Tom and I have had some lovely times out and about together. We had a weekend in Warrington at his sister's wedding reception, a lovely hotel break in London for our anniversary weekend and a couple of theatre trips.

We took Lewis to Drury Lane to see Lord of the Rings. We know one of the cast members and we were treated extremely well, meeting some of the cast before the show and having a backstage tour afterwards. Lewis was given a programme autographed by actors and actresses especially for him. He was so chuffed. I love it when people do things for my boys.

Tom also took me up to Chelsea to see a football match and I have to confess that, surprisingly, I actually enjoyed it. It must have been the good company.

Lewis continues to play football most weekends and I got absolutely soaked watching him one Sunday. I had cycled over to the pitch and had to get myself back in the rain and I haven't really been feeling too good since.

My oncologist has booked me in for an MRI scan and he will also change some of my medication. I was having a down day when I saw him and felt quite tearful when I got home as he talked about me going back onto chemotherapy.

But he also gave me a glimmer of hope in respect of me driving again as he said not to sell my car until after my scan. So I am hanging on in there. I had also booked to get my hair coloured blond again and he said I should go ahead with that too.

I think in anyone's life there are always going to be good and bad days and I just hit a horrible patch and let myself get upset over some personal and financial matters.

After a very long-standing conflict with an insurance company, who cancelled my life insurance after I told them I had cancer, I plucked the courage to approach the ombusdman who are currently looking into the case.

What I tell myself is that since I don't have much time left with the people I love I must ensure I fully appreciate all the wonderful people and things in my world now. I acknowledge that all in life is not fair and just and there are some things that we cannot be in control of. But I refuse to let my life become consumed in negativity.

Thinking of something funny or quirky things that the boys do and say often helps. A simple moment like their faces when we went to get their eyes tested the other day can keep me going. I sat opposite whilst we fought furiously not to laugh but little embarrassed giggles kept escaping us anyway. It is all I need to remind myself of what is important and of how lucky I really am.

I was pleased to see the Mummy Memoirs on Channel 4 the other evening. I had been approached by the film production company in 2005 and had test interviews for the programme. They were terrific and kept in touch with me for quite some time but in the end I couldn't do it because of some unforseen personal circumstances at my end.

It helped me a lot with ideas of how to prepare my children for my death and I would recommend anyone in our situation to watch it. I rather liked the idea of everyone having a little card and a pink balloon to record a message to me and release at my funeral - as they did at the funeral of one brave lady who was interviewed.

Suddenly my idea of my ashes being made into a firework seems a bit brash.

Recently I helped out on a pink tombola stall in aid of a breast cancer charity in Brighton. They are such a lovely group of positively bubbly ladies and our conversation must have sounded most bizarre to anyone listening in.

We discussed our various ailments, prognosis, medication etc as if it were the most natural thing in the world. We were finding so many things in common yet each individual case and effect so different.

Sadly I didn't quite hold out until the end of the day as my headaches are getting worse again and I felt quite unwell. Tom picked me up as I went straight home to bed I noticed that my neck was of a very strange colour and that there were strange patches on my face.

Although not uncomfortable it wasn't a good look and I assumed it must be a reaction to the new hormone treatment. But when I awoke I noticed my pillowcase had also turned pink and then I realised it was the dye from the delightful pink tinsel wig that the girls had given me to wear.