, and for the whole of Britain to become a tax haven.

He hands me a save the dodo badge and a bumper sticker.

Dame Dixon stood in 2015 general election and secured 125 votes.

She is hoping to double that number with an array of pantomime-themed policies this year.

She said: “I’m a pantomime dame.

“Sometimes I live in Hove, sometimes I live in pantoland with Jack and Aladdin and Snow White.

“I’ve got lots of lovely policies I’m going to tell you about.”

Highlights include replacing the word Brexit with the words “deep pan pepperoni feast”. “That way I can promise to deliver it,” she said.

She has big plans for the city. She said: “During the summer months on alternate weekends Brighton’s beach will be sandy except on August Bank Holiday when it will be made of sherbet.

“Hove will appoint its own genie of the lamp who will grant wishes on the third Thursday of every month.

“And during engineering works, trains will be replaced by magic carpets.”

Dame Dixon’s immigration policy is small-scale.

She said: “Hove will have an open border policy with Croydon so they can come and have chips on the pier and we can go to Ikea.”

Since its inception, the Monster Raving Loony party has courted protest voters. Dame Dixon follows in this tradition.

She said: “This election is lunacy so vote for a loony.

“This is the reason I’m standing in Hove, people are sick of it.

“They’re sick of politicians, they’re sick of politics. So come and waste your vote with me. Voting’s very important, you should always vote. Vote for me.

“Come and put your cross next to my name.

“Everybody else might be silly. Vote for us because we’re truly silly. I’m delivering undeliverable nonsense.”

The Monster Raving Loony Party was established in 1983 by the musician David Sutch, also known as Screaming Lord Sutch, third Earl of Harrow.

The party effectively exists to mock British politics.

It won 3,890 votes in 2017, when then Prime Minister Theresa May had to stand beside independent candidate Lord Buckethead, who was wearing a bucket on his head as the votes came in at her Maidenhead constituency.

He secured 0.4 per cent of the vote.