Trying the UK's longest inflatable obstacle course Labyrinth

You reach a point where it suddenly becomes inappropriate to enjoy yourself on playground equipment. 

All the joy of jungle gyms, bouncy castles, and monkey bars are wretched joltingly out of your life. 

“It’s time to grow up”, the oppressors say. “These things are for children.”

Attempting to set a new course record (Image: The Argus)

 But just because you’re no longer allowed on the swings and the slides, that doesn’t mean that urge to play goes away. It just gets added to the other simmering, unaddressed resentments of adult life, securely bottled up for a future eruption. 

And clearly the good people at Simply the Best Events agree. For the past decade, they've been bringing the Labyrinth Challenge to the play-starved people of Britain – a 1,000ft inflatable obstacle course, the longest in the UK, with kids and grown-up children equally welcome.

Climbing one of the many ladders (Image: The Argus)

The Labyrinth is currently touring the country, in celebration of its 10th birthday, with the first gig of the tour held at the South of England Event Centre, near Ardingly, on May 9 and 10. 

Simply the Best kindly invited me down to have a go – they did not have to ask twice. 

I arrived with my friend Darroch at the event centre around lunchtime on Saturday. The sun was out and it seemed a lovely day to play.

There's all kinds of ways to come down a slide (Image: The Argus)

Walking through the gate, we caught our first glimpse of the course. It is stonkin’ big, to be fair - a three-sided, u-shaped, brightly coloured monolith. 

Eager to get amongst it, we whipped off our shoes and headed for the start.

“Just take it easy, lads”, a friendly steward advised as we entered the Labyrinth. “It’s hard work in there.” 

We initially thought he was being a bit condescending. About 90 seconds later, we understood what he was getting at.

Emerging from the cosmic void (Image: The Argus)

It was tough! It may look soft and colourful, but make no mistake, the course is a proper workout. Jumping over hurdles, bouncing through obstacles, lots of climbing and sliding. Within minutes, we were breathing like pugs going up stairs. 

Not a pretty sight. Nor did we feel any better about our fitness as energetic children bounded tirelessly past with no trace of fatigue. Perhaps this is why adults aren’t normally allowed on such things – to spare us the stark reminder of our physical deterioration. 

There was certainly plenty of bounce in the castle (Image: The Argus)

So taking on the Labyrinth Challenge definitely counts as exercise. Unlike some other forms of exercise though, it was also highly enjoyable. 

We rolled and tumbled like 10-year-olds at a birthday party. How liberating it was to scramble and bustle around like that, to throw yourself through the air in the comfort of a giant cushion. 

None of the external world’s relentless problems could penetrate the towering, inflated walls of the Labyrinth. 

Sometimes you just have to roll with it (Image: The Argus)

And goodness did we laugh! The laughter that comes from simple, honest fun. There's plenty of poisonous ways to make merry, but none nourish the soul in the same way as doing a roly-poly down a big blow-up slide. 

We went round the course twice, then stepped out for a much-needed rest. We had a jumbo hotdog and played a spot of mini-golf, pursuing leisure to new heights. 

As if the UK’s longest inflatable obstacles course wasn’t enough to draw you in, there's also a support act on the tour – the “world’s biggest” bouncy castle.

Monkeying around on the world's biggest bouncy castle (Image: The Argus)

I couldn’t tell you whether it actually is the biggest in the world, but at 23 metres long and 20 wide, I can confirm that it is a whopper. This reporter can also confirm that the castle is indeed very bouncy. 

Satisfied that we’d got as high as we possibly could, we exited the castle and returned to the Labyrinth for one more lap. 

“Not so easy, is it!”, the steward joked warmly. This time, we could only agree.

An exhausted Darroch after we completed our second lap (Image: The Argus)

And the third lap was definitely our slowest, our tiring limbs and overstretched lungs imploring us to go gently. Still, that did nothing to diminish our whimsical revelry. 

I would certainly recommend it. I was beaming after an hour frolicking around on there. I’m no doctor, but I wouldn’t hesitate to prescribe the Labyrinth for anyone suffering the symptoms of chronic adulthood. 

Just because you're too old to keep up with the kids, doesn't mean you're too old to play.

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