A woman from Sussex was conned out of hundreds of thousands of pounds by a man she met online and who she imagined a life with.

Susan, from Sussex, was targeted by romance fraudsters after having recovered from a difficult marriage.

In her 50s, divorced with two children, she began to explore the idea of online dating.

“I was finally ready to meet someone new,” she said.

She eventually met a man online, and they quickly started to develop a close relationship spending hours speaking on the phone.

However, after just a few weeks, Susan received the first request for money.

Her suitor claimed he needed financial help to get him out of a tough spot with a business matter.

But not long after, he began requesting more money, this time for repatriation costs following the supposed death of a family member.

Over the course of a few years, Susan ended up giving hundreds of thousands of pounds to the man, under the impression that the pair were going to be together, and he would eventually pay her back.

Discovering that the man she had imagined a life with was not who he claimed to be was hheartbreaking 

“I felt a huge sense of loss, not just from the money, but from the emotional loss of losing the man that I loved with all my heart,” she said.

“To make matters worse, he never truly existed. I had no chance of getting any closure.”

Once Susan reported her experience to Action Fraud, she received a visit from Sussex Police.

She was then assigned a Victim Support caseworker in Sussex, who provided her with emotional support and validation, as well as guidance on appealing her losses to the bank and the Financial Ombudsman Service.

Victim Support’s fraud service in Sussex offers specialist support to victims of economic crime, with a particular focus on vulnerable victims.

The service provides victims with emotional support and practical advice, whether or not the crime has been reported to the police.

Victim Support also advocates on a victim’s behalf with banks and financial agencies to help recover funds that had previously been denied to them.

According to Lisa Mills, senior fraud manager at Victim Support in Sussex, the rise in romance fraud cases locally is "deeply concerning".

The charity saw the number of romance fraud cases referred to its Sussex based specialist fraud service increase from 120 in 2019/20 to over 300 in 2021/22.

“Whilst the financial losses can destroy people’s livelihood, the emotional nature of romance fraud can also lead to long-lasting psychological trauma,” said Ms Mills.

“Unfortunately, there is a lot of stigma associated with this crime. We’ve supported people who are too ashamed to tell their loved ones what has happened.

"Some are too fearful to go back online, whilst others no longer want to leave their house.

"It is important to remember that romance fraudsters are skilled manipulators, so those who are targeted must not blame themselves.”

Lisa’s top tips for avoiding romance fraudsters:

  • Watch out for early declarations of love, asking you to keep the relationship secret and making up excuses for not being able to do a video call or meet in person.
  • Asking for money is an immediate red flag. Beware that they might try to convince you by using emotive language, saying things like, ‘but I thought we were in love’.
  • Be wary of someone asking you for sensitive information or requesting copies of key documents like your driving licence and passport - never give out this information.
  • Never accept money from third parties into your account – they might be trying to use you for money laundering.