APPARENTLY moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do and I could not agree more.

I am currently surrounded by boxes while totting up just how much it is going to cost me to move... and it is a lot.

First up, you have to find an alternative place to live and that is not as easy as it appears, especially if you have a cat.

I only have one now because my ginger tomcat Jimi died last week and was cremated on Wednesday. As I said in my previous column, he will be sorely missed but having even one cat seems to be a no-no with 90 per cent of landlords.

Fortunately I have finally found somewhere where having a cat is not deemed to be the ultimate sin. So both he and I are sorted in terms of accommodation.

Unfortunately I have been a hoarder and collector for much of my adult life and it is only when you start packing that your realise with increasing horror just how much stuff you have accumulated over the years.

For starters, I have more than 1,000 books, then there are the 2,000 vinyl records and 2,500 plus CDs.

I also have a penchant for antiques, so there is the not so small matter of moving a huge Fifties pine kitchen cabinet, two bookcases, a Welsh dresser, dining room table, assorted armchairs and so forth.

I reckon I am probably going to need at least 100 boxes to get everything packed up and that is just the half of it. Once you get everything moved you then have to unpack it at the other end and that is also a pain.

This time I am going to get a professional removal company to do it, regardless of the expense.

When I moved from Essex to Sussex two years ago I decided, unwisely, that I would do it with my brother. Well, never again.

In total it took 16 hours and by the time everything had been unloaded and roughly put in place we were barely on speaking terms.

I vowed never to move again, but unfortunately my landlord has decided to sell up and there is no option but to find somewhere else to live.

When John Lennon sang “Imagine no possessions” he was clearly having a laugh.

I would love to go all Feng Shui and get rid of everything but it is just not possible for someone like me who loves being surrounded by objects I have lovingly accumulated over the past four decades.

It is difficult to change now, I am set in my ways.

So the boxes keep piling up but the number of items still needing to be packed appear not to be diminishing one iota.

Thus far, ten boxes have been packed but this weekend I shall be launching into overdrive. The days are ticking by and there is still far too much to do.

I am renowned for being disorganised but this move must be done with military precision. Chaos cannot be allowed to ensue.

I am starting with the kitchen. There is stuff in cupboards I didn’t even know I owned. Why on earth have I got 20 Jamie Oliver dinner plates? I don’t remember buying them.

There are close to 30 coffee mugs but none of them match. There is a drawer full of knives and forks, assorted spoons and seven corkscrews.

Why? I have no idea but Oxfam in Portslade is about to receive a donation of six corkscrews. No one needs them these days anyway because 95 per scent of wine bottles have screw tops.

Then there are paintings and framed posters and I own a lot of them, yet only four of them are on the wall. The others are all hidden out of sight behind an armchair. I should give them away, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

It is a similar issue with clothes. At the last count I own eight pairs of Levi’s, five Levi jackets and four suits.

I loathe wearing suits so why own four? You only need one, preferably dark, for weddings and funerals.

Therefore the big clear out is about to commence before the move. It has to in order to avoid becoming one of those compulsive hoarders who is found dead months later under a huge pile of unnecessary objects.

I am not buying any more vinyl records, CDs or DVDs. While packing the latter yesterday at least 30 of them had never been opened. What a waste. They can go to the charity shop too for someone else to enjoy.

Promises, promises, I know but this time I mean it.

There is absolutely no point in hanging on to things you don’t need and with my 59th birthday just a month away it really is time to change the habits of a lifetime.