Sussex foster father reflects on 58 years of caring for children in need

He and his late wife Janet started fostering children and young people in 1962 after they saw an appeal in The Argus.

Tom, who lives in Lancing, said: “The Argus was originally advertising for people to look after the ‘boat children’, who were refugees and orphans from Vietnam.

“We applied and the next thing we knew there was a knock at the door from a social worker asking if we could look after a little baby called Hughy from Brighton.

“He was 15 months old and she had him right there in her arms. That’s how it used to be.

“We took him in and we’ve been fostering ever since.”

Tom and Janet Kent with their long service award from Compass Fostering last year

According to Tom, fostering has vastly changed since he and Janet, who died in February, started caring for children in the 1960s.

The 80-year-old believes the system has changed for the better, as potential foster parents are more thoroughly inspected and they receive more comprehensive information about the child.

Tom said: “Now you have a year-long assessment and the social worker will ask you lots of questions about your own upbringing.

“Foster carers do training every year now and all first aid courses but it used to be straight in.

“We had one boy who we didn’t have any information on at all. He was wandering around the house all night and never slept.

“I got up one night and he took a knife to me. It turned out he’d seen some terrible things.

“He received treatment and is doing much better.

“Nowadays you get paperwork galore – it’s far better than it ever was.”

Fire and electrical service engineer Nico Tanner was ten when he moved in with Tom and Jan.

The 24-year-old believes they may be the longest running foster carers in the country.

He said: “I’ve been searching online and I can’t find any other foster carers who have done it as long as Tom and Jan.

“I still go to put up the Christmas lights with Tom every year. He has a heart of gold.

“They devoted their lives to fostering and I want to show thanks for all they’ve done.”

Nico Tanner was fostered by Tom and Janet

Over the six decades they fostered, Tom and Janet took in children of any age for long and short term placements, once even caring for five siblings simultaneously.

Tom said: “A lot of people foster for the money these days but we always did it for the love of the child.

“We had three children of our own, Brian, Julie and Marie, and they were all brought up with foster children.

“We took them to places like America on our holidays – we treated them as one of our own.

“I’ve given one of the girls, Angelina, away at her wedding. They all keep in touch with me now.”

Tom with foster daughter Angelina Netts on her wedding day

Tom and Janet soon learned it can take a lot of time and work before a foster child feels safe, and the two parents worked as a team to accommodate each individual’s needs.

He said: “You have to adapt to the child. It’s stressful and you never know what the day is going to hold. You have to think twice before you say something in case it’s the wrong word.

“We had one girl who said she wasn’t staying because our place was ‘too posh’. A lot of kids weren’t used to having their own bedroom and bathroom.

“There are a lot of children looking for stability in their lives.”

Care leaver Angelina Netts, who now lives in Croydon and works in a school, was 14 when Tom and Janet became her foster parents in 1986.

The 48-year-old said: “I still class him as my dad – 34 years they’ve been my foster parents. They’re incredible people.”

One of Tom and Janet’s foster children, Daniel, was with them for 21 years and only moved out in 2016.

Tom said: “Dan was ten when we fostered him, and he’d been with ten different families before that. He was so happy when I said he could stay.”

Tom said one of the key lessons he learned was the importance of having the child’s respect.

He said: “There was one girl who carried on being naughty. One day I realised she would only listen if we confiscated her hairbrush.

“From that day on we got on like a house on fire, and she came up here to see me when my wife died.

“I’ve got foster grandchildren now – it’s unbelievable. It’s a fantastic life.”