A soap opera that’s shrunk in the wash is the best way I can think of describing over-styled new drama, Personal Affairs. It’s centred round four female PA’s, who have such convoluted private lives that they just can’t seem to avoid bringing them to work. Luckily their respective bosses are too busy being incompetent, drunk or in love with them to really notice.

Let me introduce you to the ladies.

Lucy is, at first glance, your typical Essex type. Her dyed blonde hair and fondness for leopard print are testament to this. But beneath the New Look exterior is an inexplicable talent for business. Lucy teams her leopard print with pencil skirts to demonstrate that she should in fact, be taken very, very seriously. Why won’t they take you seriously Lucy? What are you going to have to sacrifice to prove you belong at the top? Those animal prints for starters.

Nicole is terrifically well bred, and has the double-barrelled surname to prove it. She doesn’t suffer fools gladly, but will happily sleep with and then discard them. Why is this Nicole? What secret pain has led you this sort of reprehensible behaviour? Nicole wears a monstrous fur coat which makes sure you will always spot her approaching and have time to get out of her royal way.

Michelle or ‘Midge’ is a bit northern, a bit ditzy, dresses like a precocious school girl, accessorises with flowers and spends most of the working day finding empty office space so that she can be taken advantage of by some handsome devil from accounts. When are you going to learn to respect yourself Midge? When will you realise that you don’t have to straddle a photocopier to get attention?

Grace is a love letter to the 1950’s, when women dressed demurely, acted appropriately and always knew how many sugars you liked in your expertly brewed coffee. Grace wears a lot cream, to match her personality. There must be more to you Grace? Something you’re not telling us? When are you going to let the real you burst out from beneath those pastels?

Oh and there’s another one, who wears long sleeves and too much eyeliner and is trying to fleece the company. Shouldn’t prove difficult. You could move a family of Palestinian refugees into one of the meeting rooms and nobody would notice.

The fast pace and relentless demands of a corporate career are reflected in the high speed shots of the city which are rammed into the programme at ten minute intervals. Everybody works a 12 hour day. Thing is, if they spent less time flapping and flirting and fussing over who said what to who, and actually got on with their jobs - they’d probably get to go home at about 4.30.

Just when the girls look like they might make a start on that filing, one of them makes a shock confession, or receives a distressing phone call, which means they have to decamp to the ladies toilets and sort it all out. There is an awful lot of sorting out to do. Unplanned pregnancy, infidelity, sexy shenanigans, mysterious disappearance, thwarted dreams and shattered hearts. Issues, issues, ISSUES. And we’re only 2 episodes in. Phew!

Personal Affairs, BBC3, Tuesdays at 9pm