A man who fostered hundreds of children over the course of 60 years has said it is the “most rewarding job”.
Thomas Kent, from Lancing, and his late wife Janet fostered “between 300 and 400 children” between 1962 and Janet’s death in 2020.
The couple still had a teenage boy in their care when Janet died. It is believed that they were the longest serving foster parents in the country at the time.
Thomas had recently left national service, and the couple had just bought their first house in Mile Oak when they saw an advertisement in the then Evening Argus calling on people to foster Vietnamese children who had been orphaned during the war there.
Although the couple already had a baby of their own, and Thomas was just 23, they put their names down for fostering.
“The next thing we knew we had a lady knocking on the door with a baby in her arms,” Thomas said.
The baby boy, who was not from Vietnam, became the couple’s first foster child.
“I was an only child, so I always wanted a big family,” Thomas said. “I don’t like being on my own, and we both loved children.
“I thought I had been thoroughly and utterly spoilt as an only child and national service taught me that people need looking after.”
Thomas and Janet had two daughters and a son of their own but made sure to always treat the children they fostered “as part of our family”.
Their foster children would go on holiday with them – including trips to the USA – and they would buy presents for their birthdays and at Christmas.
“We taught them what love is in a family,” Thomas said.
“When they arrived, we would sit them down and ask, what are your likes, what are your dislikes, where do you want to go and what do you want to be.”
One boy came to live with the couple at the age of 10 and only left at 31. Thomas supported him in getting his first job and helped him to buy a house. He now has a partner and child and still comes back to visit Thomas.
Thomas has twice been asked to give away former foster daughters at their weddings.
“For one of them, her father was in the congregation, and I said to her ‘he should be doing this, not me’.
“She said, ‘you mean the world to me, I want you to walk me down the aisle’. I felt so proud.”
On one occasion, the couple fostered a young girl who was so happy living with them that she asked if her three brothers and sister could come to live with them too.
For two months, the couple cared for all five siblings at once.
Thomas recalls one boy who came to stay with them, who, in a shocking turn of events, pulled a bread knife on him. As an ex-serviceman, he managed to disarm the boy and detain him until police arrived.
“It was the most frightening thing which ever happened,” he said. “Nothing like that had ever happened before or since. It shook us rigid.”
Only afterwards were the couple informed that the boy had witnessed the murder of his mother.
“After that I started asking about the children’s background,” he said.
Thomas and Jan met at the age of 17 on a blind date and quickly fell in love. They were married for almost 60 years and had eight grandchildren and 27 great-grandchildren – some of whom are from their foster children.
Thomas continues to be visited by many of the children they fostered over the years.
“When Jan died, I had no end of emails and people coming to see me with bouquets,” he said.
“At her funeral, we could only have 10 people inside [due to the pandemic] but there were 1,000 people standing outside the crematorium to say goodbye to Jan.”
Thomas says that the key to being a good foster parent is getting to know the child’s “do’s and don’ts”, talking 1:1, understanding “what they have been through” and making them feel “part of the family”.
“It’s about teamwork,” he said. “Jan and I had a lovely relationship, and I couldn’t have done it without her.”
The 86-year-old says he is concerned that fostering is “overpaid”.
“The problem today is that it’s about the money, not the child,” he said.
“Fostering is the most rewarding job in this country, and we didn’t do it for recognition, but for the love of it.
“We had a fantastic life, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
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