It has now been nearly two months since Valentine’s Day and I am still none the wiser as to who sent me the Card.

Every year I get sent pity cards from my mum, godmother and my friend Matt. This year was no different; they all still felt sorry for me. However, instead of having three cards to stare back at me from the mantelpiece, I had four.

Someone who signed their name ‘?’ (original) also decided that I needed to get a card.

With no clue from the hand writing or the post mark, I am still completely in the dark, which brings me to my point. What is the point?

This seemingly shy individual has plucked up the courage to tell me in very few words that they think that I am ‘alright’. I applaud their bravery (in more ways than one) but in the same breath I would like to mock their cowardice for not signing their name or even attempting to give me a clue or silly ditty to unravel and point me in the right direction of their identity. What was the point of sending the card? Did you, sender of anonymous cards, think that your cleverly constructed plan would work? That you would use the one day a year where you can quite unreservedly tell the person that you fancy, that you would like to bare/ father their children and that using a card from ‘?’ would work? Do you now sit around wondering why I have not got in touch and fallen into a loving embrace with you? Perhaps this will now shed some light.

Of course, there is always the possibility that this year’s mystery Valentine’s Card, that now resides in my ‘things from idiots’ box, is in actual fact a pity card of the lowest form. A card that was not sent with any feelings of affection, like a card from a mother or friend but instead a card sent to ridicule my current relationship status by someone very cruel indeed. How nice.

If you were the person that sent me the Valentines Card, who can spell my name correctly, scarily knows where I live and writes ‘e’s as ‘c’s with a line through them, then show yourself.

If you sent a Valentines Card as a joke to someone this year, then I would like you to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. You are very mean.

If you sent a genuine and heartfelt card to someone over a month ago and signed your name as novel question mark and you now wish that they knew that the card was from have got this would be silly to stop. Pick up the phone, send them a text, write them an email, Facebook them, but for God’s sake let them know that it was from you. What is the worst that could happen?